In Honor of our Children
by Tarlia
Summary: Sequel to Final Fantasy VIII. What happens to Galbadia after the defeat of Ultimecia? How will Squall and Rinoa's relationship evolve? What about the others? What about Laguna...? 37 chapters total.
1. Chapters 01 - 05

# Final Fantasy VIII – In Honor of our Children

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A Fan Fiction Sequel to Final Fantasy VIII and Forgotten Memories, by Tarlia.

Most names and characters are copyright Square, except a few original characters which are copyright Tarlia.

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_Chapter 1:_

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(So… That's it, then?)

Finally.

Finally, he was alone. Finally, he could have open space to breathe, and a quiet moment to think. People said thinking too much is bad for you, but surely too much social life can be bad for a guy too. Especially for one who was so used to solitude.

People. Who need them, anyway? All they do is get in your way, ask you stupid questions, annoy you, wanting to know how you feel… Stand up for you when you need it, be by your side in battle… He guessed they were what was called friends.

Friends. Who had helped him through this, no matter how much he hated to admit it. He still couldn't believe it - all that had happened in less than a month. In a flash he had went from a simple Garden student to a hero – from a boy with serious lack of social skills to savior of the world. Of the universe, even. When he decided to become a SeeD, he couldn't even begin to imagine where it would take him. Without doubt, it was far more than he ever could have expected.

At the time, he hadn't had time to think. It all went so fast. Stop Galbadia. Fight Seifer. Kill the Sorceress. Stop Galbadia. Fight Seifer. Kill the Sorceress. And all the little events in-between… What were they? He had never tried to be a hero, never thought of himself of a hero, even as he jumped out into space to save a girl whose chances of survival were close to nothing. Only fought to keep himself alive, to ensure the safety of the one he… loved?

Now when he was alone, the thoughts came back to him.

He could barely accept the fact he had friends now. He cared about them, he had never denied that to himself, but it was more difficult to believe that they cared about him. The shell he had wrapped around himself – to prevent anyone from getting close to him – had cracked at some places, enough to let them in. No, he wouldn't talk with them, he wouldn't tell them how he felt. A part of him – a big part of him still feared they would leave him injured like Sis had done 13 years ago, and it still feared that if they saw what he was really like, they wouldn't want to be his friends anymore. It was childish and foolish, he knew that, yet he couldn't let go. Maybe he didn't want to try. He was scared, and he wouldn't admit it.

But he wasn't so cold anymore. He acknowledged their presence, he didn't shrug them off. Slowly, slowly, the cracks were getting wider and perhaps in time, his shell would fall apart.

It wasn't so much his childhood friends, though, who had caused it to brake, as much as it was one particular friend… The one who was so different from all of them, his exact opposite, the one that annoyed him the most and yet had him enchanted with her. The one he had solely risked his life for on several occasions. The one whose smile could make his harsh frown melt and his eyes soften.

He had smiled last night. For the first time in… he didn't even remember how long. A true smile, and it came from the heart. So much relief, happiness… It was over, all over, and those he cared about were safe.

He had kissed her last night. And it was the first time he had felt a girl's lips touch him since the day Ellone had left and kissed his cheek goodbye.

So pathetic… So foolish. He had surrendered everything to one girl, and he knew he had already fallen in love with her. It would still take a while before the words could form on his lips, but he knew it, and he hoped she knew it too. Pathetic, perhaps, but it made him feel better than he had in a long, long time.

She would make him open his heart, and he would willingly walk into her trap, let her seduce him, let her capture him with her spell. If she walked away now, it would be worse than any pain he had ever felt before, even worse than the throbbing fear of her leaving that plagued him every minute. What if she went back to Timber? What if she went back to her father? Quistis had called him a fool for not disagreeing with her choice to stay in Esthar, and maybe he was… Yet he still felt it was none of his business to interfere with her decisions. Was that love? Respect? Both? 

Either way, he prayed she would stay. He couldn't bear losing her.

But he had kissed her, last night, and she had kissed him back. She had looked into his eyes with her own, warm brown ones and smiled tenderly, caressing his cheek with a single hand. They had danced, last night, and this time he had managed every step perfectly, while focusing on her face the entire time. The world was a spinning mass of dimmed lights and music, the dull sound of people quietly whispering – needless to say, chatting about them – heard in the background.

And in the middle was Rinoa, like a fairy tale princess dancing with her prince.

Or a Sorceress dancing with her faithful knight.

It gave him hope.

The thought would have disgusted him before. The whole idea of being so desperately dependent on this spunky girl who had gracefully forced her way into his life. Truth be told, he did have mixed feelings. He knew he loved her and he knew he was entering a world he had denied himself for too long, but he also feared what he would see on the path, and he feared she would disappear before he could even get used to having her around. The frightened part of him wanted to flee before it was too late. Then again, maybe it was too late already.

There was so much fear. What would the world think of that? All the students of Garden who admired him and looked up to him as a leader, all the journalists who greedily waited outside the mobile military academy to ask him questions on how it felt like to be a hero and what he had been thinking about in the moment when he gave Ultimecia the final blow. What would they say if their 'fearless' savior was afraid of his own emotions? Would they laugh? Be disappointed? Just stare at him?

The boy snorted and blinked his eyes open, staring at the white painted ceiling of his dorm room. Leader. Hero. Hah.

Suddenly, there was a knock at the door. His steel blue eyes moved and focused on the plate of wood which separated him and the spot where Rinoa had kissed him goodnight less than 8 hours ago.

"Squall?" Came the sweet and familiar voice from outside. It was her.

"Squall? Are you awake?"

(I could get used to this… Waking up to her voice.)

"Headmaster Cid wants to see us. All of us. He says it's important."

(So much for a peaceful morning.)

"Squall?" The voice bore a faint hint of concern now, and the handle on the door started to move. 

Quickly, Squall sat up and replied, "I'm coming."

Still feeling a bit stiff from the final battle with Ultimecia, he rose from the bed and staggered over to the mirror. After being found by Rinoa, he had been bound to the infirmary for a week and so they had to delay the party until he was back on his feet. It was the least they could do, Cid had said. He shook his head at the memory. It didn't exactly pay for the despair he had felt when he was left in the middle of nowhere, but it had been worth it, just to share that kiss.

Pulling on his usual jacket and combing his fingers through his hair a few times, he felt ready to go. Sighing as he opened the door, he wondered what Cid wanted this time. He was met by a smiling Rinoa who grabbed his arm and started walking down the corridor almost before he could shut the door behind him.

"Come on, sleepyhead. The others are waiting."

_Chapter 2:_

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The Headmaster's office wasn't much of a office anymore after the mobile Garden's control room had shot its way right through it. Still, the familiar gang had gathered there rather than on the bridge this time – there wasn't much space up there. At some point, someone had put up a new desk and chair for the headmaster near the lift leading to the bridge, and Cid was currently enjoying actually being able to sit in his own office again. Next to him, his wife was standing, a mild and calm expression on her face. Matron, not Sorceress Edea. Quistis was located close to Edea, Selphie was sitting on the floor, Zell was standing nearby punching the air in boredom, and Irvine was leaning against the wall.

As the door opened, six pair of eyes turned their attention to the arriving couple. Squall was embarrassed when he noticed even Zell had arrived before him.

"You're late, Squall. Didn't you hear my announcement an hour ago?" Cid questioned, trying to look and sound stern even if he didn't take the delay very seriously.

"I… was still asleep, sir. I'm sorry," Squall shrugged a little as he stepped up to the desk, while Rinoa walked over to Selphie, whispering something to her. Both girls giggled, and Squall shot them a look. He wasn't entirely sure about what was so funny, but he could swear he had heard the words 'cute' and 'sleep' included.

"It's no big deal," Cid smiled warmly, "You deserve to be late for once."

Edea titled her head, "You look tired, Squall," she pointed out. The boy sighed.

(Please, just get on with it.)

"So, what's up, headmaster?" Irvine asked, and the gazes that had been locked on Squall changed their view to Cid.

"Ah, yes," Cid rose from his chair, and everybody straightened from their more or less relaxed positions, getting into regular SeeD mode. Except Squall, of course, he didn't have to change position. His friends wondered if he even knew how to relax at all.

"Again, I would like to congratulate you on defeating Ultimecia. I know I have said this before, but…"

"…about ten times…," Zell muttered, and was rewarded with a giggle from Selphie, and reprimanding glances from both Quistis and Cid.

"…But," the headmaster continued, annoyed, "I'd like to congratulate you privately too. All members of Garden did an excellent job during these troubled times, but the six of you did the rough work. Without you, life as we know it would no longer exist. Thank you."

Squall kept a straight face. He had heard it all before, and it was starting to bore him. The others were smiling, and he noticed Rinoa was looking a bit uncomfortable.

Obviously, Cid did too, and continued, "Rinoa, you are not a SeeD student, but you were a important part in our mission. I respect you and we all owe you a lot. You are free to stay at Garden whenever you want, as long as you want. Our arms are always open for you."

This made the girl feel a little better, and she smiled wider.

"Still, despite everything you've done, I'm afraid it's not over yet. We may have gotten rid of the major threat, but the world is still in shambles after everything that has happened. And as you know, SeeD needs to survive until Ultimecia's time. We are short of funding. Galbadia Garden is still missing, and Trabia Garden hasn't gotten very far in their rebuilding yet. We need money, and the world needs us to carry out their missions. Esthar is taking care of themselves, but Galbadia doesn't even have a new President after the previous incidents, and they are in complete chaos. We need to…"

Cid kept on talking, and Squall felt an incoming headache pound in his forehead.

(It's not over yet… This is just the beginning. And as always, I'm caught in the middle of it.)

(But at least, there'll be no more hell like what we've just been through. Fighting rebellious Galbadians will be piece of cake compared to Ultimecia…)

"…And, of course, Commander Leonhart will be in charge of the group."

Blinking, Squall focused on Cid again, "…What?"

Was he still a Commander? He had thought it was only temporarily, that he was only in charge of the military when it was on its worst. He didn't want to remain in this position. He didn't want to be a leader. A leader was supposed to encourage and guide… something he would never be able to do. Even as a team leader he had made everyone feel insecure.

"You'll be in charge of the group that will be sent to help settle the final disagreements in Timber, Squall," the headmaster repeated, "Well, your friends here will help you, of course. It'll be a team of fifteen other SeeDs, so I expect you to make good use of them. Remember, technically, Timber still isn't entirely liberated yet and you still have a contract with Miss Heartilly here," he winked.

Rinoa smiled and leapt forward, hugging Squall happily, "I can go see Zone and Watts again, and take you with me!" she cheered.

Irvine whistled, Selphie giggled, Quistis just smiled quietly, and Zell patted him on the back.

"You da man, Squall! All right, comeback!"

(What are you all so happy about? Do you _like_ to get into conflicts such as this? Am I the only one who thinks we've done enough?)

(That's selfish… But I'm tired. I don't want this responsibility. I never did. Now it's the same all over again. What do they expect from me?)

(Do they think if they try hard enough, I'll become another Headmaster Cid? Well, dream on, I say.)

Squall felt his headache pound harder.

_Chapter 3:_

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Ten days had passed since the defeat of Ultimecia. On the very edge of the pier in the city of Balamb, a lonely, young man was sitting, his gray, ragged coat wrapping around his dangling legs. A deep frown was set on his face as he stared at the still water, two strands of blonde hair hanging down his forehead and barely touching his scar.

Seifer Almasy straightened his back and took in a deep breath of the fresh sea air, hoping it would help him clear his mind, but the troubled thoughts remained. For a moment, he felt like whipping out his gunblade and destroy something – maybe an unsuspecting tree, or he could slash this wooden pier in two. But he knew better. The citizens of Balamb were only letting them stay as long as they didn't cause any trouble. At all. And he had nowhere else to go. Esthar hated him, Galbadia hated him, everybody in Garden hated him.

In so little time, he had gone from a failed Garden student to leader of Galbadia, the Sorceress' mighty knight. And what was he now? Nothing.

Quietly, he had actually thanked Squall for putting an end to all of it. Ultimecia had used him, manipulated him, used his dreams against him. He could see that now when she no longer controlled him. But on the way, she had given him so much power. Everybody had looked up to him and feared him, yet now he was more despised than President Deling had been. Seifer wasn't sure if he should thank or hate Squall for what he did anymore. Sure, his rival had saved the world. How nice. And while saving the world, and freeing Seifer of Ultimecia's spell, he had also crushed every hope and dream left in Seifer.

His name would forever be known, but not the way he had expected it to be. It wouldn't be Seifer, powerful leader. It would be Seifer, mind manipulated scum. Maybe it had been better if Squall had killed him. Put an end to all of it.

It could be so easy… Just inch forward, and fall into the dark depths of the water… No struggle… Just float, and then sink… sink, sink, sink…

"Hey, Seifer!" called a familiar voice from behind. Seifer winced, and turned around to glare at the two standing there.

"What? Can't you see I'm busy?"

"Don't look busy to me, ya know. But I've got news. Garden's at it again, ya know?" Raijin started to explain. Seifer blinked and glanced at the silver haired girl next to him.

"AFFIRMATIVE," Fujin stated, "TIMBER. REBELS."

"Garden's sending a big team over there, ya know? And Squall's leading them. Rinoa's with them too, ya know?"

Seifer watched them for a few seconds, then turned away to look back at the water, frowning. Of course Squall was the leader. A sudden pang of jealousy struck through him. Squall this, Squall that. He and his friends were the headlines of every newspaper around here. They were known by the entire world. Now they were going to save Galbadia from self-destruction. And Seifer… People were happy knowing he was as far away from them as possible.

(Damn you, Squall.)

"Seifer, you're awfully quiet, ya know?" Raijin said.

Shaking his head, Seifer waved a hand at them without even looking back, "I don't care what Garden's up to, Raijin. Just… leave me alone."

Shrugging, the male member of Seifer's posse nodded and turned to leave, "All right. I'm goin' back to prepare that fish, ya know."

"SICK," Fujin commented. The water surrounding Balamb was quite polluted, mainly because waste from Galbadia had been driven there by the current. Raijin, however, ignored this fact. Seifer wasn't sure whether he was uncaring or just stupid.

As Raijin stalked away, Fujin remained behind. Seifer waited for a couple of minutes, then he turned to her again, "I thought I said I wanted to be alone?"

"SEIFER," she said softly, and instead of leaving, she slid down into a sitting position next to her friend, "SAD."

"Oh, give me a break, Fujin," Seifer rolled his eyes and stared at the water yet again, "I'm fine."

But Fujin had known Seifer for 4 years, and she could easily tell when he was upset. Then again, who could go through all the disappointment he had and still be unscratched by it? Raijin may have been a bit dense, but contrary to common belief, Fujin was a rather intelligent girl. The injury to her voice just made it difficult for her to speak normally, and the black patch over her left eye did little to improve her already odd appearance. She shook her head, and, hesitantly, put a hand on his shoulder.

"DREAMS. DESTROYED."

Seifer felt something tighten in his throat. He wasn't prepared for this. Having his own thoughts haunting him every minute was one thing, but actually hearing the words from another person…, "To hell with it, Fujin," he growled, getting to his feet, "Don't act like you know what it feels like!"

She only gave him a hurt look, but then she stood up as well and continued, "We followed you, Seifer, because we are a posse…," Fujin whispered, "But what you did was wrong. Your dreams had already been destroyed by the time we left. Destroyed and abused. You wanted to be the Sorceress' knight, not the dreaded enemy of the world."

Shaking his head, Seifer looked away, "It's over, Fujin. There's nothing more to talk about."

Fujin was quiet for a minute after the effort of speaking so many words, but then she rested a hand on Seifer's shoulder again, "HOPE. STILL," she hissed, her single, reddish eye staring into his sea blue eyes.

"Hope?" Seifer snorted, "We're trapped here in this little town where everybody hates us almost as much as the Galbadians. I can't return to Garden and become a SeeD, I can't go anywhere else. There's no damned hope left. All I have left is you two."

Trying badly not to take offense from Seifer's comment, Fujin took in a breath and tightened her grip on his shoulder. Old feelings welled up in her, and she recalled the time Seifer had spent with Rinoa in Timber a year ago. Only to betray the girl one year later. All the time, Fujin had been there, watching, and Seifer had been too blind to notice. Would he always be that way? See her, yet see right through her as if she wasn't there? Despite his arrogance, his mistakes and flaws, his rude personality, despite everything he had done… she and Raijin had stayed with him, and now they were back. Raijin because he needed to follow someone… And Fujin… why was she there?

"Are we really that bad, Seifer…?"

_Chapter 4:_

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Again, he was alone. For a brief moment.

Squall sunk down into one of the chairs in the Timber Hotel room, sighing heavily. They had fought for three days now. Well, not exactly fought, but trying to step in-between the Galbadians and the citizens of Timber. He had been caught off guard by how hostile both parts actually were. None of them trusted anyone, and both were furious by having Garden SeeDs trying to stop them.

(Why do they fight, anyway? Sure, the Timberians just want to be liberated, but who are the Galbadians fighting for? According to our information, they don't have a President… Is there someone… we don't know about? Who? And why keep up with this battle? World domination is getting old…)

The headache returned.

Just this morning, one of the SeeDs in their team had been killed by a Galbadian soldier. Quistis and Irvine had been there, but were unable to reach them in time. The SeeD had been trying to stop the soldier from attacking a middle-aged, female Timber citizen. He hadn't been too happy about it, obviously.

Squall didn't know that particular SeeD very well, but even if the death of one of the students was inevitable and not surprising, he felt responsible. He _was_ responsible, it was his duty as Commander to protect the team the best he could. Taking care of five other comrades was hard enough for a person who didn't know how to comfort or encourage, but twenty? What had the Headmaster been thinking?

Now he had to write a report on what had happened to the SeeD that had fallen. Pulling out a piece of paper and a pen, he decided it was best to get it over with. For a long while, he simply stared at the white surface of the paper, then began to write.

'The Garden student Helen Johnson was attempting to prevent a Galbadian Soldier from harming a Timber citizen, but failed to do so as the soldier…'

(No, that sounds lame.)

He crumpled the paper and threw it in the trash can.

'SeeD Quistis Trepe and SeeD cadet Irvine Kinneas failed to assist Garden student Helen Johnson as the Galbadian soldier…'

(Damn!)

Slamming his fists down at the desk, Squall gritted his teeth at the headache. He had received a blow to the head during battle today, and wasn't sure if the pain was a result of that, or the pressure of his current situation. He buried his face in his arms and closed his eyes, trying to rest for a moment… Maybe it would go away…

Someone opened the door and moved inside the room, but he didn't bother to look up to see who it was.

"Squall?" a soft voice whispered.

Wanting to be left alone, Squall turned and snapped, "What?!"

He found himself staring into the face of a rather surprised and slightly hurt Rinoa. 

Realizing just who he had been snapping at, Squall quickly stood up, "Oh, sorry… I didn't know… I was just…"

The black haired girl smiled and shook her head, "It's okay, Squall. I was just wondering if you'd like some company."

"Uh… I can't. I have to finish this report…"

"Aw, come on," the young Sorceress stepped forward and took his hand, pulling him towards the bed. He tried to resist, but only for a minute, letting her push him down to a sitting position and settle down next to him.

"Edea was right. You _do_ look tired."

"Whatever."

Rinoa sighed, "Just four days ago, you were smiling, Squall. I want to see that smile again. For the first time since I met you, you actually looked _happy_."

Squall didn't reply, he just sat hunched over in his usual manner, watching the wooden floor of the hotel.

Seeing this wasn't getting anywhere, the girl changed the subject, "I just bumped into Zone and Watts at the Forest Fox Chief's house. They told me the Galbadians are starting to pull out."

"They'll be back," Squall mumbled, "I know them. They don't give up that easily."

Rinoa didn't like the tone in Squall's voice. It was too similar to the uncaring tone he had used when she first met him. Frowning, she quietly asked, "Is it about that girl? Helen?"

"What?" Squall blinked, looking at her with mild surprise.

"You feel guilty, don't you? You feel it's your fault and you're locking it up. But you couldn't have done anything to prevent it," she shook her head, "I know you're tired, Squall, so why can't you just admit it?"

A bit dumbfounded by Rinoa's insight in his personality, Squall paused, then shook his head in return, "This is my duty as a SeeD. There's nothing to do about that."

"Squall," Rinoa rose from her seat, placing her hands on her hips, "You are a human being, not a machine. If you can't do this, just tell the Headmaster. He'll understand. There's others who can take this job."

"I'm fine."

"No, you're not. Stop lying to me, and yourself."

"You know, you're almost getting as annoying as you were when I was first assigned to help the Timber Owls."

Rinoa's eyes widened, and she was taken aback by his words.

(Look what you're doing, you idiot. Keep it up, and you WILL lose her.)

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean that."

She slowly let out a trembling breath and sat back down next to him, "I know you didn't… Just… don't be so hostile, Squall. I know you've been through a lot, but you're not alone anymore. I'm here, and so are Quistis, Zell, Irvine and Selphie. You were starting to improve. If you really need to rest, then I'll speak with the Headmaster. The two of us can go back to Garden. Quistis will do fine leading the rest of the battle on her own."

Squall turned his gaze to her, blinking.

(Does she really care more about me than the liberation of Timber? Is that possible?)

She lifted her hand, stroking it against his cheek. He didn't pull away.

"You're going to say no, aren't you?"

"Probably."

"I thought so."

Another few minutes of silence passed by. Rinoa leaned her head against Squall's shoulder, and he slowly let one arm slip around her back. Inwardly, he was thanking whatever higher powers existed for sending this angel to him. With her by his side, knowing she wouldn't leave, he could handle it. Maybe the Galbadians really were pulling out. Why? Well, they'd find out soon enough. For the moment, he just wanted to relax and not think about anything. Just feel Rinoa next to him. Hear her breathe and smell the sweet fragrance of her dark hair.

Hear her voice: "By the way, it's the FOREST Owls."

"Whatever," He said. "Whatever," Rinoa said in unison.

She put a hand over her mouth, giggling. Squall frowned. Sometimes, she was too much like Quistis. Or maybe he was just too predictable. Leaning his head lightly against hers, Squall didn't try to force back the small smile that made its way to his lips.

Chapter 5:

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Most of the fighting had died down as evening faded into night in Timber. The Galbadians had indeed started to retreat, but there were still a few, stubborn ones lingering. It was strange how they would give up on a battle they might very well win, but that was the least of Irvine Kinneas' worries at the moment.

In the grass just outside Timber, the beauty in a short, yellow dress was sitting, her legs curled up in front of her with her arms wrapped around them. The sky was clear and starlit, but the air was chilly and she felt cold. The wind ruffled her brown hair, making it bounce around her shoulders.

Clearing his voice, Irvine straightened his cowboy hat and walked over to her, promptly sitting down in the grass next to her, "Howdy, beauty. How you feelin'?"

"Confused," the usually cheery female replied, huddling up more tightly. Irvine tried to put his arm around her, but she pushed him away, "I saw you looking at those other girls. At the party, in the Garden halls, even here in Timber. Don't you 'howdy, beauty' me."

"Baby, I was only… Sefie, you're the only one I care about," Irvine said awkwardly. Even if it was a cold night, he was sweating.

"We're better off like this," Selphie frowned and looked away, "At least it's a good thing I got to know now, or I might have ended up falling completely for you," she paused, breathing.

For the first time, Irvine couldn't quite come up with anything to say. Despite all the girls he had seduced, he had a hard time coming up with something proper to tell Selphie. And for the first time, he actually cared that a girl was upset with him. He didn't want to just turn around and find another chick.

"Why can't you… why can't _we_ be like Squall and Rinoa? Did you see them at the party?" she looked at him, her dark green eyes filled with tears, "I can't believe it! He _kissed_ her, and all YOU do is run around looking at other girls – and you still say you care about me!"

"Selphie, I didn't even know you cared about me that way!" Irvine protested, "You're a pretty girl. You know me, I make moves on _all_ pretty girls. But you're the only one that I could … That I… Look, I've known you since we were little kids. And unlike the others, we haven't forgotten the majority of our childhood yet, because we haven't used GFs so much. You're so cheerful, so spunky… Any guy would love to be your boyfriend. You didn't seem to notice me, though, so I just guessed you weren't interested," he shrugged.

Selphie wiped away her tears and watched him with new curiosity.

"I didn't know… before you shouted at me when I looked at that Timber girl. Hey, it's been a rough day… We've lost that SeeD member, and everything. Don't judge me too hard… please?" he met her gaze, his blue eyes sad. It was rare to see this side of Irvine – Selphie had no idea that the handsome, charming ladies' man was so sincere and sensitive deep inside.

"I didn't know either… about you," Selphie said quietly, sniffing. She was still shuddering, and allowed Irvine to take off his coat and wrap it around her shoulders.

"I might look at other girls, but it's only you I care about, Sefie… You're very pretty, but it's your wonderful personality that makes me want to be with you. I don't care about the others. They're just eye candy. You're the one that makes me happy," he pulled her close, smiling with satisfaction as she didn't resist. His sweet-talking was obviously working, but the sincerity hadn't left his voice.

"It's… all coming to an end, Irvine. When this is over with, we won't have to risk out lives every day anymore like we did before… I… I want to… settle down…," Selphie whispered, looking up at him carefully, "I know we're only 17, but I need to feel secure… I only have my friends… My old home as I knew it is gone, and I haven't got time to settle down properly in Balamb yet… Could you do that for me? Could you help me feel secure?"

He didn't reply. Instead, he watched her thoughtfully and quietly for a long while, before asking, "You were afraid too, weren't you?"

"Huh?"

"During the fight… All the Sorceresses, the Galbadians… You always smiled, you always were optimistic, you were cheering even when all the others felt there was no hope left. But you were scared too, no?"

Selphie hesitated for a few seconds, then she nodded, "Yeah, I was… I was so scared we'd all die and that Ultimecia would destroy the world. But I couldn't let it get to me, you know? If you think too much, you'll only end up sad. So I kept trying to see things on the bright side and cheer you guys up," she smiled softly, "And look, it turned out all right, didn't it?"

Irvine grinned, "Yeah, it seems like it. Even the Galbadians are leaving Timber now. Guess you'll have plenty of time to add a 'Sir Irvine' page to the Garden system now," he winked.

The girl giggled and slapped his chest, "Silly you! You're no 'Sir'!"

"I'm more of a Sir than Laguna is."

"Are not!"

"Am too."

"Are not!"

Suddenly, Irvine interrupted Selphie's protests by quickly lowering his head and pressing his lips to hers. Selphie's eyes widened, but then closed as she returned the kiss, folding her arms around Irvine's neck. And even if she was still cold, she felt a new and unexpected warmth spread inside her body.

As the two of them pulled apart, Irvine looked down tenderly at the girl in his arms. Selphie couldn't stop staring at his handsome face framed by reddish locks of hair; and the way his dark blue eyes sparkled in the dim light of the moon.

"I'll make you feel secure, Selphie. Just trust me. I will."

Quistis and Zell were taking a final walk through the town to ensure everything was in order. They had managed to calm down the worst fight during the day, and as most of the soldiers had left by now, they didn't really expect to find anything.

Finally, as they reached the edge of the town, Quistis stopped and leaned against the wall of a house. Zell looked around, then shook his head.

"Man, I didn't think it'd be that easy! One second, we're all surrounded by Galbadian scum, and the next – POOF, they're all gone!"

"It could be a trick," Quistis reminded him.

Zell shrugged, "Yeah, I know… But still. Guess them Galbadians are still confused after Ultimecia's defeat. Heh."

Quistis sighed lightly and smiled, shaking her head, "If we're lucky, maybe this is the end of this mission. We didn't even get paid for this. …But knowing Galbadia, this isn't the last fight they'll go through with."

"Hell, they should give us a break. It's not like we haven't fought for world peace plenty already. And this is boring," Zell stepped backwards and leaned his back against the wall next to Quistis, "Never thought I'd say it, but I miss Garden."

The blonde woman gave a short laugh, crossing her arms beneath her chest, "Me too."

"I wonder how Bella is doing," the boy mused, glancing up at the sky.

Quistis shot him a curious look, "…Bella?"

"Uh… Did I say Bella? I meant… oh… uh… nothing," Zell felt himself start to blush furiously, much to Quistis' amusement.

"Who's Bella?"

"No one! I mean… no one… important…"

"Oh, come on, Zell, you can tell me," she giggled, "It's me, remember!"

"Well… all right," Zell looked at the ground, "You remember that girl… in the Garden library? You know, the one who's always got her hair in a pigtail… Well, I talked a lot with her during the party, and… we kinda…"

Quistis' giggling rapidly turned into laughter, "Oh my! Are you telling me that you, Zell Dincht, are in love?!"

"Yeah, just shout louder, will ya! I don't think President Laguna heard you over in Esthar!" Zell threw his arms up and pushed away from the wall, grunting.

"Sorry," Quistis giggled, "…It's just so hard… to imagine you in that situation."

The boy made a motion to say something nasty in return, but he didn't get the chance. A high pitched scream was heard from deeper within the town. The two SeeDs looked at each other, then both of them turned and ran in the direction of the sound.

The exact same thought went through their minds:

(Rinoa!)


	2. Chapters 06 - 10

Chapter 6:

_ _

_ _

People had started to emerge from buildings because of the scream and several of the other SeeDs were gathered outside the hotel as Quistis and Zell arrived. They found Selphie and Irvine within the crowd.

Zell stopped in front of them, hands on his knees as he panted, "What the hell is goin' on?!"

Irvine shook his head, "I don't know. We just got here too."

Another scream pierced the confused commotion, followed closely by the sound of gunfire. Quistis was quick to take action, "Zell! Selphie! Irvine! Follow me!"

The three SeeDs and the SeeD cadet ran into the hotel and leapt right over the bar that was supposed to keep intruders away from the rooms. They headed straight to the source of the disturbing sounds – Squall's room.

They could clearly hear there was a fight going on, but it was impossible to know who was winning, or who was attacking. Selphie pulled at the handle of the door, only to find herself unable to get in, "It's locked!"

"Here, let me try," Irvine offered. He stepped forward and started ramming his side into the door to brake it open. Zell went over to help.

Selphie and Quistis stood behind and watched, the latter holding a hand nervously on her chain whip, her eyes frightened, "I just hope we won't be too late…"

The hotel room was a total mess. Broken furniture laid spread everywhere, accompanied by a couple of dead bodies. Rinoa stood in a corner, watching the scene with wide eyes, shivering. There wasn't much she could do – she didn't even have her weapon. She wasn't prepared for this. In one minute, she and Squall had been sitting on the bad, chatting quietly – and the next, six Galbadian soldiers had barged through the window and attacked them.

Squall had immediately whipped out his gunblade to defend himself and Rinoa. Considering his skill, the soldiers shouldn't be much of a challenge to him, but it was difficult for one man to take on six soldiers at the same time.

Two had already fallen, but there was still three left, and he could only concentrate at one at the time. He fought the best he could, teeth gritted, hands firmly holding the gunblade, sweat dripping from his forehead. He barely had time to think, but in the back of his mind he wondered just where these soldiers had come from, and why they were attacking them. Vaguely, he noticed the dull thumping on the door of someone trying to brake in.

(What the hell…)

"Squall, look out!"

Just as he delivered a fatal blow to the Galbadian in front of him, he heard Rinoa's warning, but it was too late. A soldier took aim and shot him from behind, the bullets tearing into the skin of Squall's arm. Wincing in pain, the boy fell to his knees, blood matting his black leather jacket.

(…Cure spell… Do I have time? Can't fight well… in this condition…)

He felt a strange, prickling sensation at the back of his neck, and he swept around just in time to block the attack of a soldier's sword. He forced the soldier off balance, and used the time gained to slash at his stomach, trying to ignore the throbbing pain in his arm.

Yet another soldier was approaching Squall, but was rudely interrupted as a small mountain of ice suddenly shot up through the floor.

"BLIZZARA!" Rinoa cried, her arms stretched out in front of her.

(Does she have a GF junctioned? …Oh, her sorcery… I forgot… I guess she did, too…)

The impact of the spell didn't kill the soldier, but it gave Squall time to cure himself and get to his feet. It seemed like he was winning the fight, when he yet again was interrupted by Rinoa's voice.

"Squall!"

The last soldier was heading towards Rinoa, ready to attack with his sword. He was too close, and she wouldn't have time to cast a spell. Squall left the one he had been fighting with badly injured on the floor and hurried towards them.

(Must reach Rinoa… before him. Can't let him get her…)

Still dazed from his various injuries and with only one thing at his mind, Squall leapt forward to cut off the soldier's attack. It was as if the whole scene went in slow motion. He felt himself in body contact with the soldier. Both lost their balance and fell to the floor. Somewhere in the background, the door was finally broken and his four friends arrived – he could hear Selphie's shocked cry, but faintly. It was all a blur. He heard Rinoa scream, but didn't have time to figure out why, as the soldier flipped around and pinned him to the floor. Somehow, he had lost his gunblade in the process, and felt the sword press up against his throat. Squall stared into the angry face of the soldier, and he could see Rinoa out of the corner of his eye, looking terrified.

(Rinoa…)

Two gunshots were heard. The soldier's expression changed to a pained one – he tensed, still holding the sword dangerously close to certain death for Squall… then he dropped heavily on top of him.

Disgusted, Squall pushed the body and sword off himself, then closed his eyes and remained lying on the floor, breathing heavily.

"Squall!" Rinoa quickly kneeled next to him. 

The four others came running over, Irvine putting away his shotgun, Quistis bending down by his other side, "Squall, are you all right?"

"I've been better," he muttered, blinking his eyes open again and getting up to a sitting position with the two females' help.

Quistis was examining the bullet wounds on his right arm, "These are pretty bad. You should have Doctor Kadowaki take a look at them."

Squall just groaned, and Rinoa wrapped her arms around his neck gently in a hug, "I'm so glad you're all right… I was so scared…"

Zell looked around, "Man, what a mess! It looks like a herd of Grendels had a party in here!"

Selphie paced about, glancing at the fallen soldiers, "Hey, I think this one is still alive!"

Irvine and Zell moved over, and Zell grabbed the soldier by his collar, "Why the hell you comin' in here attackin' our Commander?!"

The soldier winced and coughed up blood, his voice hoarse, "They told us… to get out… the new.. presi..," he coughed again, and Zell glanced at the others. This one wasn't going to last for long.

Zell shook him and hissed, "Come on, spit it out!"

"…We… resisted… Timber… should be… Galbadian property… we seek revenge… for our friends… who were killed…," his eyes widened slightly and he stared up at Zell, "…by you… bastards…"

Zell snorted and dropped the body to the ground, "Irvine, finish him."

Selphie turned away and held her hands over her ears as Irvine pulled out his gun again and ended the soldier's pain.

Squall had staggered to his feet and was making his way over to them, a bit stunned by how cold-hearted Zell and Irvine just had been towards the soldier. He could picture himself doing that, but Zell… He shook his head and put a hand to his forehead, "This is… strange…"

Quistis sighed and Rinoa looked at the floor, "I guess… you were right, Squall… They wouldn't give up that easily, just like you said."

Irvine frowned, "Seems like this gang acted on their own, though. Who's this President who doesn't want to take control of Timber?"

Just at that moment, one of the other SeeDs came running into the room, "Sir, I have a mess-Oh! …Did something… happen… in here?"

Squall turned and glared at him, "What makes you think something _happened_? What gave it away? The corpses?"

"Squall!" Rinoa hissed.

"Sorry, Sir…," the young SeeD swallowed, clearly uncomfortable, "I saw the big crowd outside and… Well, anyway, Sir, I have a message from Headmaster Cid," he stepped forward and handed the paper to Squall, then fled the room.

Squall's eyes narrowed as he read the note. The others stepped over to him.

"What is it?" Quistis asked.

"The Headmaster wants us to return to Garden by tomorrow morning. Timber is no longer in danger and he has important news."

"WOO-HOO! We're going back!" Selphie cheered, jumping up and down.

"Guess it's about the new President," Irvine said, shrugging.

"Anyway, I think we could all need some rest… It's been a long night," the others nodded at Squall's suggestion.

Squall took a brief glance around and sighed, "I think I need a new room."

Chapter 7:

_ _

_ _

10:30 AM the following morning, the six friends were gathered in Headmaster Cid's office. They had taken the train by dawn and rented a car in Balamb, as the Garden was parked at its original location again.

All of them seemed tired, but content with the job they had done in Timber. Squall wasn't wearing his black jacket, for once, but was only in his white t-shirt. His right arm was bandaged. The cure spell had eased most of the pain and stopped the bleeding, but Doctor Kadowaki had to remove the bullets and clean the wounds to avoid an infection, which had slightly delayed the meeting with the Headmaster.

Cid paced back and forth in front of them, a thoughtful look on his face, then he finally turned to face them, "SeeDs! And Rinoa… You all did a wonderful job during this mission, and I expected nothing less from you. Although we lost a member, we managed to prevent destruction of Timber and a great loss of innocent citizens," he paused and rubbed his chin, considering his next words, "Now, I have received interesting news… The reason the soldiers retreated from Timber so soon was because they were ordered to do so. By the new President of Galbadia."

"Not another freak like Deling, Sir?" Zell asked, sounding a little nervous.

Cid shook his head, "No. In fact, I think you'll find the name quite familiar… He's the one who hired you for the Sorceress assassination. General… I mean - President Phillip Caraway."

Irvine, Quistis, and Selphie looked equally shocked. Rinoa gasped, and Zell exclaimed, "Aw, damn!"

Only Squall remained as expressionless as ever.

"He's the _President_?!" Rinoa asked, her surprise turning into frustration.

"Apparently," Cid nodded, "And now Galbadia is at the brink of civil war. President Caraway claims he wants to settle peace, which is why he took the forces out of Timber, and half of the population are with him. The other half, however, believes it is Galbadia's right to rule the entire continent, and are still living with Deling's dreams of taking over Timber and Dollet. These are led by a group of rebels, whose names are currently unknown."

Rinoa seemed disgusted by the whole idea, "He's just trying to get on good terms with me again."

"Hey, wasn't he the one who led the war against Timber in the first place?" Irvine was doubtful.

"Not quite," the Headmaster explained, "He only followed President Deling's orders back then. I truly believe that Caraway will make a better President than Deling, but we can never be sure. That country is full of corruption and lies. However… a civil war will probably mean plenty of missions and gil for Garden, both which we sorely need at this point."

"That's good!" Selphie agreed, "We'll do great. Our members were really good down there in Timber, not just us, Sir."

"I'm aware of that. Still, they will need you as leaders," Cid paused, seeing the disappointment in their faces, despite their efforts to hide it, "…But not just yet. You really do deserve some time to relax. The entire Garden has been through a lot, and it will take some time for Galbadia to settle things properly. They won't need us for a little while yet."

Quistis sighed with relief, "Thank you, Sir. We could all need it," she admitted.

Rinoa still looked displeased, though, "I have to go feed Angelo," she muttered.

Cid blinked at that, but shrugged it off, "All right. That will be all for now. You are dismissed."

The five SeeD students saluted, while Rinoa simply turned and left. As they were walking out of the office, Headmaster Cid turned to them again, "Oh, Squall… I need to talk with you for a minute."

Zell and Quistis looked curiously at each other, then at Squall, before following the others to the elevator. Squall lingered behind and walked back to the Headmaster, "Yes, Sir?"

Cid chewed at his lower lip, heading back to his desk and sitting down into his chair, "We received a message from President Loire this morning… It appears he and the girl, Ellone, want to visit Garden."

Squall frowned lightly, "Visit Garden? Did he tell you why, Sir?"

"Well, officially, they are taking a vacation to celebrate Ellone's 22nd birthday. Things are finally calming down in Esthar. They have gotten rid of Lunatic Pandora again and have managed to drive most of the monsters out of the city. The President claims he needs a break. But… he wanted to see you in particular, Squall. He asked me to ensure you were here when he visited."

(Laguna… that moron… What does he want with me? Maybe he wants me to see Sis… Probably. But she's not a part of my life anymore. She left me back then… It's too late, even if it wasn't her fault.)

Squall shrugged, "I'll be around. When are they visiting?"

"As soon as possible. I will send them a message and tell them they may arrive whenever suits them best," Cid replied.

"Yes, Sir. Is there anything else?"

"No, Squall. You are dismissed. Go get some rest."

Squall nodded and turned, walking out. But something was troubling him… Ever since he first met Laguna in Esthar, he had this strange feeling there was something more… Something he didn't know about, that he had failed to see during his flashbacks to the past.

He shook his head. It didn't matter. Knowing Laguna, the visit would most likely not involve anything important.

Chapter 8:

_ _

_ _

After getting a few hours of sleep, Squall decided to take a walk down to the Quad.

Well, not exactly. Zell had told him he had seen Rinoa go in that direction.

And there she was, sitting by the trunk of one of the large trees, facing away from the various other students present. Even Squall had been able to figure out she was upset because of what Cid had told them – he would have to be pretty dumb to NOT notice. But nobody had expected him to try to comfort the girl, which was what he was about to do. Perhaps the change was going slowly, but there was no doubt Squall really HAD changed.

Putting his hands in his pockets, he took in a short breath, then stepped over to her, "Hey."

A bit startled, Rinoa glanced up at him, her surprised, brown eyes relaxing as she saw who it was, "Hey…"

Squall watched her for a few seconds, then sat down next to her, "Are you okay?"

"I guess so…," Rinoa sighed and looked down, "It's just… I'm not ready to… deal with him again."

"I understand. Even if I never had parents," he shrugged, "…But… maybe he has changed his mind. He's liberating Timber, you know."

"I _know_. But I didn't WANT him to liberate Timber. Not like this. I wanted us to succeed in our own way," she shook her head, "This won't change all the pain he put me and my mother through. It won't change everything he did against Timber before."

"Hey, I know that, Rinoa… Yet, he IS your father. Maybe you should try and talk with him," Squall tilted his head, looking at her. He felt awkward saying this, but it was the least he could do. At least he'd have to try, "You can't deny blood relation. And you can't go around letting this bother you for the rest of your life."

She seemed to consider this, then sighed, "Perhaps you're right… I'm just too stubborn," she gave him a sideways glance, smiling faintly, "You know, I hadn't thought I'd hear a thing like that coming from you."

(Here we go again…)

(I must really have been bad when everybody keeps getting so surprised every time I show that I care…)

"Yeah, whatever. Neither had I."

"You don't have to get so offended," Rinoa giggled a little and inched closer to him, "You really did make me feel better. Thank you."

Squall smirked at her, "Want to go get something to eat? Zell has probably left the cafeteria out of stock on hotdogs, though."

Slipping her hand into his, she narrowed her eyes lightly and smiled, "I'd love to."

Hand in hand, the young couple left the Quad, leaving several other students looking after them with puzzled expressions on their faces.

"Was that really Commander Leonhart?"

"And was he _smiling_?"

Later that night, Rinoa and Squall were standing outside her dorm room. It was only a little past 10 PM, but the halls were silent. Curfew began at 10, and the Garden's strict rules demanded that everyone were either in their rooms, or at the Training Center at this hour.

Rinoa smiled at him, then leaned her head back and stared up at the ceiling, "This is so wonderful! Finally – _finally_, we can just relax for a while. No missions, no fighting, no blood, no Sorceresses… except me," she giggled. Squall was glad she was so at ease with the subject of having the power of three Sorceresses within her. He only hoped she truly was as used to it as she seemed. He couldn't even begin to imagine the pressure of such a role. But then again, in Garden, where she was with friends, no one feared her or even thought about that fact.

"How's your arm?" she lightly touched the bandage.

Squall shrugged, "I've had worse. I'm fine."

"You know…," Rinoa said slowly, letting her hand slide down to hold his hand, and lifting her second hand to hold his other, "…I never thanked you for saving my life yesterday… again."

"I only did what I wanted to do. It's no big deal," he replied, playfully. Rinoa grinned.

There were a few seconds of silence as the two of them looked into each others' eyes, steel blue meeting warm brown.

"I never thanked you for saving me, either…," Squall whispered.

"Saving you?"

"The time compression… When I was lost…," he sighed and closed his eyes at the painful memory, "I… kept seeing your face, but it didn't come clear. I called out your name… but you didn't hear me. So exhausted… I was about to give up… everything went black…"

Rinoa suddenly looked worried as she saw Squall's expression. She moved closer to him, "Squall…"

"No, I want to say this. If I wait, I'll probably chicken out," he opened his eyes again, looking at her, "I was sure I was lost… and I passed out. But you were there. You were there for _me_, when I had lost all hope, all faith, even in myself. You found me."

"I kept my promise," Rinoa released one of his hands, lifting her arm and stroking a single finger down the scar between his eyes, "I came, and I found you. But you found me, too. I could hear you calling out for me. In my heart. I just followed my heart."

Squall let out a slow breath and smiled lightly, then placed his hands around her neck, and lowered his head to kiss her. It felt just as overwhelming as last time, but none of them were so shy this time, and they huddled close together. Rinoa put one arm around his waist, the other on his shoulder. Never before had she felt so happy, so free, so safe and so loved.

Leaning his forehead against hers, he gazed into her eyes again. Her expression was filled with passion.

(God, I love her.)

"I've… never felt this way before…," he breathed.

"It's okay… Don't be scared," Rinoa sounded equally unsure, but was probably more sure of what she wanted than she seven realized, "Come…" she opened the door to her room. Angelo barked a greeting, but Rinoa hushed the dog.

Squall hesitated, but not for long. He let her pull him inside, "This is against Garden regulations."

"I'm sure they can make an exception for the guy who saved the universe… don't you think?" she placed another, soft kiss on his lips.

"Whatever," Squall muttered, returning the kiss as he closed the door behind him.

_Chapter 9:_

_ _

_ _

He woke to the sound of birds chirping outside his window. Strange. The light was… different, somehow. It took a few seconds before he realized this wasn't his window at all, much less his _room_.

Eyes went wide open and he sat up in bed, pulling the white sheets closer. He blinked and glanced down at the black haired girl who was still peacefully asleep next to him. The memories came back to him very quickly. No GF could erase such a thing.

(Oh. My. God.)

(Take a deep breath… I'm okay. I wanted this, right?)

(Do you realize what you've done?)

(Oh God…)

On second thought, though, he figured out he didn't really regret it. What time was it, anyway? 9 AM? That's late. Maybe he should wake Rinoa… No. He needed to fix something first. At the moment, he wasn't wearing anything but the bandage on his arm.

… … …

She woke by the sensation of someone's lips pressing against her shoulder. _His_ lips. Smiling with satisfaction, she rolled over and opened her eyes, recalling last night. He was smiling, too, but it was an awkward and somewhat ashamed smile. He looked like a child caught doing something bad, trying to get out of trouble by being cute. Giggling at the sight, she reached up to fold her arms around his neck, "Morning, handsome."

"Good morning, beauty," he replied, half-heartedly offering her a quick kiss. It didn't feel right. This wasn't him. This was some odd, twisted version of Irvine.

But still, it had felt so… liberating. All his feelings for Rinoa released in what he had always seen as degrading and disgusting. And it had turned out to be so beautiful.

My God, what were they going to say if they found out? Squall, the strong leader. The taciturn hero and savior of the universe, giving in to pure lust? No, not lust. Love. It was love.

They wouldn't find out. They couldn't. For the sake of his sanity – No.

Rinoa saw his expression change and waved a hand in front of his face, "For a moment there, I was wondering if you were the same Squall Leonhart I met at the party that night. But now I see you are. What's on your mind?"

He frowned slightly, "Nothing… Nothing… I was just… thinking…"

The girl smiled, "You know, I love this new side of you I discovered tonight… I hope you're going to show it more often."

"Whatever."

Sighing lightly, she nodded, "I see you're fully dressed already. I should do the same." … "Uh… could you turn around, please? It's kind of… daylight… now…"

"Oh! Sure," he quickly turned and sat on the other side of the bed, combing his messy hair with his fingers and wondering if he should sneak back to his own dorm and take a shower.

(What the hell is going on with me…? Yeah, I have changed, all right. A little too much for my liking, in fact.)

As Rinoa pulled on her dress, she was lost in her own world of thoughts. Squall loved her, she didn't doubt that. Even if he hadn't actually said the words yet, all his actions… (not to mention this night) … had shown how much he cared about her. She only wished she could understand him better. It seemed like she was the only one who could make him open up. The words he had said in the hall… Could he ever even tell his friends that he cared about them too? Or tell them when he was scared, or angry? Or sad? Straight out? Ever? She doubted it. At least, she hoped he'd find the courage to say the words to _her_ someday…

She knew Ellone had left him when he was a child, but she couldn't see how this had removed all faith in other people from his young heart. Even after her mother's death and after she broke all bonds with her father, she still kept the ability to trust others. Why was this different with Squall? She guessed it was the difference in their personality. They were as opposite as they could be, and she feared this would cause them to have many arguments in the future, but she also knew it would be what kept them together. Always. Hopefully.

_[If you come here, you'll find me. I promise.]_

_ _

Sighing yet again, she went to the bathroom to brush her teeth.

But she only got to the doorway, as the intercom suddenly spoke up:

"Good morning, everyone. This is Headmaster Cid. I have a message to Commander Squall Leonhart."

_ _

Rinoa glanced at Squall. He was visibly tensing.

"President Laguna Loire and Ellone have arrived with the Rangarok 30 minutes ago. We tried to alert the Commander, but failed to find him. Squall, why aren't you in your dorm room?"

The boy swallowed, standing up quickly.

(Oh, damn.)

Rinoa gritted her teeth lightly, "Um… I guess we should go see them, huh?"

Squall put one hand to his forehead and frowned deeply, "Yeah, I guess…"

… … …

"Hey, there they are!" Selphie called and pointed to the left of the main hall. And indeed, two rather tired looking teenagers were making their way towards the small crowd by the front of the stairs. Everyone was there: Zell, Quistis, Irvine, Selphie, Cid, Edea, Laguna and Ellone. All eyes were on Squall and Rinoa.

"Where have you guys BEEN?!" Zell exclaimed.

"I think I know where they've been…," Irvine said smugly. Selphie giggled. Laguna and Cid raised their eyebrows. Edea held a hand to her mouth and Quistis looked away, while Zell was just staring. Ellone didn't do anything.

Rinoa buried her face in her hands.

"Look, Squall's blushing!" Selphie announced, and the two boys behind her grinned.

"All right Squall!"

Squall clenched his fists and narrowed his eyes, "Can we PLEASE get to the point?!?" he snapped, turning to the President and the girl who used to be his 'Sis', "Why do you want to see me? I thought you were doing fine in Esthar."

"Ah. Oh," Laguna cleared his voice, "We… wanted to visit… because…," he bit his lip and glanced at Ellone. She nodded.

"There's something I need to tell you, Squall…," she said, "Please. Is there anywhere we can go to… talk? In private?"

Squall looked reluctant.

(What does she want? If it's about what happened 12 years ago… I'm through with that. It's over. There's nothing to do about it.)

He shrugged, "Sure. Let's go to the training center. There's no danger as long as we keep away from the t-rexaurs."

Ellone nodded and stepped towards him, "Lead the way."

A rather confused crowd was left behind as the two of them left for the training center.

"What was that all about?" Zell asked.

Quistis frowned, "No clue."

Headmaster Cid turned to Laguna, "Well, President Loire, I do hope you will enjoy your stay. It is a pleasure to have you as our guest, after everything you did to help us during the Sorceress battle."

Laguna shrugged, as tactless as ever, "Thanks, Headmaster," he looked at the others and smiled, "Hey, you kids, we've got a lot to catch up on. Haven't talked in a while, you know? How about having breakfast together?"

"Sure thing, Sir Laguna!" Selphie squealed.

The others nodded in agreement. Rinoa was oddly quiet.

As Laguna and the five teenagers walked away, Edea stepped over to her husband, "They've grown up so fast, dear… And falling in love… Have you seen Irvine and Selphie? And the expression on Zell's face when he's around that girl in the library?"

"And Squall's absence from his dorm room?" Cid snorted, "If my assumptions are correct, that is certainly no way for a high ranking SeeD to behave."

"Oh, come on," Edea smiled and curled her arm around his, "As long as he's smiling, I don't care what rules he is breaking… He's getting better, Cid."

"I guess you're right, dear," the headmaster sighed, "As always. I won't interfere."

Edea just kept smiling and placed a kiss on his cheek.

Chapter 10:

_ _

_ _

After killing off a few grats, Squall had finally led Ellone all the way to the so-called 'secret area'. He hadn't been there since the night Quistis brought him there, but he was sure that at this time of the day, no one would be there.

Ellone's eyes went wide at the wonderful view of the Garden center and the sky above through the ceiling window, "Squall, this place is beautiful!"

He just shrugged, "Yeah. Happy birthday, by the way."

"You remembered!" she turned to him, smiling warmly.

"Not really. Cid reminded me yesterday."

"Oh."

"How come Laguna can just run off and visit Garden when he's got a whole country to rule, anyway?" Squall frowned and leaned his arms on the edge of the short, fence-like wall.

"Kiros and Ward are taking good care of everything. It's all right," Ellone reassured. When she got no reply, but could sense the impatience build up in Squall, she realized she'd better get on with the important subject.

For a long while, she wondered how exactly to break the news to him. How would he react? Laguna was right, though – it was probably better if she was the one to tell him. He would have messed it up a lot more.

"Squall… I know you've probably lost all trust in me…"

"It doesn't matter. You did what you had to do. Just forget it," his words were painfully cold.

Ellone took in a breath, "That's not why we're here today, though… There is something… you need to know. You have the right to know."

Still not seeming interested, Squall turned his back to her completely and stared across Garden, "What?"

"Do you remember… the baby I told you about? When I sent you into the past while I was asleep and couldn't disconnect? Raine's baby?"

He seemed to think for a moment, before shrugging again, "Vaguely. Why?"

"Kiros told me; he and Ward had said something to you on the ship… Do you remember that?"

Now he was hesitating.

_[Ward says: It's a good thing you don't look like your father.]_

_ _

_[You look like your mother, actually.]_

_ _

(I didn't have time to think about it then… I put the subject aside.)

(How the heck could they have known?)

"Do you ever wonder… about your parents, Squall?" Ellone continued, without waiting for a reply. She sounded nervous.

Suddenly, he felt a cold sensation running down his spine, and Ellone could actually see his face turn a shade paler. She feared he was going to stop breathing, or faint.

(…Is she saying… what I… think… she is…?)

(No… No…)

"Are you… Am I… Is he…?" he bit his lip. Hard. His grip on the fence's edge tightened.

"Squall…," the young woman placed a hand on his shoulder.

He hated it when they did that.

Except when Rinoa did it.

"Laguna is your father."

Then it snapped.

(No. NO, God dammit! I don't want to know this! I don't want to hear this! I don't need this – my life is messed up enough already!)

"Squall…?"

He was shaking, his eyes had a deadly expression of deep anger and confusion. All he could think was:

(Why, why, why, why, why…?)

(How?)

(…no… I refuse. I don't have parents. I never had parents.)

"My parents are dead," he stated, firmly, still avoiding her gaze.

"But it's true, Squall. Raine died just a couple of days after giving birth to you. She named you. She gave you… she gave you that necklace. It was hers," Ellone reached out with a hand to his chest, grabbing at the silver Griever head, "Then, you and I were sent to the orphanage."

Squall pulled away from her, "Then how come my name isn't Loire, huh? It's Squall Leonhart, not Loire."

It was a very weak argument, but it was the best thing he could come up with. The only thing. Who was he to say if it was true or not? He hardly remembered anything about his childhood at all.

"Raine Leonhart," Ellone spoke softly, "It was her maiden name… I guess… giving you her last name was her way to get back at Laguna… for not being there when she died…"

(No… This can't be happening…)

"Squall, talk with him," she put her hand over his own, gloved one, "Talk with him. He hurts so badly over this, and he needs to know that you know. He needs to know how you feel. And _you_ need to know how you feel."

"Don't tell me what to do!" Again, he pulled away, whipping his arm away from her hand so fast it almost looked like he was going to hit her. Ellone jumped back in shock.

Squall turned around, staring at the wall harshly… His voice sounded unfamiliar as he spoke again… alien…, "So… he knows, huh?"

"…Y-yes…," Ellone stammered.

(What are you doing?)

(You can't lock this up. It's too much.)

(Yes, I can. I don't need anyone.)

(You need Rinoa.)

(I don't need a moronic father. I don't need Sis. I care about her, but she's a part of my past. I don't need to tell him what I feel.)

(Then why are you planning to do it?)

(To … make him hurt.)

(To get back at him?)

(Exactly.)

(Why?)

(……)

"I'll talk with him, all right," Squall spat. He glanced at Ellone quickly, his face free of emotion, then he walked away.


	3. Chapters 11 - 15

Chapter 11:

_ _

_ _

It was near noon that Laguna took a walk through the Garden's main hall on his own, looking for Ellone. After she and Squall had went to the training center, none of them had been seen since, and of course, Laguna was getting worried about his 'little' girl. The training center was filled with vicious monsters, after all.

The familiar form of a teenager boy dressed in black leather soon came to his attention as Laguna rounded the corner. He sitting on one of the many benches scattered around the Garden's center, his back bent and his arms folded in front of him as always.

Had she told him?

Feeling his leg start to cramp up, Laguna stood still for a minute, trying to calm himself and hoping the kid haven't seen him yet. Then, he gathered all the courage he could muster, and stepped forward.

"Um… Hi."

No reply. Not even a glance in his direction.

"Where's Elle?"

There was a pause, then, quietly: "In her room."

"Oh," Laguna shifted nervously, trying to find words. He was sweating, "…So… did you… talk? …You know… about…"

"We talked," Squall answered, his voice dull and monotone. He almost sounded like some sort of robot who had memorized what to say.

Not liking the way he was acting - more cold than usual - Laguna was tensing up even more. What do you say in this situation? What do you do? He should never have let Kiros and Ward talk him into this.

"Is there anything… you'd like to say? Talk about?"

Squall shrugged, "What's there to talk about?"

(If you think this is going to change anything, you're wrong. I still don't like you, even less than I did before.)

"Well, there must be something you're wondering about. It's not every day that you-"

"How long have you known?"

Laguna was caught off guard, "Huh?"

"You heard me."

One of the questions he had feared the most. It shouldn't come as a surprise that it would be the first question Squall would ask. Laguna took in a deep breath, "Since… a few months after you were born."

Squall's frown seemed to grow even harsher, if possible. A couple of students had stopped and were looking at them, but quickly continued on their way as the young Commander shot them a dangerous glare.

"I… wanted to come get you. You and Elle. But… the memory of Raine… I just couldn't… I had just become President, and had so much more to take care of. I thought you'd be fine with Edea…," he rubbed the back of his head, "…I should have told you before, but the time didn't seem right. I hope-"

(Coward. That's what you are, Laguna. Coward.)

"Save it, Laguna," Squall interrupted. He didn't need any poor excuses.

(Why did this have to happen now? I was just trying to start sorting out my life… I had just begun to trust someone again. Then I find out there is yet another person who has betrayed me. And still they expect me to depend on them? Forgive and forget? They all left, at some point.)

(The only one who didn't ever leave was Rinoa… I wouldn't let her…)

Laguna cleared his voice, and sat down on the bench next to Squall, "Son-"

"DON'T call me that!" the second the President sat down, Squall was on his feet, "Don't pretend you're sorry, or that you could have done anything to change it. You chose me away. It's in the past."

Staring at him in surprise, it took Laguna a few seconds to regain his voice, "Squall, please, hear me out…"

"There's nothing to talk about," the boy shot at him, his expression stiff and unreadable, "I do not have a father."

With that, he walked away, leaving a confused and hurt President and several curious students behind him. He ignored them, all of them.

(Let them stare… See if I care.)

… … …

As he reached the front of the Garden, a blonde girl with glasses, dressed in pink, moved over to him and started walking by his side, "Squall, what are you doing?!"

(Just my luck. Quistis was eavesdropping.)

"Talk to me, Squall!" she stepped in his way, and he almost walked into her. Instead of saying anything, he avoided looking at her and glared in a different direction.

"I can't believe you!" Quistis yelled, "You find out your father is alive, and you just walk away? What kind of reaction is that?!"

(Leave me alone, Quistis, please… Go away.)

"All of us, I mean – _all of us_ have dreamed about having real parents. Wondering every day about who they were, what they were like." - there was deep frustration in her voice - "You know what it's like, you were an orphan too! And now when you get a chance to find an answer to all these questions, you just throw it away?"

"Quistis," Squall said quietly, but firmly as he looked back at her, "I still _am_ an orphan."

She stared at him, then threw her arms up, "Fine! I guess I couldn't expect anything else from you, Squall."

"Whatever."

He watched her as she turned and walked away, relieved the conversation was over, worried the whole Garden would soon know.

Chapter 12:

_ _

_ _

Irvine and Zell had been planning about 10 different comments each to annoy Squall after finding out where he had spent the night, but quickly forgot about them when Quistis told them the news. Even Selphie was quiet as the five friends sat in the shadows near the stage on the Quad. Rinoa was glancing towards the stairs all the time, a very worried expression on her face.

After the short and unpleasant talk with Laguna, Squall had went straight to his dorm room and had been staying there for the last couple of hours. No one quite dared to approach him.

Selphie had seen Edea speaking with Laguna and Ellone in the cafeteria. She couldn't help but feel sorry for poor Sir Laguna – he was almost in tears. Matron had tried to comfort him, but it didn't seem to do much good. Ellone had simply been staring at the surface of the table without saying anything.

"So… what do we do now?" Zell finally broke the silence, looking around at the others.

"Should we do anything?" Quistis frowned, "You should have seen the way Squall treated the President. He deserves to be left alone."

"Hey, come on," Irvine protested, "Can't be easy for Squall either, you know?"

"I think someone should talk with him," Selphie said softly.

Four pairs of expectant eyes turned to the black haired Sorceress.

Rinoa sighed, "Okay, I'll talk with him… Or at least I'll try."

(That's so like Laguna… Waltz in here and say: Hi, I'm your father, and expect me to accept it.)

(Why am I always the last one to know about these things? It's as if I can't control anything anymore.)

(And they judge _me_. As if _I_ was the one to head off and become President of a hidden country instead of taking care of my family.)

(I thought things were getting better. I thought we were done with the mysteries of the past. I thought I could concentrate on the future.)

(You can't predict the future. Obviously, you can't predict the past, either.)

(I feel so… lost…)

He ignored the hesitant knocking on the door.

He ignored it when it turned more firm, too.

"Squall? Squall, it's me… Rinoa."

(…I don't think I can face her right now. Not after last night… and this morning.)

"Let me in, please?" her voice was pleading. Very concerned, he could hear, "Please?"

…… "The door is open."

The handle turned, and in came his blue dressed angel. She found him lying on his bed, but he turned and sat up when he saw her, "Hi… I thought you might need someone to talk with."

He was facing the floor, shrugging in his usual manner, "About what?"

"About your… father," she closed the door, then walked over and sat down next to him. Squall didn't move.

"What's there to say? He left my mother to die and let me and Ellone stay at the orphanage. It doesn't change anything."

"I know it's hard for you to accept… But consider that Laguna might be hurting, too? According to Quistis, you were pretty harsh towards him."

"I didn't create this situation. He'll have to take the consequences of his own actions," he glanced at her, "That's the first thing they teach you in Garden."

"Won't you even talk with him? You don't have to be his friend…," she shook her head, "Just don't be his enemy."

"I don't want to talk with him. I'll be glad when they're both back in Esthar."

Rinoa put a hand on her hip and narrowed her eyes, "_You_ were the one who said you can't deny blood relation."

"That was different. You were raised by your father," Squall stood up and walked over to the window, looking through the white curtains to the world outside, "And you haven't talked with him yet either, have you?"

"…No. Not yet."

"Then don't tell me I should talk with Laguna. You couldn't possibly understand this. You never were an orphan," …judging from his tone, it sounded like Squall was in the process of rebuilding his shell.

"I can't understand if you don't talk with me, if you don't explain," there was an edge of pain in Rinoa's voice, "Where's the Squall I talked with last night? The Squall who looked me in my eyes and told me how he felt? Or was that incident just a mistake? How can you turn your back on me after what happened?"

"Rinoa. Leave me alone for a while. Please," Squall didn't look at her.

She could feel herself choke up, her eyes confused and hurt, "If that's the way you want it…," she turned towards the door, but paused, "I'll return when you're human again."

The door was slammed shut, and there was a cold emptiness left in the room. Squall placed his head against the window and sighed.

Chapter 13:

_ _

_ _

The blue blade of the Lionheart swung through the air and cut through the grat's chest easily and with perfect aim. The trigger was pulled, and the grat instantly died and fell to the ground.

Another grat attacked from behind, attempting to cast its poisonous gas upon the boy with the gunblade. But with the help of a haste spell, Squall was quicker - as he flung around, he threw a Thundaga at the second grat – out of nowhere, a bolt of lightning shot down and hit the greenish colored monster. Its large tentacles lowered for the last time.

"Yo, Squall!"

The boy looked up, strands of his long hair hanging in front of his eyes. Putting away his gunblade, he waited for Zell to reach him.

"So _this_ is where you are," Zell panted as he came to a halt in front of Squall, "Man, I've been looking all over for you!"

(You run too much, Zell.)

Squall only shrugged.

"Do you EVER take a break? This is supposed to be our vacation, you know. It might come to an end before you know, so you'd better relax while you can," Zell straightened again, looking around briefly, then placed his eyes on Squall – For once, the blonde boy seemed oddly solemn, "It's been a week. Big bad Laguna's back in his palace. But you're almost more quiet and asocial than you were a month ago. Can't you just let it go? Rinoa's real upset too, you know."

"Do you have a point, Zell, or did you run all around Garden just to lecture me?"

Zell frowned, but didn't comment, "Yeah. You know that I visited Ma in Balamb yesterday… To introduce her to Bella," he grinned faintly as he said his girlfriend's name, but the smile faded when he saw Squall's uncaring expression, "Ahhh. So. Guess who I saw while I was there!"

Squall shrugged.

"Seifer! And his pathetic posse! Can you believe it?! And the worst part is, the citizens are letting them stay there!"

"So it's true…," Squall mumbled in an indifferent tone.

"What?!" Zell shouted, "You mean you _knew_?"

"The rumors have been spreading quite rapidly lately. I'm surprised you haven't heard."

"And you don't _care_?! That Seifer, that pathetic scum, your worst rival, is walking around the neighboring town with his Hyperion like nothing ever happened?!"

"As long as he doesn't do anything – Not really."

(I have other things to worry about…)

"Man!" was all Zell could say. If had planned to elaborate on that exclamation, he never got the chance.

The intercom always had such perfect timing.

"Squall, Quistis, Zell, Selphie and Irvine, please report to the Headmaster's office. Rinoa, this might concern you too, so I suggest you join us."

_ _

"Vacation ended," Squall said, then promptly walked away.

Zell muttered some words his adopted mother certainly didn't teach him, then followed the other SeeD out of the training center.

"Friends. I hope you have enjoyed your time off-duty, but all good things come to an end, I'm afraid," the Headmaster said as he looked at the gathering of six teenagers once again, "We have just received a request from the President of Galbadia. He wishes to hire our best SeeDs for an important mission. The pay is good – _very_ good, in fact. I can not express well enough how badly we need these gil. Now, as we got rid of the corrupt shumi NORG, we are on our own. Well-paid missions are a necessity for Balamb Garden's survival."

Rinoa looked uncomfortable. The last week had been hard on her – Squall hardly said two words to her (or anyone else, for that matter), and after their painful disagreement, she didn't feel like being the first one to bring up the subject again. But of course, she realized that Squall wasn't going to say anything unless she forced him too. She was also well aware that if she joined this mission Cid was talking about, she would have to face her father.

Part of her wanted to, but deep inside she just wished to avoid him.

"Squall, I hope it won't come as a surprise that I put you in charge of the mission again. You have proved to be an excellent leader, and I can not let this skill go to waste."

(No, of course not.)

Squall's expression remained blank, and he nodded once.

"Quistis, you will be second in command. The five of you, and Rinoa, are chosen to lead this because you simply are the best. The other SeeDs' skills couldn't possibly compare to what you have done. I must stress that this is a _very_ important mission. You can not afford to fail. WE can not afford this to fail."

"President Caraway did not request more than 5 SeeDs, but I am sending two other good SeeDs with you anyway, in case you need backup. You'll recognize them. He did not mention exactly what the mission's goal is, but the basic plot is that you are to stop the rebels from an attack. The President will give you the details upon arrival in Deling."

"The train lines are probably not safe anymore, so Garden will escort you to the beach by the western edge of the continent. There, you will be picked up by one of the President's servants who will take you to Deling City by car. We are leaving tonight already."

Headmaster Cid paused, looking over the six of them again, then nodded, "Until arrival, you are dismissed."

"Yes, Sir!" they saluted in unison. Well, except Rinoa, who just made an awkward attempt at the salute as usual.

Edea, who had been standing by Cid's side all the time, smiled to them, "Take care of yourselves, my children. I want all of you back here safe and sound."

"We'll be fine, Matron!" Selphie said cheerfully.

As they left the office, Rinoa tried to meet Squall's gaze, but he wouldn't look at her.

Inwardly she cursed Laguna for arriving at the time which he did, and feared that she would never see the tender side of Squall again.

Chapter 14:

_ _

_ _

Phillip Caraway was apparently resting comfortably in his chair in the office of the President's residence. But truth was he was lost in deep and troubled thoughts. Being President of Galbadia was not an easy job, especially not during these times of war and disagreements.

Caraway had always been a man of duty, and he followed the moral guidelines of what he believed to be right. The people were tired. He didn't share Deling's dreams of World Domination, and now when it was up to him to decide whether they should fight Timber or not, he decided against it. The only problem was the rebels who still wished to take over the city of Timber. And while more of half the population wanted peace, the rebels had gathered a lot of followers. Many Galbadian soldiers had fallen during the Sorceress battle, and the remaining forces were too weak and too poorly skilled. This was why SeeDs were needed for this particular mission.

"Sir!" a voice came from the door.

Caraway whirled around in his chair to face his secretary, "What is it?"

"Sir, the SeeDs have arrived. Shall I send them to your office?"

The President nodded, "Ah, good. Yes, please, show them in."

As the seven SeeDs stepped into the office, Caraway noticed he recognized five of them. They had been there during the Sorceress assassination in Deling, and their faces were on every newspaper after they had killed Ultimecia. The two others he didn't know, but he guessed they were just backup for the five he had requested.

"I am glad to see you made it," the President spoke and rose from his chair, "So we meet again. I was informed the leader of your group is a Commander Leonhart. I assume that is you?" he glanced at Squall, who was standing in front of the others.

"Yes, Sir."

"Good. Well, let's see. The mission…," Caraway suddenly trailed off as he caught glimpse of something blue by the doorway. He blinked and tried to focus harder, then a look of surprise crossed his face. Slowly, he walked around his desk and stepped forward, "…Rinoa?"

The young Sorceress closed her eyes briefly, then sighed and moved inside, looking at her father with a slightly spiteful expression.

Irvine, Zell, Quistis and Selphie all turned to look at her. Squall just stood still. He didn't need to look to figure out that the info on the mission would have to wait.

"Rinoa, what are _you_ doing here?" The President passed by the SeeDs and walked straight up to his daughter.

"Accompanying my friends on the mission, sir," she murmured, looking at the floor.

"You shouldn't be here," Caraway told her, "This is a dangerous mission. You defied me last time and almost got yourself killed. I will not allow you to get hurt."

"Sir, with all due respect," Zell suddenly spoke up, "Since you saw her last time, she's become a Sorceress. She could probably kill you with one swipe of her hand."

Selphie giggled quietly to herself and Quistis gave Zell a warning look. Squall put a hand to his forehead.

(This is going to be grand… I never should have told her to speak with him.)

Rinoa blushed and seemed to feel severely uncomfortable again. Caraway glared at Zell, "Would you please excuse me for a while, Commander Leonhart? I wish to speak with my daughter… Feel free to make yourselves comfortable. I will return in time to explain the mission."

Squall eventually turned to face the others fully and simply nodded in confirmation.

"No," Rinoa protested silently, "I want to stay here."

"Rinoa…," Quistis stepped over to the slightly younger girl, and placed her hands on her shoulders, "Go speak with your father."

"Quistis…" Rinoa looked into the former instructor's ice blue eyes, then nodded faintly. 

Quistis smiled and gave her a quick hug, then pushed her lightly towards the door, "Go."

Caraway walked out of the room without saying anything else, Rinoa – still somewhat reluctant – following him.

Quistis sighed lightly as she watched them go, "At least she still has a father…," she said softly. There was something in the tone of her voice that Squall didn't like.

President Caraway led Rinoa through several rooms in the large residence. Neither of them said a word. Finally, he opened a door which led to a small, but beautiful balcony. The view of Deling from there was stunning. Small flowers grew in various pots placed neatly on the balcony, for perfect decoration. If her father hadn't been with her, Rinoa would have enjoyed being out there.

"So," Caraway said, leaning his hands on the fence, "A Sorceress, eh? I could never have imagined that…"

Rinoa was leaning her back against the wall, "Just so you know, nothing you say or do can make me come back and live with you. My home is in Garden now. I'll soon be a grown woman and you can't tell me what to do anymore."

Caraway sighed heavily, "I know. I'm not going to force you to do anything," he turned to look at her, "Do you really hate me that much? I know I did wrong against you and Julia, and you don't know how much I regret it. I can see now how wrong I was. But all I ever tried to do was protect you. Even today, I can't stand the thought of my girl being out there, fighting…"

Rinoa couldn't bear to look into his eyes. They were, indeed, filled with pain and regret, but she didn't know how to forgive him, "I'm not your girl. I'm a Sorceress. I'm a fighter. I don't even have your last name anymore."

He shook his head slowly, "I understand if you'll never forgive me, Rinoa… I admit, part of the reason I pulled out the army from Timber so soon was because of you… A last, desperate attempt to make you accept my apology, I guess. But… you should know that nothing is certain when you're in the position I am in now. I don't know when my final day will come. It could be in five years, it could be tomorrow…"

There was a strange edge of fear in his voice that Rinoa couldn't remember ever hearing from him before. Slowly, she let her brown eyes meet his. To her great surprise, it really looked as if he was losing his well-trained self-control. Even if Caraway wasn't as cold and reserved as Squall, it was rare to see him in this state.

"I don't want to die knowing my only child hates me, Rinoa. I don't expect you to forgive me or forget what has happened. All I ask for… is that you accept me back as your father. Please. Even if you don't want to believe it, I did love your mother very much, and I love you too," his lower lip was trembling slightly.

Rinoa watched him silently for a few seconds, then she carefully stepped forward. Tears were welling up in her eyes, despite how hard she tried to hold them in. And when Caraway embraced her and pulled her to his chest in a hug, she didn't try to stop him. Quietly, she let the tears slide down her cheeks. She couldn't forgive him completely, but it was relieving to know that he really did care after all.

"I don't… I don't hate you… Father…"

Chapter 15:

_ _

_ _

"Before I start, SeeDs, you should know that this mission is extremely important for Galbadia's future," President Caraway watched the youths in front of him carefully, "One little mistake, and it could mean a drastic change. Our spies in the rebel group have discovered valuable pieces of information… Finally, we have names to place on the leaders of this group. It appears the rebel leaders are two former Galbadian officers who have gone crazed with Deing's ideas. One of them goes under the nick-name 'Xar', and he is the head of all their plans. His younger brother Lyach is helping him with leading the groups. They must have the ability to easily influence people, as they've managed to gather so many followers…Apparently, they are staying somewhere near the ruins of the old missile base."

"Now," Caraway turned and walked over to his desk, where he rolled out a small map, "Commander Leonhart, Miss Trepe, if you would please join me over here..."

Quistis glanced at Squall, who was already on his way over to the President. Quietly, she followed.

"We have heard the rebels are planning an attack on Deling city, and their goal is – without doubt – to dispose of me. However, we are not entirely sure when and where the attack will happen, only that it will be soon. There are good chances that Xar himself will be joining the attack… Which will give you the perfect opportunity to assassinate him. If we can get rid of him and his brother, it shouldn't be too hard to get the rebel groups under control. My soldiers will place heavy security all around the President's residence, so you don't have to worry about that. You SeeDs are to find Xar and Lyach, and kill them. You five will be divided into two groups… three of you will guard the back of the building, the other two will guard the front," he pointed a finger on the map.

"Sir," Quistis said, "I believe it would be in your best interest if we divided into four groups instead of two. We have two extra SeeDs with us that can guard either the left side or the right."

Caraway narrowed his brows lightly and looked at Quistis, "I doubt they will attack from those directions. It'd be hard to get inside the building there. Bedsides, unless you want one of your members to stand alone, you're one SeeD short."

"I could step in," came Rinoa's voice from the back of the room.

Everybody turned to look at her, even Squall.

"Rinoa…" Caraway began.

"No. That's what I'm here for. I want to help my friends protect you," Rinoa folded her ears under her chest, "I can take care of myself."

Squall turned his gaze to the President and nodded, "If you will allow it, Sir… I have seen her fight much stronger enemies before. She would be a worthy addition."

(She'll be fine… She doesn't need to be treated like a baby.)

(Then how come I worry about her?)

Rinoa, obviously caught by surprise by Squall's words, looked at him and smiled.

Caraway looked utterly displeased, but he nodded and looked back down at the map, "Fine. I trust you to split your team into proper groups, Leonhart. You know them better than I do."

Without commenting, Squall turned back to the others, "Xu, Nida, you will watch the left side. Quistis, Irvine, I want you guarding the back. Zell, you come with me, and Selphie, you and Rinoa have the right side."

"Yes, Sir," the seven of them said. Squall winced at being called 'Sir'.

(I'll never get used to this role…)

Selphie giggled and turned to her friend, "Woo-hoo! You're coming with me, Rinoa!"

The other girl just smiled.

"There are no sightings of the rebels as of yet, so you can use this night to get a good, long rest before the fun begins," Caraway said, "Tomorrow night, you are being placed on your posts. Keep in mind, though, that they might not show up right away."

"So, like… do we know what these guys look like?" Irvine asked.

"I'm afraid we don't have many facts about them," the President frowned, "But we do know that Xar has a missing eye… According to my spies, it's not hard to notice him. It'll be more difficult with Lyach. He could easily blend in with a crowd, so you have to pay careful attention."

"I'll go over the details with Commander Leonhart. You others are dismissed until tomorrow morning when we will go through the final preparations. My secretary will show you to your rooms."

"Yes, Sir," all except Rinoa did the usual SeeD salute, then headed out of the office, while Squall was left behind to speak with Caraway.


	4. Chapters 16 - 20

Chapter 16:

It was just past midnight, and Deling City was cloaked in darkness, only lit up by the numerous street lights.

The two young, male SeeDs were located on a ledge by the front of the President's residence, from which they could view the entire main street. A very empty main street, though. There were several guards, and a citizen or two would occasionally walk by, but otherwise it was dead.

One of the two was leaning against the wall, the other was pacing back and forth impatiently. It was the latter, of course, who spoke first.

"Man, I can't believe this!" Zell exclaimed, "For four days, we've been doing almost nothing else but sit here, and for four days, nothing's happened! I'm bored to death! This is pointless!"

Squall rolled his eyes and didn't reply.

"I mean, we're SeeDs! We're supposed to fight, not just hang around and watch out for enemies who don't exist," the blonde boy continued, "Don't you agree, Squall? We have better things to do, don't we? You should tell that Caraway guy that-"

"Zell," Squall put a hand to his forehead, briefly, then looked at his companion, "I know this is boring. But regardless of whether these rebels show up or not, we'll still get paid. We need the money, and we're hired for a week. Your whining doesn't do any good, so just sit down and shut up."

"Okay, okay!" Zell held his hands up, "Geez, Squall. Touchy!"

Not bothering to say anything else, Squall let himself slide down into a sitting position. He was just as fed up as Zell, only he didn't show it so clearly. Also, he knew the others were getting bored too, but there was nothing to do about it. All they could do was follow orders and wait.

At least he didn't have to face Rinoa at the moment, as she was on another side of the building. After he got to know the truth about his relation to Laguna, he had pulled away from her again, but not so much because of her as it was fear of what she was going to say. Surely, she'd ask him to speak with Laguna, and they'd just end up arguing again. The President of Esthar was one person Squall would rather stay as far away as possible from. Okay, so he did miss Ellone. It had been good to see her again, but he didn't need her the way he did before. Rinoa had taken that place now, and Ellone had hurt him one time too many to regain his trust. After all, she did seem happy with Laguna, and as long as she was happy, Squall was satisfied.

WHY she would be happy to live with Laguna was beyond his comprehension, though. In his eyes, Laguna was still a big fool - and now when things had been revealed – a big fool that couldn't be trusted. So many emotions had welled up in him that day. Anger, confusion, bitterness… and even a bit of hatred. There were so many questions he wanted to ask, but at the same time, he was too proud and angry to show that he was wondering. He was afraid it would be misinterpreted as a sign of acceptance, and that was the last thing he wanted. Squall didn't want Laguna to try to be his friend. His buddy.

His father.

It was too late for that.

And he didn't want his friends to interfere. Still, the hurt look in Rinoa's eyes and the sad tone of her voice had almost made him crack, but his old self had held him back. What if Rinoa would leave him and hurt him in the same way everyone else had? Laguna's confession had ripped up wounds that had only just begun to heal. The difference was; while Raine, Ellone, and all the other children at the orphanage had no choice at the time but leave him, Laguna had known about him all the time, but he hadn't done anything about it.

Would he have wanted Laguna to raise him, anyway? Would he have wanted things to be different?

Where did all this hate come from?

The ground was hard to sit on and his back hurt from spending so many hours on this ledge. Grunting, Squall stood up, "You know, Zell, maybe you're right. I think we could need a break, an-"

"Squall, look!" Zell was pointing towards the street.

Turning around, Squall inwardly cursed at what he saw. An army of thirty or more rebel soldiers seemed to have popped out from nowhere and were rapidly approaching. The guards put up their defense, and within seconds, the battle had begun. Squall could see Quistis arrive from the left side of the building, Irvine, Xu and Nida running along with her. Obviously, they were going to join the fight in search of the rebel leaders.

"Come on, Squall, we gotta go help!" Zell was ready to run off, but Squall grabbed his arm.

"Wait!"

(There's something wrong here… Why would they attack a place so heavily guarded, and not even try to sneak in? There's no way they're going to get past the guards alive. And if the leaders are with them, they're going to be caught pretty soon.)

"Squall, come on!!!" Zell tugged his arm, "What's the matter?!"

(I don't buy it. I don't believe that two guys who have managed to make half of the population support them can be this stupid.)

More soldiers came running in, both rebel soldiers and Caraway's guards.

(The guards… The other sides are more or less left unprotected. It's a trap.)

"Zell, come with me," Squall started to climb down, then headed for the right side.

"What? Where the hell you going?"

"Zell, just follow me. I don't have time to explain," Squall paused and glanced at him, "And that's an order."

"All righty," shrugging to himself, Zell obeyed.

"Rinoa, what are you waiting for?" Selphie was jumping up and down, "All the action's at the front! I wanna go help!"

"Selphie… There's something… I don't know…," Rinoa had this strange feeling of someone or something watching them, but there was no one there. She felt reluctant about leaving the place, and was unsure whether she should trust her instincts or not, "I think there's something we've overlooked…"

"Like what?" the yellow-dressed girl looked around, "There's nothing here!"

"I know, but…," there was a movement. The lid that led down to the sewer was starting to open, "Selphie!" Rinoa's voice lowered to a whisper, "Over there. Look."

Two men emerged from the sewer, obviously a pair of rebel soldiers. Rinoa and Selphie quickly ducked down behind a bush as the two looked around for any possible threats, before signalizing to someone else under the lid. Two more men climbed up. One was young, with long, dark hair that almost reminded Rinoa of Squall, only this guy was older and less handsome. The other man was older than the first, probably well above thirty. His hair was equally dark, but short. His single eye peered hatefully up at the large building.

"It's them!" Selphie said excitedly, "It's the leaders! Xar and Lyach!"

"Not so loud, Selphie!" Rinoa hissed, but it was too late.

The four men all turned their gazes towards the bush, "There's someone there," one of the soldiers said.

"Kill them," Xar ordered, his ugly face set in a deep frown.

Rinoa took in a breath, getting ready to fight, but Selphie was quicker than her. Without warning, the spunky girl had leapt out of her hiding and was eagerly throwing her nunchaku at one of the soldiers. Rinoa rose, concentrating while the men were busy with Selphie, and then let the power flow through her and out of the tips of her fingers, striking the enemy hard.

"ULTIMA!"

It was enough to cause one of the soldiers to fall in defeat. Selphie was taking care of the remaining soldier, while Rinoa was trying to keep the two rebel brothers under control. Obviously, they were both good fighters, but not very experienced in magic. Still, they were strong, and the young Sorceress had a hard time casting spells and at the same time avoiding the bullets from Xar and Lyach's guns. She hastily cast Protect on herself.

Seeing the bullets didn't do much damage, Lyach frowned and let Xar take over for a moment while gathering his own powers. A Thunder spell hit Rinoa, almost throwing her off balance, but it was nothing compared to her own magic. Concentrating again, she cast Meteor on them, which proved to cause heavy damage. Lyach moaned in pain and flopped into a crumpled heap on the ground, but Xar got to his feet quicker than Rinoa had expected. Shooting her a hateful look, he turned and darted away.

"Stop him!" Selphie cried.

Rinoa tried to throw Flare, but Xar was already too far away. Besides, she was starting to feel … slightly nauseous.

"Well, at least we've got this guy!" Selphie stepped over and kicked the defenseless Lyach in the stomach, "Tough leader, huh? Well, that's how it goes when you try to kill the President," she turned away to go report her triumph to the others.

But Lyach wasn't as weak as he seemed. Slowly, he turned around, lifted his gun, and aimed at the retreating Selphie…

"No!" Before she could stop herself, Rinoa was casting another Ultima on Lyach, and when the explosion was over, he let out a soft whine and fell unconscious. Rinoa hoped she hadn't killed him – surely her father would like to see the one who wanted to murder him.

"Woah!" Selphie was wide eyed. Rinoa tried to say something, but was overwhelmed with the strange feeling again. Everything was spinning, the ground was swaying under her feet…

"Rinoa, are you okay?"

"I… I'm… dizzy…," was all the black haired Sorceress could say. Before she knew it, the world went black and she was out already before she hit the ground.

"Rinoa!" Squall rounded the corner just in time to see her fall. Immediately, he ran to her side, Zell tagging along behind him, "Selphie, what happened?"

"I don't know! One second she was fighting the mean brothers, the next she's falling over!" Selphie sounded distressed.

"Man, we'd better get her to Doctor Kadowaki," Zell said.

Selphie pointed to the man on the ground, "The other one got away."

Squall didn't spare Lyach much else but a glance. Instead, he lifted Rinoa's limp body from the ground as gently as he could, worry plain on his face as it shone through his frown.

(Not now, Rinoa… Don't leave. Please. I'm sorry…)

Chapter 17:

The rebel soldiers had been defeated and President Caraway had taken the very weak Lyach as prisoner, but he was certain this wouldn't be the last they would see of Xar and his army. This thought, however, was not what was troubling Squall and his friends as they were hurriedly escorted to the beach where Garden picked them up – Rinoa was still unconscious.

Five worried SeeDs were waiting impatiently in the hall outside the infirmary. The sun was barely rising in the east, and none of them had gotten any sleep this night. They were tired from fighting, but wouldn't go to rest before they knew how Rinoa was doing.

Irvine had his arms wrapped around Selphie's waist. She was staring impatiently at the door leading to Doctor Kadowaki's office. Quistis was silent, exchanging worried glances with Zell now and then. Squall seemed more impatient and exhausted than any of them as he paced back and forth – something Zell usually did, not him. He hadn't even fought the night before, but his worry for Rinoa was wearing him out. The last time she had fainted, she was possessed by Ultimecia. Was this something similar happening again? When she woke up, would she be their enemy? Or was she just very sick? Sick… Would she die?

He bit his lip at the thought.

Finally, the door opened and the Doctor stepped outside. All eyes went to her, and Kadowaki was truly surprised by the obvious worry in Squall's voice as he asked, "Is she all right?"

"What happened to her?" Zell asked.

"I feel so guilty… I should have helped her," Selphie said quietly.

Irvine hugged her more tightly, "Hey, it wasn't your fault, babe…"

The Doctor held her hands up for silence, "Calm down, young friends. Rinoa is just fine."

The tension in the room fell as everybody let out a breath of relief.

(Thank God…)

"The reason she passed out was probably that she strained herself too much during the fight. I'm no expert on Sorceresses, but my guess is that she's not quite used to the power of her magic yet. Otherwise, she has a few wounds from the bullets, but none of them hit her directly," the Doctor smiled at Squall, who had put on his usual blank expression again once he heard Rinoa was fine, "It's not good for her to fight so much in her state."

He blinked in confusion, "In 'her state'?"

She shook her head, "Never mind. Go inside. She wants to see you," she glanced at the others, "Don't worry, you'll get your chance later. Go get some sleep."

Irvine escorted a very tired Selphie to her room, while Zell headed to the cafeteria to see if there were any hot dogs left. Quistis lingered behind for a moment and stepped over to Squall.

"Show her that you care," she whispered, "You hurt her."

Frowning, Squall nodded lightly and walked into the infirmary.

Rinoa blinked her brown eyes open, and her face visibly lit up as she saw the boy sitting by the bed, "Squall…"

"Hey…," he shifted in his seat, seeming to feel a little uncomfortable, but reached out with a hand and stroked her cheek, "You had me worried there."

She smiled weakly, "I'm sorry I ruined your cool exterior," she teased, "But you don't need to worry. I'm fine."

"Doctor Kadowaki said you shouldn't fight so much. You're not used to your Sorceress powers yet."

Suddenly, Rinoa's smile faded and a strange expression crossed her face, "No… It's not that…"

He frowned, "What do you mean?"

"It's not because of my Sorceress powers I shouldn't fight… It's… I…," she took in a deep breath and closed her eyes. How was she going to tell him? How would he react? She wasn't even sure how she felt about it, yet. It was all so confusing.

(What is she talking about? She looks like she's in pain… Is she sick? Is there something Doctor Kadowaki didn't tell me?)

"Rinoa," he took her hand and squeezed it, "Tell me. What's wrong?"

She looked up at him. God, he confused her so. He had been so caring and gentle, then he had practically ignored her the last week, only to show such affection again now. How would she be able to stand this? He only showed his feelings when he felt like it – most of the time he locked them up. Like he was locking up his emotions about Laguna being his father. What would he say now? Would he hate her? Leave her? What?

(Is she angry at me still? …It must be something really serious. She looks so worried. Come on, Rinoa, please tell me. Whatever it is, we'll get through it. I won't let you go. I can't.)

"Squall," she took his hands, turned around in bed to face him fully, and looked directly into his eyes. Her own were filled with confusion, worry and a hint of hope, "Squall… I'm… I'm… pregnant."

… Game over.

The words struck him harder than any blow during fight, and for a second, Rinoa thought he was going to faint. His grip on her hands loosened, and he limply leaned back in his chair.

(This can't be happening…)

(Not now.)

(It was only one night. How could…?)

(What will Cid say? It's reason enough to expel us both from Garden.)

(He wouldn't do that, would he?)

(God, what am I thinking? Who cares about Cid. Rinoa is pregnant. Rinoa is PREGNANT!)

(And I'm… I'm the… father.)

(I'll barely be 18 when it's born. I'm going to be a father before I'm adult myself.)

(Why now? Why me? Why does everything happen at once?!)

Rinoa was concerned. She had seen many sides of Squall, but never before had she seen him look so disturbed. He was still staring at her as if she had just told him she was an alien, "Squall, are you all right?" her voice was trembling, "Say something. Please?" …She was so nervous. One thing was for sure; he wasn't happy about this. Why should he be? She didn't want it to happen either, but it was obviously too late.

He blinked, once, and focused on her again, "I…"

(…am not ready for this.)

(…didn't want this to happen now.)

(…don't know what to do.)

"I… I… think I need… some fresh air."

Feeling sick, Squall rose and fled the room.

Rinoa started to call him back, but stopped herself before the words could escape her. Putting her face in her hands, she sighed heavily. While she was hurt, she couldn't blame Squall for his reaction. She realized he had just barely begun to behave like someone his age should, when the news from Laguna had put a quick end to that. Now, she had killed his last hope of ever being somewhat like a normal teenager with these news. He couldn't relax as a Commander, and he couldn't relax around her.

And she… was she ready to be a mother? No way. She couldn't even imagine the responsibility this meant, and at the moment, she failed to see anything positive about the situation. It was just one night… Couldn't they even have that together without having to face such consequences?

Warm tears of regret spilled from the young Sorceress' eyes.

Chapter 18:

As usual, rumors spread rapidly throughout Balamb Garden. Quistis had seen Squall leave the infirmary in a haste, and she went to visit Rinoa – who had poured out her story to her in a fit of sobs. Quistis had barely managed to calm her down for the moment and ordered her to get some sleep, before meeting up with the rest of her friends. Selphie was just staring in disbelief, while Irvine and Zell – after getting over the first shock – were cracking jokes about how 'Squall really did it that night'. Quistis simply glared at them.

Eventually, the news reached the Kramer couple as well. Disappointed and upset, Cid had been ready to seek out Squall and reprimand him, but Edea stopped him before he could walk out of his office.

"It's better if I talk with him first," she said, "I can imagine he's pretty upset himself."

And as usual, Cid had to give his wife right. 

No one really knew where Squall had went off to, but Edea eventually found some students who had seen him head into the Training Center. From there on, it wasn't too hard to find him. The huge t-rexaur carcass lying in the middle of the training area was a pretty obvious clue. Poor animal, Edea thought. So this is how he lets out his frustration…

Soon afterwards, she found Squall sitting on one of the numerous rocks, in the shadow of a large tree. He was fiddling with his gunblade, hacking the tip into the rock, and the frown on his face seemed even more troubled than usual. Killing the t-rexaur hadn't done much to help him.

"Squall…"

Somewhat startled, he looked up at the woman who had once raised him, "Matron… I'd rather be alone right now. You shouldn't be in here anyway. There's real monsters here, you know."

She put her hands on her hips and smirked, "Don't you tell ME what to do. I can see when my boy has a problem," Edea walked closer and sat on the rock next to him.

Squall didn't say anything. He just stared at the ground.

"You didn't expect this, did you?" she put a hand on his shoulder. God, how he hated that false gesture of sympathy.

"Of course I didn't expect it," he mumbled. What kind of question was that?

"I understand that you're frightened, and that you didn't want this… But answer me this one question: You love Rinoa, right?"

He frowned deeper, pausing for a moment, then he shrugged, "I suppose…"

"Then the rest shouldn't be so hard. If you really love her, you'd want to have a baby with her someday anyway, wouldn't you?" Edea titled her head.

(How should I know? I hadn't thought that far ahead. I hadn't even considered marrying her.)

"Yeah, whatever."

"Squall," she narrowed her eyes, flipping her dark hair behind her shoulder and leaning forward in an attempt at meeting his gaze, "You can't change it now. Rinoa needs you. At this moment, she might even think you never want to see her again. Your friends are confused, and I won't lie to you: my husband is quite upset. So if even you can't try to handle this, then who will?"

Edea stood up, "It's not the end of the world… I've raised a lot of children, including you. I'm not saying it will be easy, but it will bring you a lot of happiness, too. Don't forget that you have all your friends to rely on if you need help."

(Oh, give me a break…)

She looked around, gave his shoulder a final pat, and said, "Go talk with Rinoa."

Squall watched Edea leave, partly to make sure she didn't run into any monsters. He thought about what he had promised Rinoa in his mind earlier today, before he learned what was 'wrong' with her.

(Whatever it is, we'll get through it.)

(Look at me… I'm more of a coward than Laguna is.)

It was strange. He had fought an evil Sorceress from the future without blinking, but he found it more frightening to imagine himself as a family man. The role simply didn't fit him. Edea was right, though - there was no way to undo the damage that was already done. A part of him was growing inside Rinoa, and he had no one but himself to blame for it.

Poor Rinoa… He had seen her expression when he ran out of the room. What would she think of him?

Squall guessed there was no other choice for him but to grit his teeth and get through it, push back any worries he might have, as he always did. The thought didn't help much, though. He was still confused and concerned, but the worst shock had started to fade.

He clenched his fists, then put the gunblade away and stood up, a new look of determination on his face.

Rinoa didn't feel ready to meet the others yet, but Doctor Kadowaki had clearly told her that she was fine and didn't need to stay in the infirmary any longer. Reluctantly, she walked through the hall of Balamb Garden, hoping she would be able to sneak back to her room without running into anyone.

Of course, she wasn't that lucky.

"Hey, Rinoa!" Zell called as he came running out from the cafeteria, Selphie following behind him.

She sighed and turned to them, rubbing her eyes with her hands. She had taken a glance at herself in the mirror, and she looked awful. Her clothes were dirty after the fight, her face looked tired and her eyes were red, and her hair was standing out in all directions.

"Wow! So, Rinoa… you're really… like, you know!" Selphie exclaimed, looking at Rinoa's stomach – which, of course, was still completely flat.

"Man, I didn't know Squall had it in him!" Zell said.

Rinoa winced as Zell said Squall's name. She had probably scared him away for good now, "…Do you… have you seen him since this morning?" she asked, timidly.

"Nope," Selphie answered, "Quistis saw him practically run out of the infirmary and no one's seen him since."

Feeling her heart sink, Rinoa looked at the floor, "Oh…"

Suddenly, Zell's expression changed to mild surprise and he seemed about to say something, but stopped before the words could form. He was staring at something behind Rinoa's back, but she didn't get time to turn around as she felt someone gently grab at her left arm. Glancing over her shoulder, she looked straight into Squall's expressionless face.

Selphie hopped back and forth a bit nervously, "Um, I should… go see Irvine. Yup, that's what I'll do! Tee hee!" she smiled at Rinoa, then quickly walked away.

Rinoa and Squall were just looking at each other.

Zell stood there for a while, looking after Selphie, "Uh, what's with her…," it took him another couple of seconds to figure out why the girl had left so suddenly, but when he looked back at the couple, he understood, "Oh! Yeah… I kind of… promised Bella a date when I came back, so… I better go. Yeah. Bye," he grinned sheepishly and ran towards the dormitory.

Squall glared faintly in Zell's direction, then looked around. There weren't any students present. Most of them were at class. Seeing they were alone, he let his arms slip around Rinoa's waist, but she pulled back from him and looked at the floor again.

"Rinoa… about this morning…"

"You don't have to say it, Squall," she whispered, wrapping her own arms around her stomach, "You don't want the baby," she tried to say it coldly as if she didn't care, but her voice came out full of pain.

"No, no, it's not that…," he sighed, putting a hand to his forehead.

(How the hell do you deal with this sort of thing? What does she want? Did she expect me to leap with joy?)

"Look… Rinoa…," he stepped closer to her, "All I know… is that I want to be with you. I used to think that all I wanted was to be a SeeD, but… you're the one that took away that empty feeling inside of me. I'm sorry for the way I've acted for the last couple of weeks… We can do this, okay?"

Rinoa watched him for a moment, then sighed and closed her eyes, leaning her head against his chest, and he put his arms around her again. She knew it was difficult for him to express his feelings, and every time he made these very rare and awkward little talks, she couldn't help but believe he really did love her, "I'm scared, Squall…"

"I know…"

(So am I.)

Barely audible, Rinoa whispered, "I love you."

She didn't expect him to reply, and he didn't – He didn't really have to. Squall kissed her forehead and they stood there hugging each other for a while, until class was over a few minutes later and students started to appear in the hall. Then he took her hand and followed her back to the dorms. They both needed to rest.

Chapter 19:

Quistis was sitting in the cafeteria, staring out of the window. She had managed to find a secluded table of her own over in a corner, but guessed it was only a matter of time before some students from her infamous fan club would hunt her down and pester her with their questions and admiring looks. The young woman sighed heavily and sipped to her coffee.

The last four months had been tiring. Not because of her work – in fact, after receiving the pay for the mission in Deling, Garden was looking forward to a brighter future – but because of her friends. All of them were so happy, all of a sudden. Irvine and Selphie were seriously involved, now, and Selphie would make sure her boyfriend's eyes didn't trail to other girls. Of course, she didn't manage to change his nature completely, but after getting slapped a few times when looking a bit too long on other female Garden students, Irvine had eventually begun to learn. Zell was drop-dead in love with the 'library girl', Bella. Quistis was happy for him, of course, but she almost felt sick when she walked past the two of them while they were giving each other cute, little compliments and giggling like children.

Then there were Squall and Rinoa. Calling Squall 'happy' would be to exaggerate – he was still the Squall she knew, who took his job so seriously it almost frightened her and acted asocial towards everybody but his closest friends. But she could swear she would see him smile almost every day now. The fact that Rinoa was pregnant didn't seem to scare him as much any longer. The first month had been bad, Quistis recalled. He had been visibly worried out of his mind, and he and Rinoa would argue rather often. Headmaster Cid had given both Squall and Rinoa a rather harsh lecture because of their irresponsibility, but afterwards, Edea managed to talk him into letting the young couple share the same room. After all, Squall deserved a bigger room, since he was a Commander, Edea had reasoned.

Quistis had doubted Squall would like the idea of sharing room with another person again, but now he seemed to get along with Rinoa better than ever before. Everybody was watching Rinoa's growing belly with excitement, and Selphie kept squealing excitedly about how she wanted a lot of children someday. All of them had been surprised when Quistis had coldly excused herself and left.

It was all too much. Everybody – everybody, but her, had someone to love. It was such a selfish and childish thought, she knew that, but Quistis just couldn't help it. She had a bunch of admirers who would love to go out with her, but she didn't want a guy who was just helplessly in love with her beauty and her SeeD skills. She wanted someone who could love what was inside of her, and there didn't seem to be anyone like that around. There was a time when she thought she was in love with Squall, but she had dismissed that thought and said it was a big sisterly kind of love, nothing more. Still, she couldn't deny that she - more often than not - would feel a sharp pang of jealously when she saw Squall and Rinoa share a tender moment. She would wish that was her he was kissing, then the next second she would feel ashamed of herself and walk away.

"Quistis?" a female voice said softly, interrupting her dark thoughts.

Quistis looked up, meeting the friendly face and brown eyes of Xu. She was dressed in her SeeD uniform as usual, and was smiling. Xu was one of Quistis' best friends, apart from her companions whom she had aided in the battle with Ultimecia. She was a few years older than Quistis, but they had graduated at the same time and had been friends ever since.

"Oh, I'm sorry, Xu, I didn't see you…"

"That's perfectly all right," Xu answered, still smiling, "Mind if I join you?"

The younger female shook her head, and Xu pulled out a chair and sat down, taking a sip from her own cup of coffee.

"So, any news?" Quistis asked. Xu often helped the Headmaster with organizing missions and field exams, and she usually knew what was going on in the upper levels of the Garden, even better than Quistis and her friends.

"Well, things are getting pretty tense in Galbadia, apparently," Xu told her, "They're holding that Lyach fellow as prisoner and tried to question him, but he simply wouldn't let out any information at all, even when they tried to force him."

Quistis swallowed. She knew of Galbadia's ways to make people talk, and as Squall had experienced in the D-District prison, they weren't very pleasant.

"Anyway," Xu continued, "They can't find Xar anywhere, and the rebels are starting to build up their forces again. In addition to that, small groups of the population have started to argue amongst themselves. It's the poor against the rich, it seems. The less fortunate of the people are beginning to disagree with President Caraway's way of ruling, because its in favor of the rich ones' lifestyle. Everything's a big mess," she shook her head and smirked, "The GOOD thing about that is that they're going to need SeeD for plenty of missions, small as well as big, and as we have a large group ready for graduation soon, we are prepared."

Xu kept on talking and Quistis wasn't really listening, as she looked down at her coffee which was starting to get cold.

"…Trabia Garden is doing better since we helped with their funding, and they expect to be done rebuilding in a couple of years. Galbadia Garden is still missing, but I hear some of its former students are going to be transferred here, and… Quistis? Are you with me?"

Quistis blinked and snapped out of her own, little world again, "Huh?"

Xu frowned, "Quistis, is there something bothering you? Come on, you're even more absentminded than Squall."

"Sorry, sorry," Quistis shook her head and sighed, "It's nothing, really… It's just that I've been a little depressed lately. I guess I feel like I'm not important around here anymore…"

The other woman was silent for a moment, then she rubbed her chin thoughtfully with a hand, before saying, "You know, I've heard some more gossip up at Cid's office as well. I don't think I'm supposed to tell you this yet, but…," she grinned slightly, and Quistis wondered what she was talking about.

"When Garden Master NORG was still here, his faculty did the great mistake of taking the instructor license away from one of our finest instructors. They said she wasn't much of a leader type, and at the time, Headmaster Cid and I agreed with them. But now… I believe that young woman has gained the experience she needs. And apparently, Cid thinks so as well."

Quistis stared at her friend in disbelief, "You mean…"

"…you're going to be Instructor Trepe again," Xu smiled warmly, "If you want to, that is."

"If I want to? I'd love to!" Quistis exclaimed, which caused a few other students to turn their heads and look at her. She just smiled at them and looked back at Xu, "There's nothing I want more."

Well, it didn't change the fact she was still lonely, but being an instructor was something she enjoyed a lot and she had been very upset when it was taken away from her. She looked forward to teaching young students again.

Xu grinned, "Feel better? I just hope Cid won't be too upset that I told you."

Quistis giggled, "The best thing is, now I get to make sure Irvine doesn't cheat."

"Oh?" Xu cocked an eyebrow.

"Didn't you hear? I guess even you miss out on some gossip, Xu… Irvine is finally taking thewritten exam next week to become a real SeeD," Quistis said, "He doesn't need a field exam. It should be pretty obvious why."

Xu laughed and nodded, "Well, tell him good luck. I have to get back to the office," she rose, leaving the empty coffee cup on the table.

"I will," Quistis giggled again and leaned back in her chair. It was going to be a good day after all.

Chapter 20:

There was an open, flat area on the edge of Balamb Town, and that was where he was trying to build a small house. Of course, he had never done anything that even resembled building a house before, but could hardly afford the material and could certainly not hire anyone to do the job for him.

The stones simply wouldn't lie as he wanted them to, and when he looked at his work, he saw a bunch of rocks and wood that looked nothing like a house, and he felt ready to give up. In a sudden flash of anger, he kicked the stones he has just placed down, causing both the stones to fall and his foot to hurt. Cursing loudly, he flopped down on the ground and put his head in his hands.

He couldn't do this. He couldn't put everything behind him as if it hadn't happened, he couldn't start all over again as some ordinary fisherman living an ordinary life in an ordinary, little house in an ordinary town. It didn't work that way.

Had he been alone, he would have gone insane a long time ago. But, fortunately for him, he wasn't.

Someone's arms were suddenly wrapped around his neck from behind, and as on instinct, he flipped around to defend himself. But before he could throw a punch, he saw it was just her. He started to say something, but then just shook his head and turned away again, knowing what she was going to say and not wanting to hear it.

She wouldn't let him ignore her, though. Not anymore. Today she was determined to stop being a coward, and not let him push her away. As usual, she sat down next to him, folding her legs beneath her, and watched him.

Eventually, he got tired of being stared at, and turned to her, "What do you want?"

"HELP," was the short reply, and she continued to watch him.

"I don't need any help."

"YES."

"No, I'm fine. I just had a little… accident, that's all," he absently rubbed his right foot.

She didn't seem convinced, but she stood up and he thought she was going to leave. No such luck, though. She just slipped around him and placed her hands on his shoulders, starting to give him a massage.

"Mmm… Don't do that," he said, but didn't sound like he meant it. She smiled.

"Why are you so good to me?" he asked, all of a sudden, looking over his shoulder and up at her.

She paused, looking uncertain, then she sat down by his side again, "CARE."

"But that's what I mean," he argued, "Why do you care?"

Instead of giving a verbal reply, she lifted her hand and let a single finger slip down his cheek. How long hadn't she wanted to do that? She had always feared his reaction. But he didn't seem to dislike it, in fact, he just stared at her.

And she thought it was all a dream when he was the one to lean forward first, but when his lips met hers, she realized it was just a dream coming true.

The door to President Loire's office flew open.

"Laguna, you've been pacing back and forth in your office for the last five months. If you don't pull yourself together, there's going to be a hole in the floor!" Kiros complained.

"……" said Ward.

"Yeah, like Ward said, just go see the boy!"

Laguna seemed a bit startled as he looked at his two friends, but at their last comment, he just shook his head and walked over to his chair, sitting down and facing the window, "I can't go see him. Don't you remember? The way he looked at me, I think he'd rather see me burn in hell."

"Well, right now, I almost do agree with him," Kiros frowned and walked over to Laguna, blocking his view to the window, "You're doing the same thing all over again, Laguna. Hiding here and using your duties as an excuse while letting your own guilt drive you crazy. But guess what, Mr. President? This country is running rather smoothly by itself now. I am SURE we will survive without you for a few days."

"No, this isn't the same," Laguna stood up again, moving away from Kiros and stopping in the middle of the room to stare at the wall, "Last time… That was different. He doesn't need me now. Kiros, the kid saved the universe. What does he need me for? He's bitter and he has every right to be that, so I'll just leave him alone."

"……" Ward mumbled.

Laguna's eyes snapped up to him, "What do you mean 'see your grandchild'? Hey, wait a…," his face went pale, "Do you mean that…?"

"Seems like your bloodline will continue, Laguna," Kiros said slyly.

"Wow…," was everything the President could say, "Wow… That's…"

"Great? Wonderful?" Kiros watched him move over to lean on his desk for support, "Won't do much good if you never get to see it, will it?"

Laguna shook his head, "I'll go if I'm invited," he said, still a bit dazed by the news, "Otherwise, I'm staying right here."

Kiros shook his head and sighed, "Come on, Ward, let's go. This is like talking to a wall..."


	5. Chapters 21 - 25

Chapter 21:

The bell rang at 6:00 am in Squall and Rinoa's tiny apartment. Their new room was located in the far back of the dormitory, where all the high ranking members of Garden lived, including Headmaster Cid and his wife.

Rinoa mumbled something and turned over in bed, putting her pillow over her head to avoid the sound. Eventually, Squall reached out with an arm and turned off the alarm, then blinked and sat up.

Looking up at him tiredly, Rinoa asked, "Why do you have to get up so…," she was interrupted by a yawn, "…early?"

Squall rubbed his eyes, "Because I'm a Commander, obviously. A team of SeeDs are going out to Galbadia tomorrow and I'm the lucky person who gets to help them prepare."

"They're going out again?" Rinoa seemed displeased.

He nodded, "It's nothing big, though. Just some frightened Dollet citizens that want protection from the rebels that will be attacking soon – or so the rumor says."

"Can't you stay here with me a bit longer?" she grabbed his arm and looked up at him pleadingly, smiling.

Squall smiled in return and bent down to kiss her cheek, but then shook his head. No matter how much he wanted to stay, his duties were more important than what he wanted, as they always were. Over the past months, the shell wrapped around his emotions had been in the process of being destroyed, with Rinoa's help. He couldn't remember feeling so at ease before. Rinoa had opened him up, made him smile, made him a better person, and her pregnancy didn't really bother him any more. Well, at least not as much as it used to. Still, he seemed the same to most of the students in Garden. Cold, hard, not saying more than he needed to. Being a SeeD was his job, and he followed orders like he always had done. If Cid wanted him to do something, he never protested, even if it was nothing important and he had planned to spend the evening with Rinoa. This one thing bothered her a lot. Even if she knew he loved her, she felt as if his work always was more important than her.

She watched him as he got dressed, resting a hand on her stomach, which was starting to get pretty big, "Sometimes, I worry…," she said quietly.

He looked at her, briefly, "About what?"

"What if it's a girl and she inherits my Sorceress powers? I don't want my child to be a Sorceress…," she sighed, "It's frightening, you know. Outside Garden, everybody knows who I am and they always stare at me and back away. I know they're afraid of me, like they were afraid of Edea, and Adel…"

Squall was about to put on his jacket, but he paused and laid it back down, then sat on the bed next to her, wrapping an arm around her shoulders, "It's okay. No one's afraid of you here. You told me yourself that you have started to understand your powers, right?"

"That's the key word. 'Started to'. I have no idea of what I'm really capable of doing. Edea said I would understand in time, and that it really isn't difficult to control it once I learn how to, but… I'm still scared. I don't want our baby to go through the same thing. Maybe I should have stayed in Esthar…"

Squall groaned, "Are you going to start that fight again? For the last time, you should NOT have stayed in Esthar. I wouldn't have let you, anyway. You've been doing fine so far," he put his other hand over the one she held on her belly, "Besides, I learned in class that Sorceress powers aren't inherited through blood. Only when one Sorceress dies will the power be passed on to another."

(Do all pregnant women worry this much?)

Rinoa smiled a little at him. He was getting better at the comforting thing, she figured, "Okay. I'm sorry."

He shook his head and slipped away from her, "Go back to sleep and I'll see you later," he said and went into the bathroom.

… … …

When he returned a few minutes later, Rinoa was already asleep again. Squall smiled to himself and cautiously approached her. Careful not to wake her up, he gently took off her necklace, picked off the Griever ring, stuffed it in his pocket and put the necklace back on. He froze as she grunted and shifted in her sleep, but relaxed as she went silent again. Quietly, he left the room and closed the door behind him with a soft 'click'.

"…so, I was thinking about creating a new orphanage. During these times of war, many children are bound to lose their parents, unfortunately."

Edea, Zell and Bella were sitting in the cafeteria. For once, Zell had been early for the hot dogs – mostly because of Bella, though. She liked to get up early in the morning, and this had started to affect Zell as well. It had to affect him, considering the first thing she did every morning was to knock at his door until he woke up.

"Really? That's interesting," Bella said softly, while Zell was busy eating his breakfast. Bella never quite understood how he could stand to eat hot dogs for every single meal.

"Mmmf," Zell swallowed the piece he had been chewing on and looked to Edea, "Are you gonna rebuild the one on Centra, Matron?"

She shook her head, "No, I don't want to be that far away from you all. I thought we could make one on the other side of Balamb. There's plenty of open areas there. I'm going to need some help, though… I'm not as young as I used to be, and it's going to be hard to take care of all the children by myself."

"Maybe we can help!" Bella said cheerfully, "Right, Zell?"

Zell nearly choked on his food again, "Say WHAT?!"

Edea put a hand over her mouth and chuckled, while Bella smiled brightly, "Wouldn't it be cute? I mean, I want to become a SeeD and stuff… But now when I've got you, all that isn't so important any more, I think. Besides, taking care of orphans is an important job too! Don't you think so?"

"Uuuh…," Zell looked for a way to escape the subject.

As on cue, Squall found his way to their table, "Morning," he offered in a plain voice.

"Good morning, Squall," Edea greeted with a smile.

"Squall! Just the man I was looking for!" Zell jumped up from his chair quickly, while Bella seemed a little surprised.

"Really?" Squall lifted one eyebrow, "Funny, since I need to talk with you too," he looked at Edea and Bella, "Would you ladies please excuse us for a minute?"

Zell followed Squall to another part of the cafeteria, where they were relatively alone.

"Phew, thanks, man. Bella sure has some crazy ideas sometimes…," Zell breathed a sigh of relief.

Squall rolled his eyes, then put his hand in his pocket and pulled out something, "I got the ring."

"Oh, great!" Zell grinned and took the Griever ring out of Squall's hand, studying it.

"Don't you dare lose it."

"I won't, I won't, sheesh," Zell put the ring away, "Hey, woah… déjà vu. This reminds me of that time… When Galbadia Garden was attacking us, remember? Instead of you taking the ring from Rinoa to give it to me, it was me who took the ring from you to give it to Rinoa," he rubbed the back of his head, "Or was it Rinoa who…"

"Just make the ring, Zell," Squall interrupted, "I have to get to work."

"Sure thing, Mr. Cheery guy," Zell smirked as he watched Squall walk away, then headed back to the table, hoping they weren't talking about the orphanage anymore.

Chapter 22:

"Ahhhhh!!!" Rinoa screamed loudly, squirming on the bed in the infirmary. Doctor Kadowaki and one of her assistants were walking back and forth busily, preparing themselves for the big event.

"Only two minutes between her contractions," the Doctor mumbled, "It's going to happen soon."

Rinoa was breathing heavily, her eyes wide and terrified. She had been told to try to remain calm and take slow, deep breaths, but it just seemed impossible. Next to her bed was a very distressed Squall, who barely could stand still and winced every time the girl screamed.

"Here's another one!" Rinoa gasped and suddenly grasped Squall's hand, squeezing it hard, "It HURTS!!!" she whined.

Squall gritted his teeth and quickly pulled away his hand as soon as Rinoa let go – she had nearly stopped the blood flow, "Rinoa…," he said, but couldn't really find words. And before he got the chance to, Kadowaki's assistant came and started to push him out the door.

"You better leave now. We'll take care of her."

"But…"

"No buts. You'll see her when it's over. Shoo," the young woman shoved him out and closed the door behind him.

He could hear Rinoa scream again, "DAMN YOU SQUALL!" she shouted. He tried not to take offense from her words – he had been warned she might say something like that.

Turning around, he saw that all his friends were out in the hall with him, even Headmaster Cid and Edea.

"How's she doing, man? Doesn't sound too good," Zell said, somewhat nervously, while Bella had her arm wrapped around his.

Selphie was jumping up and down with concern, Irvine was trying to make her stop, and Quistis was inwardly swearing she never, ever wanted to go through what Rinoa was experiencing.

Squall didn't reply. He leaned against the fence in the hall, looking pale – almost ill.

Edea cleared her voice, "Come on now, children. It's not anything fatal, she's just going through a birth. It's a natural thing," that was easy for her to say, though, who had never given birth to a child herself – only taken care of orphaned ones. Cid could tell even she was nervous, and he put his arms around her.

What seemed like an eternity passed by, when in reality it was only 30 minutes. The four SeeDs and the Kramers waited in anticipation, while Squall was trying his best to get a grip on himself.

They could still hear Rinoa's cries through the door, and every time Squall heard them, he regretted that one night 8 ½ months ago. She sounded like she was being torn apart from inside, and he didn't even want to imagine what it was really like. All the old fear that had been there in the beginning returned, and he almost felt envious of Selphie who could jump about all she wanted without being viewed as an idiot. At that moment, he believed he had never before found it so hard to stand still and wait.

(What if something goes wrong? What if both of them die? It IS half a month too early, after all.)

He wished he had his gunblade and a Grat he could kill nearby.

Then it went silent. So silent, he could hear himself breathe. Everybody stared at the door. The silence was followed by new cries – but they were different. It wasn't Rinoa – they were the infantile cries of a newborn.

Everybody in the hall cheered, and Squall sighed heavily and let some of the tension leave his body. Zell went over and patted him on the back, and Quistis even kissed his cheek. She felt it was the only time she could ever allow herself to do that and took the opportunity.

Minutes later, the door to the infirmary opened, and Doctor Kadowaki peeked out. She gave Squall a warm smile, "You can come inside and see them now."

Squall straightened himself, his eyes wide, "Is she…are they… okay?"

She nodded, "Rinoa and the boy are both fine. Congratulations."

(A boy…)

Taking a deep breath, Squall turned and looked at the others. All of them were smiling at him, and Zell was grinning stupidly. Trembling ever so slightly, the young Commander followed Doctor Kadowaki inside.

Squall was in a daze. He couldn't think clearly, he was frightened and insanely curious at the same time. What was he going to say? How was Rinoa doing? Was she still as upset as she had sounded earlier? Of course not, she was just in pain then. But what if-

All his thoughts were put on hold as the Doctor pulled away the curtains: And there they were.

Rinoa, his dark haired, brown eyed angel, looking exhausted and sweaty, but beautiful as always. She was holding something small in her arms. No, not something… A baby, wrapped in a white sheet, only its dark haired head visible.

When she noticed him arrive, Rinoa looked up at him, smiling tiredly but happily, "Squall, come meet your son."

As on instinct, he walked closer to them, his eyes locked on the tiny human being Rinoa was holding. The second Squall saw the baby's face, a rush of probably every emotion he ever had experienced – along with a few he couldn't recognize – washed over him. It was so overwhelming he hardly could breathe, much less speak. Sinking down to his knees next to the bed, he watched the infant with awe.

Rinoa was amused by her beloved's expression – she had never seen him so utterly stunned or speechless before, "Isn't he beautiful?" she asked, looking back down at the baby. Squall could only nod.

"Want to hold him?"

Squall's gaze flew up to her for a second, but he didn't reply. Not bothering to ask him again, Rinoa simply handed the child over to him, "Here. Just be careful with his head and try to hold him like I did. Doctor Kadowaki taught me how to."

Not seeing he had any other choice, Squall reached up and took the baby into his arms as gently as he possibly could. He was so tiny, so fragile… Squall was almost afraid he would drop him or that he would break between his fingers.

The baby squirmed a little and blinked his eyes open for the first time, looking up at Squall without focusing. His eyes were brown and thin, exact copies of Rinoa's. That was when Rinoa's words came back to Squall, and he finally began to realize it.

Their son.

(MY son.)

(I'm a father…)

All the emotions welled up in him again, and Squall couldn't help himself. He started to smile, then grin, and suddenly, he was laughing, "Rinoa, we have a son!" he said, as if it was news to her.

Rinoa looked at him in surprise, though. She had never seen Squall laugh either, and she doubted he even had laughed before at all, but the sight pleased her. She laughed in return and nodded, leaning forward to hug him, "Yes, we do! We do, and he's perfect."

His laugh quickly faded to a weak smile, then vanished completely as he tasted the other feelings. A bit of regret, a whole lot of confusion, and an almost unbearable amount of fear, that cast a dark shadow upon his happiness. Squall closed his eyes for a second as Rinoa pulled back from him again, then looked back down at the baby, before giving him back to his mother.

Despite how tired she felt, Rinoa noticed the sudden change, "Squall, are you all right?" she asked, holding the child tightly against her chest and letting him feed.

(I don't know…)

He felt dizzy again, and was getting a headache, "You probably need to rest," was all he said, changing the subject.

"So do you," Rinoa said, glancing at the clock on the table, "It's past midnight…," she blinked, "Hey, that means you're 18."

Squall blinked, "What?"

"It's the 23rd of August. It's your birthday," Rinoa smiled.

"Oh…," Squall put a hand to his forehead and nodded. That was true.

She giggled, "What a birthday gift, huh? Happy birthday, Squall."

Just in that second, Doctor Kadowaki came in, "Rinoa, you should really get some sleep now. The others can see you tomorrow," she took the infant away from the young mother and laid it in a small baby bed next to where Rinoa was lying, "Squall, maybe you should get some rest too?"

He shook his head quickly, "I'd rather stay here."

Kadowaki frowned a little, "Well, there aren't any extra beds… And you could disturb Rinoa."

This time, Rinoa was the first to protest, "No, let him stay. I feel better that way."

The Doctor sighed, "As you wish. But you must sleep, Miss Heartilly," with that, she left them alone.

Rinoa smiled at Squall, then closed her eyes. It didn't take long before her breath became slower and she slipped off to dream world.

Squall found himself a chair and sat next to the bed, watching the girl sleep, the headache pounding between his eyes.

(It hasn't even been a year…)

(I was 17, asocial, friendless and trapped in my own, little world. All I cared about was becoming a SeeD and be better than Seifer. Then, as if it was a sign… the day I got this scar, everything started to change.)

(The same day I met her for the first time…)

(Then the whole battle with Ultimecia… Seifer went crazy, Matron was possessed, then I found out about my past in the orphanage… And Rinoa. Saving Rinoa in space, getting her back from the Sorceress Memorial…)

(She really did turn my universe upside down and forced me out of my solitary world. Look at us now. Look at me now.)

(I'm 18, Commander of Balamb Garden and father to Rinoa's child.) 

(I never planned this. It's insane.)

(Just insane.)

Unable to figure out whether he should be happy or upset, Squall turned to look out of the infirmary's window, staring out at the dark night.

And he could have sworn that was a shooting star he saw crossing the sky.

Chapter 23:

"He's just so CUTE, Rinoa!" Selphie never got tired of repeating that sentence. She giggled and rocked the little child back and forth in her arms, "Hey there, mini-Squall. It's auntie Sefie. Can you say Sefie? Sef-ieeee…"

"Selphie, the kid's three days old. You don't seriously expect him to talk, do ya?" Zell commented, smirking. He and Selphie were visiting Squall and Rinoa's apartment, mostly because he had been the only one not busy at the moment and Selphie had dragged him with her to see the baby yet again.

"Well, you never know," Selphie pouted. The baby suddenly woke and looked up at her, "Oh! He's awake! Doesn't he just have the most adorable brown eyes!"

Rinoa, who was sitting next to Selphie in the couch, glanced over at them curiously, "Strange… I thought babies usually cry when they wake up. He's just so quiet… Too quiet, almost," she took her son out of Selphie's arms to let him nurse.

"As Squall's his dad, I don't really find that so strange," Zell muttered, then grinned, "You know, I can just imagine Squall changing diapers…"

"Oh, I think I'll take care of those," Rinoa laughed, "For now."

Just at that moment, Squall entered the room. He was frowning, but no one really took notice of that – it wasn't exactly an unusual sight.

"What did the Headmaster want?" Rinoa asked, looking over to him.

Squall didn't answer, he just glared at Selphie and Zell, "Which one of you guys are responsible of this?"

Selphie blinked and looked at Zell, who looked just as oblivious as her, "Responsible for what?" Zell asked.

"Inviting President Loire and Ellone here – in my name," Squall seemed quite displeased. He didn't mind Ellone visiting, but if there was one person he'd rather not see at the moment, it was Laguna.

"Sis and Laguna are coming here?!" Zell really sounded surprised.

Selphie leapt out of the couch and bounced about on the floor, "Woo-hoo! Sir Laguna's coming here again!"

Guessing none of them had done it, Squall sighed and went over to sit down next to Rinoa.

"It was probably one of the others…," Rinoa suggested, "Most likely Quistis. She was talking about how Laguna had the right to see his… err… grandson…"

"Great. Just great," Squall put a hand to his forehead, glancing sideways at the baby.

"Hey… You shouldn't be so hard on him. I mean, he did help us a lot when we fought Ultimecia, ….and after all, he is-," Rinoa paused, seeing Squall's expression.

(Please don't say it.)

"…The President of Esthar," she finished, "So, I'm just saying… Be a little polite."

"Fine," Squall sighed again and looked down at the floor.

Zell cleared his throat, "So, like… Have you guys thought of a name yet?" he asked, in a rather successful attempt at changing the subject.

Squall almost seemed surprised, as if the thought of the baby needing a name hadn't occurred to him before now. Rinoa, however, looked thoughtfully down at the child, "I've been thinking about a few names…," she admitted.

"Let's hear 'em!" Selphie said enthusiastically.

"Okay," Rinoa mused, looking over at Squall. Simply assuming he didn't have any suggestions, she started listing the names, "At first, I thought about something to match Squall's name… Like Storm… or even Leon. But I didn't think those quite fit to such a little boy."

"So, I started to think about my parents' names. Julia could be turned into Julian… Then there's Phillip, of course, but…," she wrinkled her nose, "Then I was reminded of this story Edea told me once."

(This could take all day…)

"When she was on the White SeeD ship, she raised a boy who was small and black haired, but even if he wasn't so strong physically, he was a really strong person inside…," she said softly, "Smart, kind, helpful… Just the kind of son I want," she smiled, "His name was Adrian."

"Adrian?" Zell shrugged, "That's kind of nice…"

"You're going to call him Adrian?" Selphie smiled, "I like it!"

Rinoa smiled softly still and glanced over at the young man sitting next to her, "I don't know… Squall, what do you think?"

(Adrian? Well, I suppose… It's as good as any other name.)

He shrugged, "Whate- Uh, I mean… Sure. Sounds good to me."

The young mother frowned at him, then smirked, "You could try to seem a bit more interested. It's your son's name we're talking about – the name he's going to have for the rest of his life."

"I'm not good with names. I like Adrian. Really," he tried to reassure her, looking at the baby with a little, forced smile just to prove it.

"Adrian," Rinoa tasted the name, "Adrian Heartilly Leonhart…"

"Heartilly? Squall, don't tell me you still haven't-" Zell suddenly got punched rather hard in the side by Selphie. He yelped and coughed, stumbling a bit backwards.

"Oops! Sorry!" Selphie patted him on the shoulder, "There was a big bug on you. So I kinda removed it before it could do anything… you'd regret, you know?"

Zell glared at her, rubbing his side, but he didn't say anything. Rinoa watched them both oddly, "What?"

Squall just shook his head. Selphie tugged on Zell's arm, "C'mon, we gotta go. You promised to help me prepare for the Garden Festival, remember?"

Zell blinked, "Hey! I thought that wasn't for another… 6 months or so!"

"Well, I'm pulling it off a little early… You know, to celebrate Adrian. Come now," she continued to pull him towards the door. Zell rolled his eyes, then shot Squall a look and mouthed 'chicken' to him, before leaving the room along with Selphie.

Rinoa giggled, "They're so sweet."

"Whatever," Squall murmured.

"Squall… is there something on your mind?"

(Apart from the fact that I'm going to kill Quistis for inviting Laguna?)

(Well… all right then.)

"Well… actually, yes."

"Wow! I think that's the first time you haven't replied with 'nothing' or 'not really'. Can it be possible that you're starting to get less predictable?" Rinoa teased, giggling again.

"Whatever. Look, seems like Adrian's asleep… Why don't you put him in his bed? There's something I… need to tell you."

(Might as well get it over with…)

Rinoa blinked, both confused and curious now. She nodded and carried the boy over to the baby bed, then turned towards Squall again, "I'm all ears."

Squall sighed softly and rose, walking over to her. He spent a few seconds trying to figure out what to say before putting his hand in his pocket and pulling something out… Then, he reached out with his other hand to grab one of Rinoa's hands, gracefully letting the small, silver ring slip onto her finger. It was an almost perfect copy of his own Griever ring. Zell certainly hadn't been kidding when he said he was good at this kind of thing.

Staring at the ring with wide eyes, Rinoa couldn't believe what was happening. For a moment, she thought Squall was joking – then again, he never joked. Looking up at his face again, she noticed his frown and normally plain expression had been replaced by a questioning, almost pleading look.

"Will you…?" he asked. He didn't need to say more.

That was about as romantic as Squall could get, but in Rinoa's eyes, it was just perfect. She smiled widely and threw herself at him, almost throwing him off balance, "Oh, Squall, I thought you'd never ask!"

He seemed to be caught a bit off guard, but slowly smiled and started to say something. But Rinoa suddenly pulled away and playfully slapped his shoulder, "Evil you! I was worried to death when I couldn't find your ring, and you said it had probably fallen off when I slept. Pfft," she giggled and took off her necklace, picking off the original Griever ring.

Quickly, she put the ring onto his finger where it belonged, then held his hand with both of hers.

"Well, will you?" Squall asked again. She looked up into his eyes – she wasn't laughing anymore.

"There's nothing I want more," she whispered, and reached up to kiss him.

Chapter 24:

"Well, Ellone said Laguna would only come if you invited him," Quistis watched Squall calmly, her arms crossed in front of her. He was holding a hand to his forehead, and she wondered if he would ever notice that he did that too often, "What else could I do?"

"How about NOT inviting him?" he snapped back at her, frowning.

(Why do you care, anyway? Are you doing this to make up for not having a family yourself?)

"Just talk with him, Squall. It won't hurt. I'm sure you still want to ask him about things…"

(The less I know, the better.)

"…and if you won't talk with him, let him see Adrian, at least," Quistis sighed and shook her head, "You're way too stubborn."

"Whatever," Squall turned and looked out at the grassy plains of Balamb. The view was perfect from the Quad's balcony. Of course, he had been a fool to think he could be alone – Quistis had found him only 10 minutes after he had snuck out there. He could see that the Ragnarok had finally landed not too far away, and small, human shapes emerged from it. Even from this distance, he could recognize two of them.

"I don't know about you, but I'm going to say hello to Sis," the blonde woman said quickly and started to walk away.

He sighed, slowly, and leaned his arms against the balcony's edge. Far below, he saw Selphie run out from Garden and towards the approaching couple, instantly throwing her arms around Ellone's neck in a hug. Irvine appeared next, accompanied by Zell and Bella. They started to talk, and he could almost hear them in his mind, asking 'Where's Squall?'

Abruptly, he left the balcony before they could accidentally spot him.

… … …

"Quistis?" Rinoa asked as she saw the other female walk down the hall and towards the Garden Entrance, "Where's Squall?"

Quistis snorted softly, "I don't think he wants to come. We'll just go greet them without him."

Rinoa sighed and glanced down at the baby in her arms, "I wanted him to be there… You know, three generations together," she smiled bitterly, "My father is a President too, but he doesn't even have time to visit… I wish Squall would open his eyes and see how eager Laguna is to get along with him. It's just so hard for him to forgive…"

"Rinoa…," Quistis walked over and put a hand around her shoulders, "You've done so much for him, but I think he'll have to figure out this one on his own. He simply refuses to listen to any of us. I give up. If he wants to go around and try to forget about it for the rest of his life, then so be it," she paused, looking towards the exit, "Somehow, I doubt the GFs will let him forget this, though."

The two of them looked at each other quietly, then Rinoa nodded.

"Come on. Let's go see the President," Quistis said.

… … …

"Guess we should go inside," Zell suggested, looking around, "Maybe they're waiting there."

Laguna seemed nervous; but then again, who could blame him? Evidently, he was going to meet his only grandson for the first time, and a son who hated him. So it wasn't so strange that he was reluctant to step inside the large Garden.

"Ellone!" they heard Quistis' familiar voice call out, and turned to see the two girls walking towards them, one holding a small baby.

"Quistis," Ellone smiled and went over to hug her friend, "Long time, no see."

"President Laguna," Rinoa offered in a greeting, smiling shyly at the tall man. Studying him, she could actually see a little bit of Squall in his features… Something she would never dare to tell Squall.

"Is that…?" Laguna's eyes went wide and he slowly moved closer to Rinoa, staring curiously at her child.

"Yes," Rinoa allowed him to get a better look at the infant, "He's only a week old…"

"Oh… my," was all Laguna could say. Then he smiled widely, "It's my grandson! Oh, he's just lovely. So… little! Look at those tiny fingers!" The crowd gathered around him couldn't help but smile at Laguna's reaction. He looked up at Rinoa again, "Can I hold him? What's his name?"

She opened her mouth to reply, but didn't get the chance as someone else replied from behind her, "Adrian."

Everybody was slightly surprised when they saw Squall walk towards them. He didn't look directly at Laguna, and expression was non-existent, "And he's not… your grandson."

"Squall…," Rinoa hissed softly.

Laguna watched the young man with dismay, and not a little bit of disappointment, "Hello, Squall," he said silently.

Ignoring the greeting and the expressions of his friends – which ranged from surprise to annoyance, Squall went to stand next to his fiancée, "I didn't invite you. Quistis did," he said flatly.

Rinoa swallowed at the tension that filled the air. Nobody said anything, they didn't really dare to. The situation was about as awkward as it could get. She took notice of Laguna's extremely hurt look, and suddenly felt an unexpected anger towards Squall. It could be so simple. He could have just offered a polite greeting and accepted the fact that Laguna was related to him, whether he liked it or not, but instead he denied it.

It didn't matter that he had changed so much during these last months, at least towards her. As soon as Laguna arrived, gone was the Squall she knew and loved, replaced by someone bitter and vengeful. It could be so simple, so why did he have to make it so difficult? Would she ever be able to understand Squall completely?

And it was she who spoke first, as she handed the boy in her arms over to his father, "Here, hold Adrian," was all she said, in a shaky voice, before turning and walking away quickly.

(What did I do now?)

"Rinoa!" Selphie cried and ran after the other girl, followed by Bella. Quistis mumbled a 'Nice going' to Squall as she passed by.

Irvine and Zell looked at each other, then tried to discreetly leave the scene and bring Ellone with them.

(Oh, wonderful. Leave me trapped here with Laguna…)

Squall frowned and tried to hold Adrian the best he could, still not used to doing much but watch the little boy. It didn't make it any better when the baby woke and started to cry, and Squall was clueless about how to make him stop.

Laguna cleared his voice, "So… I hear you're getting married," he tried in a bad attempt at starting a conversation.

Not replying, Squall looked helplessly in the direction Rinoa had went off to. Adrian continued to scream, and he didn't know what else to do but to hold him.

(Please, shut up…)

He felt the familiar headache return for about the tenth time that day.

"Let me try," Laguna offered, reaching out with his arms to take the baby, but Squall took a step back and held his son as if protecting him from some kind of monster.

"Don't try to play grandfather, Laguna. I don't want to start some sort of family thing-,"

"Seems like you already did," Laguna pointed out, finding enough courage to throw an insult back for once.

"-Whatever! You're not a part of my family, and you never will be. Blame it on yourself," Squall glared angrily at the President, before carrying the crying boy back towards Garden.

Laguna watched him leave, shaking his head slowly to himself, before turning to walk back to the Ragnarok. His crew was inside, but not wanting to bother them, he simply sat down on the ladder leading to the door and put his face in his hands. Quietly, he spoke to himself under his breath, "Did I do this to you…?"

Chapter 25:

[The boy was sitting on the bare ground, leaning his back against the cold stone wall. He couldn't be more than 6 or 7 years old, but his face was already carrying that empty, plain expression of loneliness. The frown seemed to be too much for such a young child, the pain too heavy to bear, but he bit his lip and lived through another day.]

[There was something silver in his hands, attached to a necklace that seemed too big for him. It was the shape of Griever, the ultimate GF. He toyed with it, letting it slip from one hand to another.]

(…?)

[A girl stepped over to him, intruding his solitary, little world. She had strawberry blonde hair and ice blue eyes. Even for an 8 year old, she was very beautiful. Without waiting for an invitation, she sat down next to him, "Hi."]

[She received no reply. Instead, the boy plainly ignored her, still staring at the jewelry his mother gave him on the day he was born. Bossy and persistent as ever, she continued to speak, even though she knew he would rather be alone, "They're coming to get me in a week. My new parents."]

[Still no reply. She took in a breath and glanced at him, trying to meet his steel blue, cold eyes that were hidden behind bangs of dark hair, but in vain, "Maybe I'll never see you guys again. I'm going to miss you," she paused, her expression suddenly sad, "Squall, do you ever wonder who your real parents are? …I think about mine all the time."]

[A shadow crossed the boy's face, "They're dead," he whispered. The girl frowned, but went on talking, "I bet my mom was really nice. She'd bake me cookies and teach me how to. And my dad was a war hero and everybody looked up to him, and would tell me how lucky I was to be his daughter…," she glanced dreamingly out towards the ocean, "Now I'm gonna have a family… But it's weird, 'cause now I don't really want to leave. You're my family, all of you."]

["Quisty…," the boy said silently, eventually looking up at her. And as if he hadn't heard what she said at all, he asked, out of the blue, "Do you think Sis's coming back?" – But he had heard her. And he replied by speaking of the only family he had ever known, the one who had been closest to him.]

["I dunno," the girl replied, "But I miss her too. Don't even know where she went… I hope she's coming back to you. I won't see her, 'cause I'm going with the Trepes, you know."]

(Sis isn't coming back…)

["I wish I had a family…," Squall closed his eyes, and Quistis blinked at the sudden sadness in his tone. She wanted to say something, but he suddenly glared at her, "Go. Go to your new parents and be happy. See if I care," he snapped and rose, running down to the beach and leaving a hurt and confused Quistis behind.]

… … …

(Let me wake. Stop this.)

["Uncle Laguna?" the voice came softly. A brown haired head peeked inside the room from the door, and the President looked up from the picture he held in his hand. It was a picture that was taken the last time he was in Balamb Garden, a picture of him, Ellone and Rinoa, who was holding a small baby in her arms. But someone was missing. The most important person was missing.]

(Oh please, not this…)

[Laguna blinked, seeming a little confused for a moment, then put the picture down into his drawer quickly and rose from his chair, "Come in, Elle… I was just… ah…finishing off some work."]

["Thinking about them again, aren't you? About him," Ellone asked, not one to be easily fooled by Laguna's attempts to hide his feelings. Unlike someone else in his family, he couldn't lie about what was on his mind for a second.]

(Leave me alone…)

["I can't stop blaming myself, Elle," he whispered, sounding pathetic, "I can't stop thinking I should have come to get you. I was such a coward…," Laguna swallowed, shaking his head and walking over to the window, "I was so selfish… So afraid. So I just buried myself in my work and figured I would be able to forget, that you would be fine. And…you turned out fine, Elle… But he… he's so wounded, and won't even admit it."]

[The girl looked at him sadly. It pained her to see Laguna so hurt, and as on instinct, she promptly went over and hugged him. He was a bit surprised, but smiled softly and returned the embrace, "You mustn't blame yourself, uncle Laguna… It's in the past. You cannot change the past, you can only change the future."]

["I know… I know I can't change the past. But, God, I wish I could. I should have been there when Raine died. I should have been there… to see him be born," he stroked the girl's hair lovingly, holding on to her as her presence comforted him, "I can't change the future either, it seems. He's made up his mind. He doesn't want to forgive… If he just would… accept me… Allow me to hug him, just once, just let me know he is real… Then I would be satisfied. That's all I ask. Allow me to let his son know he has a grandfather."]

(Oh, hell… I don't want to hear this!)

[Suddenly, Laguna blinked again, then frowned and let go of Ellone, looking down at the 23 year old woman almost sternly, "Ellone, do you have someone 'connected' to me?"]

[She seemed confused, "No… Not yet, at least," a sudden, sheepish smile crossed her face.]

… … …

Squall woke with a start, sitting up in his bed quickly and looking around, letting his eyes adjust to the darkness. Then he looked down at his fiancée who was sleeping next to him, and let out a quiet breath of relief. It was his room, his family, and he wasn't alone anymore.

As he thought about what he had experienced, his eyes narrowed in realization. They just couldn't stay out of his business, could they? Shaking his head to himself, he laid down again and tried to go back to sleep…

(Nice try, Sis… Nice try.)


	6. Chapters 26 - 30

Chapter 26:

Three years later…

It was rather early in the morning, and as usual, Quistis walked through the empty halls of Balamb Garden, on her way to the cafeteria. She liked to have a peaceful breakfast before most others had gotten out of bed, and be able to enjoy her coffee without getting interrupted.

After delivering a book she had borrowed at the library, she passed the dormitory on her way back. She wasn't surprised to see Squall approach from that direction – he was usually up early too – and offered him a smile and waved at him. He, of course, merely nodded in return.

But he wasn't alone. Quistis giggled as she watched the small boy run up behind his father, insisting on holding his hand. Squall sighed quietly to himself, but took the little hand offered to him and walked the rest of the way over to Quistis.

They looked so cute together, Quistis thought. Adrian was like a small copy of Squall, only with his mother's hair- and eye color. His hair was the same wild, too long style of Squall's hair, even. Rinoa had tried to cut Adrian's hair once, but he had simply refused – he wanted to look like daddy.

In many ways, even Adrian's personality was similar to Squall's. For a three year old, he was unusually quiet and liked to stay away from the other children. Of course, the only other children at Garden were the young Junior Classmen, from the age of 5 to 10. Still, Adrian had inherited a lot of Rinoa's spunky nature and charm too. He smiled a lot, laughed a lot, and got along well with all of his parents' friends. Quistis could only speak for herself, but she had a good feeling the others thought Adrian was as adorable as she did.

Rinoa had taken on the role of a mother quite naturally. Her warm attitude matched perfectly with Adrian's need for care and attention, even if she was young. And as Squall was busy being Commander of Garden, she was the one who usually took care of their son. Quistis had noticed that Squall felt visibly awkward as a father. He didn't know what to expect, didn't know how to behave in different situations, didn't know what he should say and what he shouldn't. In short, he didn't know how a child's mind worked, as he could hardly remember anything of his own childhood. A childhood that had ended long before it should have, anyway.

Adrian looked up to his father. How couldn't he? Stories about Squall's heroic deeds during the battle against the Sorceress were told every day in Garden, and as soon as the young boy knew enough words to understand them, he pictured Squall as a hero, despite Squall's attempts at explaining he had simply been doing what he had to do.

Squall had improved, though. He would never open up in front of Quistis, but she observed him with his wife and son from time to time, and he did seem happy with them. Yet, Quistis had a feeling there was constantly something on Squall's mind, something he would never admit, but she couldn't put her finger on exactly what it was. Maybe it was Laguna. Maybe it was something else.

"Morning," she offered as the two of them reached her, "Rinoa's not up yet?"

Squall shook his head, "She's in the shower. Adrian woke us. Again."

Quistis laughed, "Well, who can blame him? Don't you just love getting up 5 am in the morning?" she glanced down at the boy who smiled shyly up at her, then let he go of Squall's hand and scampered off. Squall merely rolled his eyes.

"Did you hear the news?" the instructor asked, looking back up at Squall, "The rebel prisoner, Lyach, committed suicide a couple of days ago."

He frowned, "How did that happen?"

"It appears he used the knife from his dinner plate to… Well, I'm sure you can imagine. No wonder, though – he's been in there for three and a half years," Quistis shook her head lightly, "After the fights that ended two years ago, it's been quiet over in Galbadia. I just hope Xar and his gang really have given up after being defeated so harshly. It'd be nice with peace all over the world for once."

"Don't count on it," Squall said, "They've been quiet, yes – too quiet. I wouldn't be surprised if they… ADRIAN! Don't climb there!"

He bolted past Quistis, and she turned in time to see Squall grab Adrian, who was just inches from slipping off the hall's fence and falling into the water below.

Squall placed his mildly confused son back onto the floor, "Are you crazy?? You could have drowned!" he more or less yelled in the boy's face. Adrian stared up at him with wide, brown eyes for a second, then started crying.

"Squall…," Quistis said.

Putting a hand to his forehead, Squall sighed, "Great…," he glanced back down at the sobbing kid, "Adrian, look, I…"

"Commander Leonhart, please report to the Headmaster's office right away. I repeat: Squall, get up here. It's important."

Squall mumbled something that sounded vaguely like 'Wonderful timing', then picked up Adrian – who was still crying – and handed him to Quistis, "I have to go. Bring him back to Rinoa, will you? Thanks."

Quistis nodded and watched Squall leave, then tried to calm Adrian down, "Hey, your dad just didn't want you to fall into the water," she said softly, carrying him over to the fence again and pointing down with one finger, "See? You'd get all wet, and mommy would have to give you a bath, too. Wouldn't want that, hmm?"

Adrian shook his head faintly, and she smiled and kissed his cheek, "Come on, let's go back to your apartment."

"Sir?" Squall asked as he entered the office. To his surprise, Cid wasn't alone. Edea and Xu were both there, and their expressions were solemn.

"Squall, I'm glad you came," Cid said, rising from his chair, "I'll get straight to business: There's been put a dramatic end to the peace in Galbadia. After this Lyach fellow's suicide, Xar suddenly showed up again, and it seems like he's been doing a good job during these two years. He's back with a much bigger army than last time, possibly one that could put up quite a match to President Caraway's own forces."

(I feared something like this would happen…)

"But there's more," Xu spoke up, "Not only has a civil war broken out between Xar and Caraway's followers, but Xar's army is also attacking both Dollet and Timber. I'm afraid Galbadia will need immediate help from Garden, or they might actually destroy each other and leave the entire continent in shambles. Galbadia Garden has probably vanished in the sea, and Trabia Garden doesn't have enough SeeDs trained yet, so Balamb Garden will have to manage on its own again."

"Shall I prepare a team, then, Sir?" Squall asked in his usual emotionless tone, glancing back at the Headmaster.

(Why aren't the others here? Zell, Irvine, Quistis, Selphie… They should be part of this, too.)

Cid frowned lightly, looking over his glasses and at Edea. She gave him a nod, and he turned back to Squall, "Um… It's not that simple, Squall. This task will take more than a good Commander to lead the attacks. Garden needs a strong leader in general, to organize the teams and make the important decisions. I can not handle this great responsibility any longer… I am getting older, and I fear this will take more than what I have to offer."

Slowly, Squall's expressionless features changed into a look of mixed shock and dread.

(What exactly is he saying…?)

"Balamb Garden needs someone like you, Squall. Everybody here looks up to you as an example of who they want to be. Their memory of what you accomplished gives them something to fight for, and they are willing to do anything you tell them to do. If anyone can guide Garden through this, you can."

(He can't be serious…)

"Sir, I…"

Cid cleared his voice and connected the intercom, "Students of Garden. I apologize for disturbing you in these early morning hours, but I must inform you that we have another important mission ahead of us soon. I will also take the opportunity to announce that as of today, I, Cid Kramer, step down as Headmaster of Balamb Garden-,"

(No, please. Not that. Cid, you can't do this to me.)

"And I will pass on my responsibilities to Commander Squall Leonhart. He is the natural choice, after four years of showing us his skill as Commander-,"

(Skill? I fought for my own survival and won, and then suddenly everybody worshipped me. It's not like I asked for this…)

"I trust him to lead Garden better than I was able to-,"

(I didn't ask for this.)

(Any of it.)

"So, please show him your greatest respect and welcome him as the new Headmaster of Garden. Squall, a few words?"

(They always want to know how I feel. Well, this one time when I'd like to have a say in it, they didn't bother to ask.)

Squall blinked and looked at Xu, Edea and Cid's expectant faces, and started to say something, but faltered. Frowning, he quickly pulled back on his mask of indifference, "I have nothing to say, Sir."

"Oh, come on, Squall dear," Edea spoke mildly, "They expect you to say something."

(Exactly. They expect it. Are they all blind? I'm terrible as a leader. How did I go from Lone Wolf to hero? What exactly went through their minds that made them change their opinion of me? The others were there too. They seem to forget that… I wasn't alone.)

"Fine," Squall promptly turned on the mic, "This is Comman-… Headmaster Squall Leonhart," he didn't like the sound of that, "I just wanted to say… I'll do my best in this position and… good luck to us all in the upcoming mission."

"Short and sweet," Xu commented.

"Whatever," Squall muttered.

"Squall, is there something troubling you?" Edea asked, sounding concerned.

"You do look worried," Cid pointed out.

"Not really. I'm fine," Squall replied curtly, "What are you going to do now, Headmas-… Sir… I mean, Cid?"

"Well, I'm going with my wife to open the new orphanage by the coast of Balamb," Cid smiled, "It's time to slow down and relax after everything that has happened."

(Sure… run from your problems, Cid. Like I haven't been through the same things. Barely 21 years old and Headmaster. This is ridiculous.)

Squall nodded, "Good luck."

There was an odd moment of silence. Then Cid started laughing and said, "You don't need to wait for anyone to dismiss you, Squall. This is your office now. Xu will help you out if you have any questions."

"Oh," Squall said lamely, "Of course. Thank you. I'll… Xu, would you care to fill me in further on Galbadia's situation?"

"Certainly," Xu replied, "Just step over here to your desk, and I'll explain."

"We'll leave you alone," Cid smiled again and took his wife's arm, then the two of them left the office.

And as usual, Squall let the responsibility be pushed upon his shoulders without complaining or even saying a word. He sat down in the chair that up until now had been Cid's, and began to figure out his first duties as Headmaster…

Chapter 27:

When Squall arrived in the cafeteria a couple of hours later, all his friends were there, waiting for him. They were sitting by their usual table, chatting eagerly about something – he didn't care to find out what, and he didn't get the chance either. Selphie saw him before he could reach the table and pointed, then everybody turned to him.

"Congratulations, Squall!" they cheered.

"Imagine, Squall as Headmaster. I had no idea!" Quistis said.

Squall pulled out a chair and sat down, muttering, "Whatever," He wasn't happy about his new situation at all.

"Squall, you really ought to expand your vocabulary, especially now when you're in charge of Garden," Rinoa smiled warmly and walked over to his chair, wrapping her arms around her husband's neck and kissing his cheek. Adrian followed her and tried to climb up into Squall's lap. Squall simply lifted the boy up without a word. The others didn't seem to notice his lack of enthusiasm, or they were so used to it they didn't care.

"Hey, Squall, check this out!" Zell said, looking at Adrian, "Adrian, what do you wanna be when you grow up?"

"Like dad!" was the child's immediate answer. He smiled and looked up at Squall, hoping for a smile in return. Squall sighed.

"Isn't that cool? I hope my kid will be like that," Zell continued, which earned him a puzzled glance from the young and newly appointed Headmaster.

"Your kid?"

Bella nodded quickly and took Zell's hand, squeezing it tightly, "We're going to have a baby," she said, voice filled with pride as she put her other hand on her stomach. Zell was beaming.

"Really," Squall answered flatly. Looking at the others, he could tell from their expressions that they already knew, and were expecting him to say something else, "Well… that's great. But what do you know about kids, Zell?"

Zell shrugged, "No more than you, I guess. But Matron will help us out."

"Yes, we're getting married and moving with Edea and Cid to their new orphanage," Bella smiled, "Isn't that wonderful?"

(They're leaving…?)

"You're quitting SeeD?" Squall looked baffled. Why hadn't anybody told him about this? Why was he always the last to know things?

"Yeah. It's kinda too much of a risky job when you have a family. Don't wanna go off on a mission and not return, you know?" Zell said softly. Again, Bella nodded.

"That's… Well… Good luck," Squall blinked.

Rinoa frowned slightly and moved around to look into his eyes, "Squall, are you all right?"

"Yeah. Yeah… Just too many news at once, I guess," he looked up at her and tried to offer a weak smile, but Rinoa saw right through his fake smiles. Maybe he was smiling more often than he did four years ago, but sometimes he used them as a disguise for his true feelings. She could tell he was upset about something, but decided against asking.

"Well, there's more!" Selphie said suddenly, "You know that Trabia Garden's been rebuilt, right?"

"Yes…"

"Guess what!" Selphie smiled widely and giggled, "They offered me to be the Headmistress! Isn't that weird? Both you and me are gonna lead Gardens. We can work together and stuff!"

"You're going to Trabia?" Squall was even more surprised.

(Is everybody leaving?)

Selphie nodded, "Yup! Tee hee! And Irvy is coming with me, too. He's gonna help me with all the organizing and stuff."

(They must be insane. Selphie as Headmistress? She hasn't really matured much the last few years…)

"Wherever Sefie goes, I go," Irvine added, titling his cowboy hat with his hand.

Squall took in a short breath. The news came as a shock to him, but his own emotions surprised him even more. He didn't know why he felt so reluctant about the four of them leaving. Zell, Selphie, Irvine… They had been his friends. They WERE his friends. Along with Rinoa and Quistis, they were the only friends he had, in fact. Now, all of a sudden, they were leaving Garden? No more missions together… No more 'girl tips' from Irvine, no more of Selphie's Garden Festivals and no more Zell and his hot dogs and stupid comments. He was going to… miss them…

"Quistis?" he asked suddenly, looking over at the oldest member of the gathering.

"What? Oh, no, I'm staying here… Balamb Garden is my home," Quistis smiled smugly.

"I saw that!" Selphie exclaimed, pointing an accusing finger at Quistis.

"Saw what?" the blonde woman asked innocently.

"That smile! And the way your eyes have been sparkling the last days. Quisty is in loooo-veee!" Selphie giggled with delight.

Quistis frowned at Selphie with mocked shock, "Am not!"

"Are too! Come on, tell us! Who is it?"

"Yeah, tell us!" Bella insisted.

"Well…," Quistis said shyly, reminding Squall of one of those giggly teenager girls that were new to Garden, "There is this instructor… The new one…"

"Oh, what's his name?" Selphie was practically lying across the table now, and Squall wondered what was so intriguing about other people's love-life. Losing interest in the conversation, as everybody were busy asking Quistis about this male instructor now, he lost himself in his own thoughts again.

Nevertheless, he was glad Quistis would stay in Garden. There was no way he would admit it openly, but it was going to be lonely when the friend group was reduced from seven to three. The fact that he would soon lead Balamb Garden's SeeDs into another war didn't make things easier. He'd have to do it alone.

Feeling short arms around his neck, Squall snapped out of his thoughts and glanced down at his son, who was still in his lap. Adrian was hugging him for no apparent reason, and Rinoa was watching them with a small smile. Squall paused for a second, then hugged the boy in return and smiled quietly to himself. Or maybe he wasn't alone… He wouldn't be alone.

It was the calm before the storm…

Chapter 28:

Squall had expected that being Headmaster would be hell.

And it was.

There seemed to be no end to the reports, requests and all the other paperwork that kept flowing in. This wasn't what he was trained to do! He was trained as a SeeD, to fight, not to lead a Garden. He kept asking himself; what had Cid been thinking? Didn't he see what a lousy job Squall did as a leader?

The content of the reports made it all worse, too. Just as Squall finished reading through 10 requests from Galbadia, and appointing several SeeDs to three of the missions, Xu stepped inside the office. She was carrying another bunch of papers. Sighing, Squall pressed a hand to his forehead, "What is it now?"

"Um… Well, first of all, President Loire called again…," Xu said slowly.

"And I don't want to see him! Didn't he get the hint when I didn't invite him to the wedding?" Squall frowned.

"I assumed that much," Xu smirked briefly, but then her expression turned deadly serious, "Sir, I suggest you look through these right away… I appears we lost another three SeeDs…"

(Oh no, not again…)

"Another three? Xu, this is unacceptable," he shook his head, "We can't keep fighting Galbadia's wars for them. We have to put an end to this, or we'll lose all our SeeDs."

(And while they're out there getting themselves killed, I just sit here and do nothing… Damn it, I should be out there! I should be the one fighting. I wanted to become a SeeD, not a Headmaster.)

"Sir, it's the rebels against the Galbadians, and we're caught in the middle of it. It seems like the rebels are losing, but it might be another one of their tricks…," Xu narrowed her eyes, "We believe their true goal is to reach President Caraway. He'll need protection… But that would probably be a very dangerous mission."

Squall looked up at her, then stared down at the desk. Suddenly, he stood up and said firmly, "I'll do it."

Xu's eyes widened, "What? Sir, you have to maintain Garden. We can't afford…"

"…we can't afford the death of any more SeeDs," Squall interrupted her, "We have to get rid of the rebel leader, Xar, and if he's after Caraway, he will most likely want to do the dirty work himself - like last time. And Xar is smart. I don't… I can't just stay here and hear about the events afterwards through reports. I have to be there."

Squall's personal interest in the case surprised Xu. Of course, it was in personal interest of everybody, since Galbadia was a large country with enough forces to wipe out the entire Balamb continent. The violent rebels had to be stopped from getting control over Galbadia, "Well, I suppose I can take care of the reports and such… Nida will help me, I'm sure. Besides, it might be a good idea for you to be with the other SeeDs… You're a strong leader. They'll feel more confident with you there."

"Whatever," Squall sighed.

(President Caraway must live… I have to ensure that. If he is killed and Xar becomes the new President, Galbadia will be ruined… That man is power hungry. Maybe he'd even attack Balamb… and Esthar. …And Caraway is Rinoa's father, after all.)

"I'll go get ready," Squall said, turning to leave the room, "I'll take a ship to Dollet already this evening, so you're in charge until I come back."

Xu blinked, "You're planning to go alone?"

He turned and looked at her, shrugging, "There are other SeeDs fighting in Dollet, Timber and Deling already. Should there by any problem, I'll contact them."

"Sir…," Xu started, but he was already out of hearing range. Sighing, she went over to his desk and sat down to go through the new reports…

"Squall, I won't allow you to go!" Heads turned as Rinoa came running after Squall from the dormitory, Adrian following a distance behind her. Squall plainly ignored her, continuing down the hall with determined steps. He was dressed in his usual field clothes, and had the shiny blue Lion Heart strapped to his side.

Rinoa finally caught up with him, though, and moved in his way, grabbing both his arms firmly and looking into his eyes, "Don't go."

He drew in a slow breath and tried to pull free from her grasp, "Rinoa, I have to. President Caraway needs protection. His soldiers are good at fighting, but… I don't trust them. If they just do one little mistake…"

"Why can't somebody else go??" Rinoa asked, frustrated. Even Caraway was her father and she wanted him to be safe, she would rather have Squall stay. Adrian stood behind them, watching the scene with huge eyes, but he was quiet.

"Rinoa…"

"Fine! Then I'll go with you," the young Sorceress threw a lock of her long, black hair over her shoulder, then placed her hands on her hips, frowning at Squall.

Squall shook his head quickly, "No, Rinoa. It's too dangerous-"

"…It's dangerous for you too!" Rinoa blinked, her expression hurt and worried. She lowered her voice, whispering, "You could be killed…"

"That's exactly why you have to stay here," Squall ignored the stares from the various students in the hall, reaching forward and taking his wife's hands in his own, "If…," he glanced back at Adrian, and lowered his own voice to a whisper as well, "If I'm killed, then, at least, I will die knowing you and Adrian are safe here… What if you went with me and we both were killed? I couldn't let that happen. I… don't want Adrian to be an orphan, like I was…"

Closing her eyes, Rinoa leaned against his chest and hugged her husband tightly. Squall returned the embrace, inwardly praying it wouldn't be the last time he'd see her…

They were interrupted, though, as they heard the snap of a chain whip. Looking up, Squall saw Quistis walk towards them, dressed in her pink fighting outfit instead of her SeeD uniform.

"Quistis?"

"I'm going with you, Squall," she said, simply, not leaving any room for an argument.

Rinoa turned and looked at the instructor as well, leaning down to lift Adrian onto her arm as he tugged at her skirt.

Squall narrowed his eyes, "What? What about your class?"

"Oh, they'll survive a couple of weeks without me. There are other instructors here, you know," Quistis smirked, "And you need someone to watch your back. Haven't you learned anything? You can't take on the world alone."

"Whatever… We're leaving in 15 minutes," rolling his eyes, Squall turned back to his wife and son, hugging them both quickly before following Quistis towards the Main Entrance.

Rinoa smiled gratefully at Quistis, holding Adrian close to her. She would have put up more of a fight, but she knew she couldn't leave Adrian here alone. As much as she hated to admit it, Squall was right this time… She just wished he didn't have to go, either, "Be careful!" she called after them.

"Mommy, is dad comin' back?" Adrian asked quietly.

"Oh, of course he is, dear," she replied without thinking, smiling reassuringly and kissing his forehead. Then she sighed and started to walk back to the dormitory.

(Be safe, Squall…)

Chapter 29:

After arriving in Dollet, Quistis and Squall rented a car to drive to Deling city. There were still minor fights going on in Dollet's streets, and it was a little difficult to get a car as most were already rented by desperate people who were fleeing the town. There were only two left, and the largest one needed repairs, so the two high ranking SeeDs were forced to rent a small, yellow car that didn't seem particularly strong.

Once out of the town, Quistis was relieved to be out on the calm road. Squall was driving, so she could just lean back and relax. They were driving for about half an hour, and none of them spoke a word. Naturally, Squall was lost in his own void of thoughts, and Quistis was reluctant to disturb him. But eventually, she got bored, and cleared her voice before speaking, "So… Being Headmaster isn't exciting enough for you?"

He gave her a brief, sideways glance, "How so?"

"Well, since you're out here instead of signing reports and reprimanding students running about after curfew," she giggled faintly, "Quite a change, isn't it?"

"Whatever…"

Sighing lightly, Quistis looked out the car window, "Seems like Selphie isn't doing so bad at being Headmistress, either… When I first heard they wanted her in that position, I imagined Trabia Garden being redecorated with pink walls and fluffy couches in the hall instead of benches," she smiled, "But it turns out her skill to organize and encourage fits quite well in her job. The crew and students in Trabia are very pleased with her. It's a bit out of the ordinary, of course… But Irvine helps her out. He's become a Commander, apparently."

"I'm sure she's doing a better job than me at encouraging the students… I just scare them away," Squall replied dully.

He never failed to amaze Quistis whenever he answered anything but 'whatever'. She put a hand to her mouth and giggled, shaking her head, "Oh, come on. They merely respect you."

"Heard anything from Zell?" Squall asked, changing the subject.

"Yeah, actually…Him, Bella, Cid and Edea are doing fine over at the new orphanage. They've gotten 5 new kids there just this last month. He's a bit bored, of course… But he's very excited about the baby he and Bella are having," Quistis glanced back at him, "He urged us all to come and visit as soon as it's born."

Squall simply nodded and the car went silent once more, excepting the idle sound of the motor and the wheels against the road.

"Squall…," Quistis said suddenly, quietly, "How do you… feel about all of this?"

He remained silent for a moment, keeping his eyes on the road, "Honestly, I'm hoping this war will end soon. But it does provide Garden a lot of funding, so-"

"No, no, no," she interrupted, "Not the war… I mean, how do you feel about… everything? Zell, Selphie and Irvine leaving… Cid retiring, you becoming Headmaster… Rinoa… Your son… Your… father…"

She realized she shouldn't have asked when she saw that all too familiar frown appear on his face.

"How I feel doesn't matter. At least not to you."

The first part of his answer annoyed her, but the last part truly hurt Quistis' feelings. She frowned in return and turned in her seat angrily, "You'll never change, will you? You're just so… Oh! I don't know! You never speak unless we force you to! You almost never laugh, and we're lucky if we get to see you smile daily. What's wrong with you? It's been four years… You have Rinoa, you have friends, but still you keep acting like you have to deal with everything alone!"

Gritting his teeth, Squall obviously tried to hold back his own anger, "Whatever, Quistis! Maybe I'll never change – so what? Nor will you, you'll keep asking me to tell you 'how I feel'. What do you want from me? Right now we just need to concentrate on our mission."

She waved a hand at him, "Fine. Whatever. Forget that I ever asked."

After glaring curtly at her for about a second, Squall went back to watching the road. And none of them said another word for the rest of the 2 ½ hours long trip.

There were people fighting everywhere in the area around Deling, and knowing that several SeeDs were fighting amongst them actually had Squall worried. Pushing aside these thoughts, though, he told himself this was what they were trained to do.

The President's Residence was heavily guarded by what seemed to be some of Caraway's most skilled soldiers. Obviously they were fearing an assassination attempt at the President, with good reasons. After the guards had confirmed that they were indeed Balamb Garden SeeDs on a mission, Squall and Quistis went inside the building to meet President Caraway.

Even Caraway's office was guarded by five soldiers, and Squall began to doubt if the Galbadian President really needed their help.

As he saw them enter, Caraway immediately rose from his chair and went to shake hands with them, "Commander Leonhart! It's been a while, hasn't it?"

Squall merely nodded, while Quistis quietly pointed out, "Actually, it's Headmaster Leonhart now…"

"Headmaster? My, my, you do get up in the world rather quickly, don't you?" Caraway looked back at Squall with a somewhat forced grin, "It's a shame I couldn't be there for your marriage… But you know, I couldn't afford to leave Galbadia for a minute as long as Xar is alive. I hope you're taking good care of my daughter. And my grandson."

"Yes, Sir," Squall sighed, "As you know, we are here to ensure your safety, President Caraway."

Caraway nodded, "Yes, of course. Although I doubt it'd be necessary. But my advisors insisted I'd get protection from well trained SeeDs. My soldiers are extremely good at combat, but they're less experienced at things like assassinations and traps, apparently," he paused, rubbing his chin with his hand, "Basically, all you have to do is wander the building and keep a lookout for anything or anyone that seems suspicious. It shouldn't be a very difficult job for you, especially as I doubt Xar dares to attack through all those guards outside. In fact, I'm surprised you came here in person, Leonhart. I'm sure any of your other SeeDs could have done it."

"Until Xar is dead, your survival is vital, Sir. I wish to ensure it in person," Squall said simply. Quistis was quiet, still offended and upset after the conversation in the car.

"Of course. I appreciate it," Caraway responded, "I suggest you begin right away. During the night, the two of you may take shifts so you will be able to get some rest," he turned and went back to his chair, "Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to take some important phone calls. We can speak more later."

"Yes Sir."

"Certainly."

The two SeeDs left the office. In the hall, Squall turned to Quistis before she could walk away, "Hey… I'm… uh… sorry about earlier."

Quistis shrugged, "Thank you, although how you feel doesn't matter, right? At least not to me," she snapped, "Wasn't that what you said?"

Narrowing his eyes, he turned away abruptly and left, "Whatever. I'm going to patrol."

(For once I try to be nice and I get it thrown back in my face.)

(Maybe I deserved that… But why does she need to know, anyway? Like she had the right to know. I… don't feel like telling her how I feel. I don't want to talk about it. It's easier that way.)

Chapter 30:

This mission was far too much like the last time they were here to protect President Caraway. Several days passed by, but nothing happened. Nothing. The difference was that last time, they had all been there… Zell, Irvine, Selphie, Quistis, Rinoa… even Nida and Xu. Now it was just him and Quistis, who wouldn't speak to him, and he wouldn't speak to her either. Not that he cared, of course. He didn't need to talk with anyone.

(Now I'm lying to myself again…)

Sighing, Squall sunk down in a chair in the hall, allowing himself to take a short break after patrolling all night. He just wished this boring mission would come to an end, but there was this gnawing feeling at the back of his mind. He knew better than to assume everything was alright just because that seemed to be the first impression. And something told him things weren't as they seemed to be this time either… Something was wrong, but he couldn't quite figure out what it was… A gut feeling, some people would call it. You can feel it, but not prove it.

Leaning back, he let his mind wander elsewhere…

(Rinoa… How's she doing? I'd like to be with her right now… We could just take a vacation… Go to that flower field by Matron's old orphanage, just the two of us. But that won't happen… Too much to do. You don't always get what you want.)

(And Adrian… Everybody says he's like me, but there's so much of Rinoa in him, too. It's strange to think he really was a mistake… Probably the best mistake I've ever made.)

Squall smiled faintly to himself.

Footsteps were heard down the hall, and the SeeD was on his feet quickly. One of Caraway's guards came walking towards him. Squall could remember seeing him a couple of times before – he could recognize him because he always kept away from the other soldiers and had long hair that covered his face down to his nose almost completely. It looked incredibly stupid, but of course, Squall kept those thoughts to himself like everything else.

To his surprise, the guard didn't walk past him, but stopped and turned to Squall instead, peering at him through a single, emerald green eye that was visible through his long hair. 

"Excuse me…," the soldier asked in a quiet, deep voice, "Do you know where the President is right now? I need to deliver an important message to him…"

Squall watched him blankly for a few seconds. He suddenly had a bad feeling about this guy… That same, nagging feeling at the back of his mind that told him something was wrong. It was annoying.

(I'm probably just paranoid… It comes naturally with all this fighting through the years…)

"Well?"

"I saw him around dawn. He was heading to his balcony to have his breakfast there," Squall answered.

"Thank you," the soldier gave him a quick grin that somehow made Squall feel nervous, then continued on his way.

Unable to shake away that nasty sensation of something being amiss, Squall paced down the hall in the other direction. A message to the President… This early in the morning? Well, that was possible…

(Wait a minute… Wasn't that guy in the outdoor team? Then why is he suddenly walking about delivering messages?)

(He's always keeping his distance from others. Maybe he's just asocial… But his face… Why is he hiding-)

Like a bolt from the sky, realization hit Squall hard. Had he had the time, he would have mentally cursed himself for being so stupid. With one hand ready on the gunblade, he ran as fast as he could towards the President's private room.

He ran right past Quistis, "Squall, what's going on?!" she yelled after him.

"Just follow me!"

"Name, rank, purpose for being here?" The guard outside President Caraway's room watched the other soldier firmly.

"I have an important message to the President," the long haired man insisted, "Please, let me in at once. I'm in a hurry!"

"I can not let you in without knowing you're authorized to be here. Please, your name and ra-"

The butt of the gun was brought down to his head so quickly the guard didn't have time to react. Immediately going unconscious, he hit the floor with a dull thump, blood running onto the white carpet from the back of his neck.

"There you have my name and rank," the long haired one muttered. A nasty smirk spread across his face as he grabbed the doorknob and stepped inside.

… … …

Caraway liked to take his time during his breakfast. It was his only moment of peace. The war was wearing him out completely. It was not easy being president at such a time, being the cause of so much bloodshed and lives sacrificed for himself and the country. Sighing heavily, he watched the cloudy horizon and sipped his coffee.

"Sir," a voice behind him said.

Setting down the cup on the table beside him, Caraway stood up to face the soldier who had entered the balcony, "Yes? …Hmm, I can't remember seeing you here before…"

"Sir, I have a message for you… A… very important one," the unknown, long haired soldier said in a dark voice.

"Oh, really? Well, what is it?" the President asked with obvious concern.

"Why… THIS, of course," the soldier whipped out his gun and aimed it at Caraway, who gasped and stepped back in shock. The soldier brushed the hair away from his face, revealing a horrible scar and a missing eye, "Finally, Caraway… It's just you and me."

"Xar…"

"Finally! You're going to pay for what you did to me. To all of us… After all these years of fighting, you throw us away and say 'let's have peace'. All this fighting, for NOTHING?! President Deling promised us a better life! We would rule the entire Galbadian continent, and eventually, perhaps Balamb. We would be the greatest nation on the entire western part of the world! But no! After all we went through, you step up and say we did it for nothing!"

"Xar, surely you must understand…" Caraway began, but Xar wouldn't let him speak.

"No! I lost my eye in battle! I'm scarred for life! I even lost my wife! It's time someone who knows how to lead a nation to success takes over, Caraway. It's time you pay the prize for what you did, and it's time I get the power I deserve…," Xar glared angrily and placed his finger on the trigger, ready to fire…

Everything went so fast.

"President!" a male voice called.

A gunshot was heard, just as a black form jumped up in front of the President.

"SQUALL!!!" Quistis cried, as the wounded body lost balance and stumbled backwards, tripping over the edge of the balcony.

Another gunshot, and Xar's body dropped to the ground. Caught off guard by the president's rescuer, he hadn't seen Caraway's own gun.

Quistis immediately ran to the balcony's edge, "Squall!! Oh… no…"

He was falling… falling… the pain burning in his chest.

…falling.

Then the impact, and everything went black.


	7. Chapters 31 - 37

Chapter 31:

……

He had no idea what time it was, what day it was, or even what week it was. He had no idea where he was or how long he had been there. At first it was difficult to wake up, difficult to gather his senses. But then he felt the pain, his entire body aching. Slowly, it started to come back to him, but vaguely.

Forcing his eyes open, the pale, white light immediately blinded him and hurt his eyes, so he quickly closed them again.

There was someone else there. Obviously having noticed he was stirring, the person turned and called, "Rinoa! I think he's waking up!"

(Rinoa…)

Someone else entered, and he tried to open his eyes again, his vision still blurry as he caught glimpse of something blue. It was still her favorite color.

Seeing him looking at her, Rinoa hastily stepped forward and threw her arms around his neck, "Squall!" she said, her voice happy, but also chocked as if she had been crying or was about to.

He wanted to hug her back, but didn't really find the energy to do so yet. The other person, whom he recognized as Doctor Kadowaki once his sight was clear, gently pulled Rinoa away, "Careful, dear. He's still weak," she turned to Squall, looking into his eyes as she was probably checking if they were focusing, "Squall, can you hear me?"

He nodded faintly.

"I don't know what to say – You get into so much trouble, but you're also extremely lucky. Young man, you were mere inches away from death," the doctor said solemnly. Rinoa, who was standing next to her, looked even more miserable as she said those words.

(What happened…?)

"First of all, the bullet could easily have hit your heart, but it missed and hit one of your ribs instead. What's the chances of that! Also, the fall from the balcony should have killed you, but you happened to land in some bushes that were right below, and they reduced the damage greatly. I've removed the bullet, and you got away with a mild concussion and a broken leg."

(Oh, wonderful…)

(… Caraway… Did he…?)

"The… p-president?" Squall asked.

"Squall, don't worry," Rinoa said with a sigh, "He's fine. Xar is dead."

"…good."

"I'll leave you two alone," Doctor Kadowaki turned towards the exit.

Rinoa sighed another time and sat down on the edge of the bed, wiping away a few tears that were rolling down her cheeks, "Oh, Squall… Always thinking of your job before you think of yourself," she put a hand on his forehead, pulling away a few strands of sweaty hair that stuck to it.

(That's what we were trained to do…)

"And don't tell me it's what you're supposed to do," she bit her lip and swallowed, "I hate this. I hate it when you go out on missions and I can't come with you. I hate it when I'm left behind to worry. I hate that you can't just say no, just once," she shook her head softly, more tears spilling from her eyes, "I was supposed to help out – I'm a Sorceress! It was my job to liberate Timber, but it all suddenly became too big for me when Xar appeared… And then Adrian… I couldn't go anywhere. Now I just sit here while you're out there, wondering… 'Is he okay? What's he doing right now? Is he hurt? Is he… still alive?'" she buried her face against his chest, cracking a sob, "I was so scared, Squall! I thought you were going to die!"

Letting out a slow breath, Squall put an arm around her shoulders the best he could, "It's all right… What I did was necessary… And I'm not dead."

"No, you're not," she whispered, looking up to meet his gaze again with saddened, moist brown eyes, "And you won't be going anywhere for a few months with that leg of yours… But what about the future? We can't predict it, I know, but… what if anything like this happens again and… you're not so lucky? I don't want to be left alone any more than you do…"

(What is she saying? …Leave SeeD? She's implying it… I can't do that. Garden is my home… This is my job. I can't just walk away from everything I know. I can't. Garden is my responsibility, whether I like it or not…)

He didn't say anything, not really knowing how to reply without upsetting her more, so he simply held Rinoa quietly while trying to figure out how long it would take before he could walk again. Cure spells rarely worked with broken bones, at least if it was bad… But they could probably speed up the healing, at least a little. He figured that as soon as he was able to, he'd go back to his work as Headmaster.

That was his responsibility, and he accepted it.

"Where's Adrian?" he asked, eventually.

Rinoa lifted her head and looked at him, drying off tears with her sleeve, "He's with Quistis and Xu… I can go get him, if you want."

Squall nodded, then added, "…Tell Quistis to come here too, will you? I… need to know what happened."

"Can't you just relax for now? Everything is being taken care of. The world won't end even if you don't get to know before tomorrow," Rinoa rose and put her hands on her hips.

"Rinoa…," Squall sighed.

(I'm awake. I want to know what Galbadia's current situation is now that Xar is dead. Is that such a big crime?)

She merely sighed in return and gave him a rather empty stare, then left the room. It was strange, because she'd usually put up more of a fight, even if she knew she was going to lose.

Squall took the opportunity to close his eyes and rest for a minute. His headache was worse than ever – no wonder, though, considering he had fallen three stories down from Caraway's balcony.

(That was a close call… But only one out of many. How many times have I risked my life? I've lost count… SeeDs do it all the time. That's just the way it is. We're used to it.)

(Or are we really? When we thought Seifer had been executed… Even if he wasn't exactly our friend, it affected all of us. Maybe we're not as good at coping with death as we think we are…)

Chapter 32:

And for the first time in decades, the world let out of a breath of relief… and relaxed. It had been two years since Xar was killed that fatal morning in Deling City, but his death had only been the beginning of a chain of events that would eventually lead to Galbadia's peace. The vengeful ex-soldier had many followers who kept causing trouble and it took President Caraway, his advisors and his army a lot of time and effort to settle peace without killing all of the rebels. Of course, this affected the rest of the world as well. Garden SeeDs were assigned to plenty of missions to help Caraway again, and even Esthar provided some military backup, as many Galbadian soldiers had already fallen in war.

So when it finally became official that all of the main problems were solved, everybody was relieved.

In the midst of the commotion was a little boy who struggled to understand what was going on. Wars, politics, armies – none of those things mattered to Adrian. Only five years old, he had never left his mother's side, he had never been outside of the Balamb continent, he hadn't seen war close up like most others had, blissfully unaware of the pain that many children his age had suffered on the neighboring continent.

That didn't mean things were perfect for him, either.

Adrian Leonhart had grown from the cute baby boy everyone in Garden adored, to a young child that had just entered the age when he was old enough to become a junior classman. There weren't any other schools available, except the local one in Balamb town, and that was too far away. Even if he was a student at Garden it didn't mean he had to complete the study and become a SeeD – junior classmen at his age didn't learn much else but basic things like reading and writing, with a minor addition of fighting knowledge – but of course, all the SeeDs in Garden expected him to follow in his father's footsteps. Everybody, maybe except Squall himself, who actually didn't mention it at all.

Adrian's mother didn't like the others' expectations. He could tell she was concerned, but knew little of what she and Squall were discussing behind his back. They never allowed him to listen, even if it was his future they were talking about. That was so unfair.

Having a father who was Garden's Headmaster and was considered a hero wasn't always so easy.

And the rest of his family – his mother was the world's only Sorceress, and his two grandfathers were both Presidents. Even if he only knew about one of them, and had met neither one in person.

What made it worse was that the other kids in his class, most of them being about 5 or 6 years old, could be really cruel to him. He couldn't really understand why – So he was small for his age, but they mainly picked on him for being who he was. Maybe it was jealousy, maybe they didn't like how he got so much attention from older students. He didn't know. None of them, neither the adults or the other children saw him for who he was: A shy, but smart boy who would love to have friends and play around like other kids – but the others didn't care about things like that. They wanted him to grow up to a great fighter, or they spited him for being unofficially appointed as 'the future Squall'.

They only saw Leonhart. None of them saw Adrian.

The only relief Adrian felt, three days after his grandfather's official peace speech, was a day away from Garden. Rinoa was meeting Zone and Watts there to catch up on things. They hadn't seen each others for years, and Rinoa had agreed to let Adrian come with her to see them. There weren't any dangers inside the town itself, and by driving there by car they had avoided the monsters out in the field.

It was a strange experience for Adrian – he hadn't been this far away from Garden before, and he realized how little he had seen of the world. People here lived in houses instead of dorms, they didn't have any training center, and the little café down by the pier was so different from the big cafeteria back home.

Still, it turned out to be a dull experience for Adrian after all. After the first, awkward introduction to his mothers' friends, all three of them were lost in boring, adult talk, speaking of things he could care less about. In an unguarded moment, he eventually snuck out of the café and went down to the pier instead, lying down on his stomach by its edge and staring down at the water.

"Wha'cha doooin'?" came a voice from behind him. Adrian started and jumped to his feet, almost tripping into the water, but he somehow managed to keep his balance.

Before him stood a tiny girl, a little younger than himself - probably around 4 years old. She had rather short, slightly curly hair, pale blonde in color, and huge, innocent, sea blue eyes, but they also seemed to sparkle with a hint of mischief, "Oooh, I scawed yoo?" she asked softly, then giggled.

"Ye… uh, I mean… nah," Adrian quickly replied.

"Bet'cha I did! I scawed yoo!" the girl said tauntingly, jumping from one foot to the other and watching him with a big grin of her face.

"Did not! I'm not scared of anythin'!" he protested, frowning as he approached her. Great, another one who teased him. But this one was smaller than himself, he could stand up to her.

"Scaaaaawdy-cat!" she cried happily, giggling still.

"Take that back!" Adrian threatened.

"What'cha gonna do? Tell yew mommy?"

Adrian pondered. He didn't really want to hurt her or anything, besides, he'd just get in trouble if he tried, "No," he said, "But I'll get my gunblade and get ya with it. I've got one back home!" – Well, Squall did, anyway, but at least there was a gunblade in their apartment. Close enough.

The girl's eyes went wide, "Yoo do?" she squealed, "Kids dun have 'unblades! Bet'cha lyin'!"

"Am not! I'll show it to ya if ya don't believe me!"

"Okay," her eyes sparkled, and she smiled suddenly, "Yoo pwomise?"

Adrian swallowed. His mother had told him to not make promises he knew he couldn't keep. Then again, she had told him not to lie too, so the damage was already done, "I promise!" he said.

"Cool!" the girl giggled, "M'name's Sejia. Wha's yews?"

"Adrian," he replied, smiling in return, "Ya live here?"

She nodded, "Yup! Me an' mom an' daddy, 'n da othew side," she turned and pointed to some place behind the buildings further up the street.

"What're ya doing here then?" Adrian asked.

Sejia grinned, "Unca Wai's watchin' me… but he's sleepin' 'gain. I can go whewe I wanna!"

The boy glanced at the ground, "I wish I could do that…," he looked back up at her and saw she was still smiling. She was the first kid that had ever been this nice to him. She didn't know him, that was why, he thought. He could be himself, because she didn't expect anything from him. Other than the gunblade thing, of course…

"Adrian!" a voice called from the café. He turned and looked at his mother, who was waving at him, "Adrian, we have to go!"

Frowning, he glanced back at his new found friend, "Guess I gotta go… Bye," he said before running up towards Rinoa.

"Dun fo'get da pwomiseee!" the little girl yelled after him. Giggling again, she turned in the other direction and scampered off.

Chapter 33:

The day began as any normal day would.

And when the instructors weren't looking, mean comments were routine. Class was over for the youngest juniors, and several of the boys had gathered around Adrian in a circle.

"Teacher's pet!"

"Ya think you're so great just 'cause you're the headmaster's kid!"

"You're too weak to be a SeeD, anyway!"

"Leave me alone!" Adrian cried. Why wasn't there anyone there? Why did they never see what was going on? The other kids never touched him, but it didn't matter – the words hurt just as much, if not more.

"Wimp!"

"I'm not a wimp!" Adrian looked the others hard in the eyes. It was like a scene from Squall's childhood – only with a lot more Seifers – and like his father, Adrian stood up for himself. Or he tried, "Sejia don't think I'm a wimp!"

"Who's Sejia?"

"She's my friend, in Balamb town. I'm gonna show you I'm not a wimp – I promised her I'd show her my gunblade, and I will!" He had almost begun to believe in his own lie, even though he had no idea how to handle the weapon. After all, he was only a child trying to defend himself.

"You don't have a gunblade," one of the older boys said, "Bet you're too much of a wimp to go outside Garden anyway."

"I'm gonna prove I'm stronger than all of ya! I'm gonna prove it!" Adrian hissed, his lip trembling. The other children weren't paying attention to him anymore. An instructor was heading in their direction, and the kids quickly departed. Adrian pushed past them and ran down the hall. Away from them, away from everything…

… … …

Squall pressed a hand to his forehead and sighed as he signed yet another paper.

(I hate these damn reports…)

The injuries he got over two years ago had put him out of play for several months. Even after his leg was healed he was limping for a while, and had only occasionally lead smaller missions after that. The Headmaster job wasn't what he had intended to end up as at all, it just didn't fit him. But he hardly ever complained to anyone – there was no one to complain to, there was no use complaining. SeeD had to survive for generations to come, it was as simple as that… Still, he felt pretty useless spending so much time in a dull office.

"Xu," he said, glancing up at the older SeeD. Even after these years she was still there, helping him out with some of the work. He was amazed she never seemed bored, "The field exam is in a week, right?"

She glanced up from the papers, nodding idly, "Right. Why?"

"I think this mission could fit for an exam… Here, take a look," he handed the request to her. 

Xu nodded again, "I'll look through it," she said and turned to leave the office. Just as she reached the doors, they opened, and she nearly ran into the small person entering the room, "Woah, watch it, Adrian."

"Sorry," the boy muttered. She smiled at him and stepped out into the hall. Adrian glanced over at his father, then approached the desk, "Hi dad."

Squall only barely looked up, wanting to get done with his work as soon as possible, "Hi Adrian," he replied half-heartedly.

Adrian chewed his lower lip, watching Squall for a while. Seeing he didn't get any attention, he moved around the desk and tugged at his father's sleeve, "Dad?"

Sighing, Squall turned to his son, "What is it?"

"Um… Can ya teach me how to fight with a gunblade?" the boy looked down at the floor. Squall blinked.

"Are you serious? Adrian, you're far too young."

Adrian pouted, "But-"

"Look… When you're older, all right?"

"But I wanna learn it now!"

"Adrian, I don't have time for this. I've got some work to finish," mildly annoyed, Squall looked down at the papers again. He felt most like just sweeping them all off the desk and go do something else, "Go find your mother, okay?"

Had Squall been more attentive, he'd have noticed the hurt look in Adrian's eyes, "Fine… I'll do it," the boy said somewhat rudely and promptly left the room.

… … …

Later that afternoon, Squall was interrupted yet again. Rinoa came into the office, and she seemed to be in an oddly good mood. She was walking with a light bounce in her step and had a wide smile on her face. Squall didn't pay much attention to it, though. She had been happy for the last few days, ever since Galbadia's official peace.

"What are you doing?" she asked, leaning down to kiss him.

"Just getting the last of these reports sorted out… finally."

The sorceress smirked and put her hands on her hips, "Squall Leonhart, you work way too much. Take a break and pay some attention to me for a while, will you?"

(What's she so excited about?)

Shrugging, he rose from the chair and wrapped his arms around her, "I'm listening. What's up?"

A wide grin spread on her face and as on impulse, she threw her arms around his neck and hugged him tightly, "I've got something to tell you! Oh, Squall, it's so wonderful!"

"Wow, calm down. You're starting to remind of Selphie," Squall smiled slightly.

Rinoa giggled, "Well, I just came from Doctor Kadowaki. We were playing cards, and-"

He blinked, "Doctor Kadowaki? Where's Adrian, then?"

"I thought he was with you?" she seemed confused as he shook his head, "I haven't seen him since this morning before he went to class. He's probably in the apartment."

"Probably…," Squall let go of Rinoa. Something was bothering him. Adrian didn't like to be alone. If he wasn't with Rinoa, he'd usually hang out in the office or be with Quistis.

(He seemed upset about something. Gunblade training…)

Rinoa watched him curiously, concerned. Whatever the secret she wanted to tell was, she knew better than to interrupt Squall's thoughts at that moment, "What's wrong?" she asked, simply.

Suddenly, a thought struck Squall, and his eyes went somewhat wide, "I have to check something," he said quickly, half walking, half running out of the office and towards the elevator.

"Squall, wait!" she called, but he didn't hear her.

(I'd better not be right about this…)

… but as he stepped inside the apartment, the case where his gunblade should be resting was open, and the Lion Heart was gone.

Swearing, Squall turned and ran as fast as he could.

… … …

The shimmering blue gunblade was heavy, and he had to struggle hard to avoid dragging it behind him instead of carrying it. It had been pretty easy to sneak out, though. Most of the students were in the cafeteria, library or their dorms this late in the afternoon, but he did have to hide from some bypassing instructors and older SeeDs a few times. The guard by the main entrance had been busy reading the newspaper, luckily.

The way to Balamb town was longer than he had thought. He was following the road that lead between the town and the place where the mobile Garden usually stood, but he was already tired and could barely see the town in distance. The Lion Heart didn't make it any easier.

But he was going to show them, all of them, that he could take care of himself. He was going to keep the promise he gave Sejia. As he walked, though, he slowly realized how foolish he had been and that all of this wouldn't cause him anything but trouble. He could hardly lift the weapon, even… What if a monster appeared…

A roar was heard, and Adrian froze in his tracks. The ground was shaking as the footsteps of something big became louder and louder… Something big heading in his direction.

Reaching the top of the hill, the T-rexaur threw its head back and roared again. It had strayed from the forest where it lived, having smelled the human approaching its home.

Adrian was paralyzed. He had heard the stories about the T-rexaurs in the training center, about how large and dangerous they were – he had seen pictures of them, he had heard about what they had done to unfortunate students while they were training. But nothing could compare to the size of this thing – it was enormous! At least three meters tall, its teeth almost bigger than Adrian's hands. He trembled, he wanted to run, but didn't know where to go.

Glancing down at the gunblade, he lifted it, trying to figure out how to use it. It was too large for him to hit with the blade – not that he was strong enough to cause any damage, anyway – and he didn't even realize he could pull the trigger.

The beast didn't hesitate. It could walk faster than he could run, and kept getting closer and closer. Within seconds, it would reach him.

Not knowing what else to do, the boy dropped the gunblade and started shrieking desperately.

"Adrian!!"

Squall was running faster than he probably had ever ran before. So close, yet so far away – He could see his son stand there; unable to defend himself, unable to do anything but stare. So close, but not close enough. He hadn't run fast enough. He hadn't discovered the boy's absence soon enough. Not close enough to use magic.

He couldn't do anything but watch as the large dinosaur like animal snapped up the boy from the ground in his huge jaws, sharp teeth cracking bones. The scream was horrible.

"NO!!! Adrian!!" Getting just within the magic's range, he cast a Firaga spell on the T-rexaur, which caused it to roar in pain. Adrian's limp body fell to the ground, hard. The Firaga spell was quickly followed by a Stop spell. The animal froze in its position, like a living statue.

"Adrian!" Squall rushed to his son's side, bending down next to him. The wounds were bad.

There was blood… a lot. And Adrian didn't move.

"Adrian, wake up!" He cast a Curaga. No effect. Cursing under his breath, Squall pulled out one of the Phoenix Downs he always carried with him and put it to Adrian's lips, trying to get the liquid into him, but there was still no effect.

Desperation welled up inside him, and Squall stood up again, shaking his head, "No…," he swallowed and concentrated again, casting Full-Life. The boy was motionless.

(The injuries are too severe…)

"No… no… no. No. NO!" words couldn't describe what he felt. He didn't know what he felt. He wanted to deny what he knew, but couldn't – The world was cruel and he knew it all too well. But this?

Adrian was lying there; he didn't move, he didn't breathe, his heart didn't beat. He wasn't going to open his eyes, he wasn't going to wake – In mere seconds of an eternity he had changed from a child full of life to nothing, gone. Adrian couldn't be healed by spells.

He was dead.

Too many emotions went through him at once, but one seemed to stand out among them: Blind fury. Squall didn't even need an Aura spell as he grabbed his gunblade, eyes burning with pure rage. He slashed at the helpless T-rexaur, which was still caught by the Stop spell. He slashed again and again and again – the beast fell to the ground, but he kept hitting it. Again and again, over and over, until he dropped to his knees in exhaustion, blood matting his clothes and gunblade.

His eyes were stinging. Usually it helped to let out his frustrations by fighting, but this time, it didn't help. At all. He forced himself to look at the body of his son again, staring, unblinking, feeling as if he was about to pass out himself.

In distance, he could hear people yelling. He could hear Rinoa's cry. Not even a sorceress could bring back the dead.

No one could help him now.

Chapter 34:

They were all there at the funeral. Quistis, Zell, Selphie, Irvine, Xu, Cid, Edea… even Nida was there. Only Bella had to stay behind at the orphanage to take care of the kids.

All of them had known Adrian, and he had made an impact on all their lives in one way or another. The thought of the small boy being taken away from them so soon, without any reason or purpose, was devastating. Even Selphie seemed sincerely depressed.

Ellone, Laguna, Kiros and Ward had purposefully arrived after the ceremony was over, – they didn't want to make things worse. Or, more specifically, Laguna didn't want to make things worse. They were all gathered on the Quad in Garden, and never before had such a big group been so quiet. Squall was nowhere to be seen.

Rinoa kept away from all the others. She was sitting under one of the trees, hugging her knees and staring emptily out into the air. Quistis cautiously approached her, and slowly sat down next to her, not caring her dress would get dirty. Not saying a word, she placed a hand on the other woman's shoulder.

"I still can't believe it," the sorceress whispered, lifting her hand to wipe away the tears that kept rolling down her cheeks, "It's unreal. It's like one of those horrible nightmares, and I'm just waiting for dawn to come… Waiting to wake up and realize it's just a dream."

Quistis watched her with sympathy, as Rinoa took in a deep, trembling breath and continued, "But I'm not going to wake up, am I? I'm not going to wake up to the sound of Angelo barking for me to serve her breakfast, or to the touch of Squall's lips on my cheek… I'm not going to wake to see my boy's lovely face as he tugs my arm and asks me to get up to be with him," chocking back a sob, she willingly accepted it when Quistis hugged her in an attempt to comfort her friend.

"If I could only understand why! He was so innocent, he never did anything wrong. Of all the pointless and awful deaths in the world, why did this have to happen? To him? To us? Haven't we suffered enough?"

Closing her eyes, Quistis let Rinoa cry on her shoulder, while trying to hold back her own tears, "I wish I knew, Rinoa… But I don't think anyone can answer that question."

"And Squall…," Rinoa said softly as soon she could regain her voice. Pulling away from Quistis, she wrapped her arms around her knees again and rocked gently back and forth, in a futile try to soothe herself, "Squall… He's… it's as if he's gone. As if his body is there, but it's just an empty shell, void of any soul or emotion. Have you seen him, Quistis? …He just stares. He doesn't frown, doesn't cry, doesn't seem angry, or sad, or anything at all. … I… I'm so afraid I've lost him… He's hardly said two words to me since…" she cut herself off.

"It's his way of dealing with things, dear. Until he met you, he was like that all the time," Quistis replied, "Well... although I haven't seen him this bad before," she admitted.

"Quisty, he isn't dealing at all," Rinoa shook her head, "I don't know, I think he's denying it, locking it up… I never understood how he could do that. Whatever it is he's doing… he won't share with me. He used to talk to me, used to open up once in a while… Now there's nothing there," she closed her eyes, a pained expression on her face, "We should be comforting each other. We should go through this together. But he won't let me get close to him, he won't let me touch him! It's as if he doesn't realize that… I'm hurting too… so badly…"

"Oh, Rinoa…," Quistis sighed and glanced at the ground. Part of her hated Squall for doing this to the girl she knew he cherished more than anything, part of her could only pity him. She knew Squall – she didn't always understand him, but she knew this was the only way he could react. There had only been two other humans in the world she knew for sure that he loved; and he had just lost one of them. Furthermore, Quistis had a good feeling he was blaming himself for it.

She wanted to help, just as much as Rinoa did. All of them wanted to help, all of them had tried to talk to him, but it was impossible. It was like talking to a stone wall. The same wall she had been talking to that day over six years ago, in the secret area of the Training Center - only this wall was twice as thick, and didn't even hear her when she spoke.

The group of friends that had defeated Ultimecia had been split up. Only Quistis and Rinoa had been left to see how Squall had changed over the past two years since the accident in Deling. She knew he would never be a social and open person, but before that accident, he had been somewhat better, at least. Quistis knew he'd open up to Rinoa back then. But as he got more and more stuck in his work as Headmaster, he had grown more and more absent. Whenever someone said he was working too much, he'd just work harder, as if to prove them wrong – that he could do it.

Rinoa was usually alone with Adrian.

He should have spent more time with his son, but now it was suddenly too late. There wouldn't be another chance, there wouldn't be another day. For the first time, Quistis truly hated her job and everything they stood for. She hated the world for being so full of pain and death, she hated the fact that Garden had to train innocent children to fight for a future of certain destruction. She hated that they were knowingly leading SeeD into a losing battle – That somewhere in the vast future, all these children - or their descendants - would be brutally slain by a mad sorceress; and to no avail. They – Quistis and her friends - would be the ones who killed her, and still they didn't even know what would happen after that.

What will the world look like then? Will we have fought for nothing? Will all nations already be wiped out, and we came too late?

In all of this, Adrian was but a tiny piece of a huge puzzle – one that no one would even notice was gone, no one would ever remember him for anything, as if his five years of life never mattered. But it mattered to them, it mattered to her, to Rinoa, to Squall. They were known as heroes long before they even would become heroes, but no one would remember them as personalities, and Adrian would be a mere tiny note in the history books: Son of Squall and Rinoa Leonhart. Killed by a T-rexaur at the age of five.

Quistis realized she was thinking too much, but she couldn't help it. Her life had been going well lately, she was a top ranking instructor and had a loving boyfriend, one of the other instructors, but that didn't seem to matter anymore. She only wanted to share Rinoa's pain, and in that moment, she was more depressed than ever.

Chapter 35:

T-rexaur bones were the only reminder of what had happened on that spot only a week ago. The grass grew, the birds chirped and the sun shone as if the tragedy had never occurred. The wind picked up slightly, ruffling Squall's long, brown hair and the furry collar of his black leather jacket – he never seemed to grow tired of either.

The silence had never been so deafening before, and the idyllic and beautiful day only seemed to mock his impossibly dark mood. Although no one could tell by his stiff expression, there was a storm going on inside him, his eyes shadowed by painful thoughts and feelings.

(If I only knew why… If I only knew what he was thinking…)

His gaze remained firmly locked on the ground, where faint traces of blood still were mixed with the dirt. He swallowed and pulled out his bright blue Lion Heart, slowly stroking one hand over the blade.

(What the hell was he thinking?! Why did he do something as stupid like that? I don't understand…)

It didn't matter how much he asked himself these questions, though – Every time he came to the same conclusion: He didn't know. No one knew. Squall felt he should have known, but he didn't have the faintest idea what thoughts and reasons had ran through the boy's mind, he didn't know what Adrian experienced while he wasn't there with him. Lately, he hadn't been there for the majority of the day. And he hated himself for that.

(I should have realized before… I should have ran faster…)

Suddenly, he felt as if the weapon he held in his hands was what had murdered his son, and that he had been the one holding it. Disgusted, he threw down the gunblade harshly to the ground and proceeded to press his hand against his forehead, "Damn!" he hissed.

For a moment, he simply took the time to regain his nearly worn out composure, before picking up the Lion Heart again and walking away in the direction of Balamb Town. Anything to avoid facing the others, just for a little while longer…

… … …

"Help, help!" the voice rang clearly through the air and made him snap out of his thoughts once again as he was nearing the town. It was a child, he could tell, most likely a girl. Without thinking, he grabbed his gunblade and speeded up his pace, running in the direction of the cries.

As he rounded the hill, he saw a small, blonde girl being attacked by a Bite Bug. She was covering her head with her arms, curled up on the ground and almost reminding him of a hedgehog trying to protect itself. Immediately he headed towards them, jumping up in front of the girl and bringing the blade of his weapon down on the giant insect. The Bite Bug made a weak buzzing sound, then dropped to the ground and died at once.

Wiping off the gunblade, Squall put it away again and turned to the girl. She looked up at him with wide, blue eyes, slowly daring to get to her feet and brush off her dress, "Thanks, mister!" she said brightly, smiling. She seemed oddly familiar in a way, but he shrugged it off.

Squall lowered to one knee to be at her level, frowning slightly, "What are you doing out here all alone, young lady? You could have been hurt."

The girl titled her head, and her smile turned into a pout, "Unca Wai fell 'sleep 'gain… So I went 'xplowin'," she explained, then seemed concerned, "Y'think mom an' daddy'll be mad?"

This scene seemed so completely out of place considering what had just happened to Adrian. Squall barely heard what she said, but when he realized she had spoken, he considered the question for about a second before shrugging, "Maybe. They'll be glad you're okay, though," he stood up again, "There's a bit to walk back to the town. Come on, I'll take you home."

Without looking at her, he walked towards the road again, but the little blonde ran up in front of him and he had to stop to not walk straight into her, "Hold m'hand?" she asked, "Daddy always do."

"I'm not your dad," Squall said, bluntly. Adrian used to do that – this was getting way too awkward. As if his mind wasn't occupied with his son all the time already.

"Please? 'm scawed of the ugly bugs…," she pleaded, looking up at him. Knowing he wouldn't get anywhere by saying no, Squall sighed and simply picked her up, carrying her on his arm instead. It went faster. The girl seemed surprised, but figured a ride was even better and didn't complain.

"I'm Sejia," she said, suddenly, "What's yer name?"

He glanced sideways at her, "…Squall."

All the way back to Balamb, Sejia was chatting about everything between heaven and earth as she saw it, in her childish speech, and Squall hardly heard a word of it. His eyes were firmly set on the horizon all the time, blank and expressionless.

Even as they neared the town, he didn't pay any attention to his surroundings. Not before Sejia interrupted herself in the middle of a sentence and squealed, "Daddy!!" she squirmed and Squall let her down, watching as she ran over to her parents-

-he blinked.

The tall, blonde man took the little girl into his arms and lifted her high up into the air, swirling her around, "Sejia! Where the hell have you been? You had me worried sick!" he was smiling widely, though, and Sejia giggled with glee.

"Nice man saved me fwom ugly bug!"

The woman next to them – with grayish white hair down to her shoulders a black patch over her left eye, turned to the muscular, darker man beside her., "RAGE!" she said angrily, kicking his shin.

He responded by yelping and jumping about on one leg, "Owww! Fujin, little bugger keeps runnin' off, ya know?"

Turning back to her husband and child, she crossed her arms as she watched them both grin – Sejia was definitely her father's daughter, "SPOILED," Fujin muttered, shaking her head.

Squall simply stared.

And that was when their eyes met; steel blue to sea blue, scar mirroring scar, rival facing rival – The hero and the traitor looked at each other for the first time in six years. And there was immediate recognition, the traits were unmistakable. Both of them realized what Squall had just done, both were slightly disturbed by the thought.

None of them had ever backed down when the other put up a challenge, but they both respected the other as a fighter. There was a time they were close to cutting each other to pieces just because of the rivalry, there was a time when one fought the other to save the world and himself, while the other fought to fulfill his dreams.

Time had passed, though, and so many things had changed. There wasn't any need to challenge anymore, no need to fight. Some old wounds was better off when left alone.

A small smile – that familiar and arrogant one – crept up on Seifer's lips. Fujin and Raijin were watching Squall too, now, but none of them said anything. They knew this was up to Seifer.

Squall didn't move for another moment, then gave a single nod and turned to walk away.

A part of him was satisfied to see Seifer happy, to see that even he had finally found peace, even if his future hadn't turned out as he had planned.

Still, it was such a terrible irony; Squall couldn't save his own son, but he had saved his worst rival's daughter.

Clenching his fists, he couldn't help up cursing whatever higher forces there were for bringing him so much grief when everybody else – even Seifer – were seemingly happy. He walked away not looking back, not even as he heard Raijin's voice behind him; "That was Squall, ya know? …He sure looks different."

"SQUALL, NO," Fujin's loud, raspy voice replied, "GHOST…"

Speeding up, Squall avoided hearing Seifer's comment on the subject.

Chapter 36:

"Talk to him, Laguna."

"He doesn't want to see me, he hates my guts! How can you expect him to let me talk to him?" Laguna was frustrated, pacing back and forth by the base of the hill.

Kiros rested his hands against his sides and glanced up at the lone figure standing on top of the hill, shaking his head, "Well, someone has to talk to him, and when even Rinoa couldn't get through to him, then who will?"

"Kiros," the President sighed, "Look, maybe… Couldn't Edea do it? She's more of a parent to him than I ever was, anyway."

"Laguna, I see you're still a –3 on the manliness scale," Kiros smirked faintly, but then turned serious again, "Stop letting him walk all over you. The least he could do is show you an inch of respect – You're the reason he's walking the surface of the earth, after all," he paused, putting a hand on his friend's shoulder, "Talk to him."

Laguna sighed again, "Fine… I just hope I won't regret this," he reluctantly turned and started walking up the hill, "Wish me luck."

… … …

Squall stood, silently staring at the plain, gray gravestone that was solely placed there on the hilltop. It was early morning, the day after the funeral, and a thin, pale mist surrounded the hill – the sun hadn't even rose yet.

(I wonder what happens after you die… I always thought you just vanished. Only existing in other people's memories… That sounds so awful.)

He closed his eyes and took in a deep breath, letting it out slowly. Not having expected anyone else to be out here so early, he was somewhat startled when he heard footsteps behind him. Swirling around, he found himself almost face to face with Laguna, and took a step back in surprise, "What are you doing here?" he asked, sounding even more hostile than he had intended.

"The same as you, I suppose," the President of Esthar replied calmly, glancing at the grave, "I thought I'd come say goodbye to my grandson…"

Squall started to say something, but Laguna interrupted him, "Don't try to deny it. Whether you like it or not, that's the cruel truth. Deal with it," he sighed, keeping his eyes on the grave.

After staring angrily at the older man for a moment, Squall turned his gaze to the ground, "You can see him later. Just leave me alone."

"You think it'll be any easier to be alone? You think you can just pretend it never happened?" Laguna shook his head, "You're about to make the same mistake I did."

That got Squall's attention, "Don't you dare compare yourself to me!" he growled, turning to face his father, "You have no idea what I've been through, you have no idea what my life has been like! You came 17 years too late, Laguna! Don't think you can come here and give me the 'old, wise one's talk' now!"

Laguna seemed to shrink back a bit at the words, but he nodded, "That's good, just let it all out."

Realizing he had nearly lost control of himself, Squall abruptly went quiet, "This is stupid," he muttered and turned to leave.

"Squall, listen to me…," Laguna started, but Squall ignored him. Annoyed, and knowing he wouldn't get another chance, Laguna reached out and grabbed his son by his shoulders, whirling him around to face him again, "Listen to me!"

Squall was surprised by how strong Laguna really was. He could have pulled away from his grasp, but for some reason, he didn't try – he merely glared harshly at the President.

"Now, I probably don't know half of what you've been through, that's right," Laguna breathed, "I wasn't there and that was solely my own fault, and you have every right to hate me. But give me five minutes of your attention, just this one time! It isn't that hard to see what you're doing – You're letting your own pain, guilt and bitterness eat you from inside, and even though you don't want to admit it, it's eventually going to destroy you. You can't go through this alone. No one can go through life and death alone!"

"Listen to who's talking!" Squall spat and started to squirm free, but Laguna ignored him and only held him more firmly.

"The point is, Squall, you aren't alone anymore. You have Rinoa, but you don't seem to see her. She lost her son too, you know. She's very upset and hurt and she needs you! Your unborn child needs you."

Squall blinked, his anger seeming to disappear as quickly as the mist around them when the sun rose above the horizon, "My unborn…?"

"Yeah, that's right," Laguna said, finally letting go of him, "She's known for a while, but she was afraid to tell you since you've been so terribly distant. If you keep being so cold, keep holding her at a distance, you're going to lose them both, Squall. Humans need support from others when they are in pain. You're not a little, lonely boy anymore. Grow up and open your eyes – It's time you realized what a wonderful girl you have."

Silent now, Squall was unsure of what to say or do next. He was left in some sort of shock and confusion after all the recent events, he didn't know how to react at all.

Laguna sighed yet another time, "When Raine died, I simply didn't know what to do. I was so angry, so sad and I blamed myself for not being there. And I thought I couldn't deal with having two children around then. I thought you'd be better off with in Edea and Cid Kramer's company, as I had met them and I knew they were good people. You'd be loved there, you'd get the attention you needed, other children to play with…," he glanced shamefully at the ground, "I thought… I did the best for you, because I really would have made a lousy father figure for both you and Ellone. Maybe I was wrong. I just let my guilt and my work as president consume me… I wouldn't have made it this far without the support of my loyal friends."

He paused briefly, then suddenly turned and walked down the hill, "Don't follow in my footsteps, Squall," he said softly.

… … …

The sun was pretty high on the sky when she cautiously headed up the hill, almost afraid to approach the person she knew would be there. And quite right; there he was, sitting in the soft grass behind the gravestone and staring emptily into the air.

For a moment, Rinoa doubted Laguna's little speech had had any effect at all, because he seemed the same, his expression as blank as ever. But when she cleared her voice, he looked at her, and quickly got to his feet, "Rinoa…"

She smiled quickly, faintly, and took the initiative, walking over and letting her arms slip around him. Instead of pulling away before she could even reach him as he had often done before, Squall somewhat hesitantly hugged her in return, "Laguna told me… about…"

"Yeah, I know," she whispered, resting her head against his shoulder, "Laguna is a good man, Squall… When you just get to know him."

Squall rested his chin on top of her head, then slowly lowered it and closed his eyes, pressing his nose against her soft, black hair.

"I love you," she said, barely audibly.

And right there and then, it was too much to hold in. Too much, as 18 years of pain welled up inside of him at once; all the fear, loneliness, anger, hurt and grief.

Squall let out a muffled sob, burying his face against her shoulder as warm tears moistened his eyes and rolled down his cheeks, and he held Rinoa more tightly. She stroked a hand through his hair, letting her own tears escape too, but a small smile rested on her lips.

Finally, they were one.

Finally, he was not alone anymore.

Chapter 37 – Epilogue:

The sun disappeared beyond the horizon, casting its red light across the great plains of Esthar, and he watched the beautiful scene in silence from one of the Presidental Palace's many balconies.

"I am surprised you decided to visit," said a familiar voice behind him, but he didn't bother to take his eyes off the sunset.

"Rinoa talked me into it."

"Oh," Laguna smirked, walking up next to his son and resting his elbows on the balcony's edge, "Well, either way, I appreciate it. It gets a little lonely now when Elle and her husband have moved, you know… What surprises me more is that you actually quit as Headmaster. I didn't think I'd live to see the day you left SeeD."

Squall shrugged faintly, "Xu will do a better job as than I ever did. She's got Quistis to help her out, too."

"You never asked for that position in the first place, did you?"

Not getting any reply, Laguna quickly changed the subject, "Dawn is such a beautiful little girl. She looks a lot like you, Squall," he followed the young man's gaze to the view, "How did you think of that name?"

"I guess I like sunrises," Squall smiled weakly, but it was gone again within the second.

"And sunsets?"

"I suppose so."

"So, where are you three going now?" Laguna asked, careful to not ask too many sensitive questions and keep his distance. Squall still disliked any emotional conversations and mostly tried to avoid talking with Laguna, but things had gotten a little better. The hate was gone, and that was one step in the right direction.

"We're not sure," Squall replied, "We thought of visiting Irvine and Selphie in Trabia, and Rinoa wants to see her father in Deling. Haven't considered settling down anywhere yet, though."

The president smiled, "Remember that you're always welcome here. I'd like to see my granddaughter once in a while, you know…"

A faint hint of guilt crossed Squall's face, and he nodded mutely. Laguna didn't get the chance to see Adrian more than once, and then all too soon, it had been too late for another meeting…

"Laguna?" he asked quietly, finally looking at him.

"Yeah?"

"When… when Raine died…," Squall seemed to struggle to find the words, "Did it… Does it ever stop hurting?"

Taken a bit aback by the sudden question, coming from Squall of all people, Laguna bit his lip before shaking his head, "In all honesty… No, it doesn't stop hurting. But… eventually, the pain fades somewhat, and you learn to live with it. There's always that hollow, empty feeling, though… that's left after somebody you loved very much is gone."

Letting his eyes drop again, Squall took in the words, remembering his own thoughts from when he was almost killed by Xar in Deling.

('Maybe we're not as good at coping with death as we think we are…' I sure as hell am not.)

Almost seeming to be reading his thoughts, Laguna spoke, "I think no one is ever prepared for this kind of thing, especially not when it happens so suddenly. What I know, though, is that Raine's death was an accident, and so was Adrian's… We can keep blaming ourselves for not being there, for not being able to stop it, but that won't bring any of them back. The best thing you can do now is to continue with what you have… Your wife and your daughter. If you can't do it for yourself, then do it in honor of your son. He wouldn't want you to go through the rest of your life being miserable…"

Squall glanced up at Laguna again. Perhaps he would never be able to fully forgive the man or even like him, but he had recently gained a newfound respect for the aging president. Laguna could appear careless and moronic at times, but behind that facade was an intelligent and compassionate man.

(Oh, what the heck…)

Clearing his voice a little, Squall said softly, "You will probably never, ever hear me say these words again, but… Thank you, …father."

Laguna blinked, sincerely surprised and a little shocked. But then he proceeded to grin widely, "You're welcome… son."

"Don't push it."

The president chuckled lightly, "Fine, I'll leave you alone," he patted Squall's shoulder before walking back inside.

Letting his eyes slip back to the horizon, Squall watched as it turned pink in color and as the first stars appeared on the dark night sky.

(Wherever you are, Adrian… I hope you're happy.)

He was about to go inside too and join Rinoa who was already peacefully asleep, but he hesitated.

As on impulse, Squall suddenly pulled out his Lion Heart, holding it as the moonlight reflected in the blue blade. This weapon, which he had fought so many battles with. This weapon, that had been his companion since he first joined Garden, which he had fought Seifer with, before finally upgrading it to its final form, and with which he had delivered the final blow to Ultimecia. His trademark, his pride. This weapon, that had been in his son's hands when the T-rexaur attacked… A weapon filled with memories.

… it was time to let the past be the past and look to the future.

Squall threw the shiny blue gunblade over the balcony's edge, watching as the Lion Heart fell the long distance to the ground, finally disappearing between the broad catwalks far below.

"In honor of our children, Rinoa," he whispered. For a moment, he simply stood staring at the spot where the gunblade had vanished out of view, then Squall turned and made his way into the building, without looking back.

**The End******

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